Ashamed of breaking rules
Posted 06-03-2023 at 01:06 AM by pluky
I might be a brat, but that mainly expresses itself through being sassy, cocky, the way I might respond to certain things... I don't like to be disobedient, nor do I like to go out of my way doing things that will cause a Dom disappointment or anger, or to provoke a punishment. Doing that legitimately makes me feel bad, guilty, and I avoid it the best I can, and when it happens I am very desperate to show my remorse and I just want to be forgiven.
I always liked doing things the right way, doing what's expected of me and then some more, whether it's kink or something else. I take pride in fulfilling expectations, I enjoy putting green check marks on things and getting good grades, I enjoy doing the right thing, always.
So to find myself repeatedly landing myself a punishment, repeatedly having to admit to rule breakage, is not only out of character but also extremely embarrassing. A first admission is already shameful enough, making a second mistake right after being punished is beyond humiliating, and I couldn't believe me when that happened another time, I just wanted to hide, how was I going to admit to that ? I didn't like what it made me look like at all, I wanted to keep it to myself, which is also so unlike me, I'm very honest. This is what cum control does to me.
I always liked doing things the right way, doing what's expected of me and then some more, whether it's kink or something else. I take pride in fulfilling expectations, I enjoy putting green check marks on things and getting good grades, I enjoy doing the right thing, always.
So to find myself repeatedly landing myself a punishment, repeatedly having to admit to rule breakage, is not only out of character but also extremely embarrassing. A first admission is already shameful enough, making a second mistake right after being punished is beyond humiliating, and I couldn't believe me when that happened another time, I just wanted to hide, how was I going to admit to that ? I didn't like what it made me look like at all, I wanted to keep it to myself, which is also so unlike me, I'm very honest. This is what cum control does to me.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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You really have to stop beating yourself up like this. Yes, I can see the remorse in your apology, that comes thru loud and clear, but I also see maybe you were set up to fail. Orgasm control takes time, especially with a new Dom. Every time I take on a new sub or slave, I have to be retrained to get used to her limits. If I push too hard, it will always result in failure, but I feel the failure is mine, not my sub's. I failed to properly "read" my sub's limits, so there is a shared blame. Unfortunately, it is the sub alone that usually suffers the consequences, and we both try to do better next time. All new dynamics have a learning curve, and it takes two to make it work. Give it time. It will happen. You seem like a great sub, so best of luck.
Posted 06-03-2023 at 04:33 AM by FrostbittenSoul -
Wait if you think I keep beating myself up partly because of this previous blog : https://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?bt=163310
This one wasn't so much a vent, it was a humiliation task meant to earn my orgasm, I came up with it too.
Otherwise thanks for your nice words and sharing your experience.Posted 06-03-2023 at 06:11 AM by pluky -
Quote:Wait if you think I keep beating myself up partly because of this previous blog : https://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?bt=163310
This one wasn't so much a vent, it was a humiliation task meant to earn my orgasm, I came up with it too.
Otherwise thanks for your nice words and sharing your experience.Posted 06-03-2023 at 06:23 AM by FrostbittenSoul