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Report on my first session with a new Dom

Posted 05-29-2023 at 01:46 AM by pluky
Updated 05-31-2023 at 05:25 AM by pluky

Yesterday started my week of trial with a new Dom. We discussed the terms of this perticular form of a DS that I needed to fit my current situation for what seemed like a whole day, and I found myself sometimes in a hurry for these preludes to be over, yet when we got to that point, I started wanting them to go on for a bit, I think I was a bit intimidated and scared to dive into it : I really wanted it to work but my feelings have been my worse ennemy the last couple months, I couldn't let go of my previous DS that I enjoyed so much, I couldn't open up again and trust the process, I couldn't get in touch with my submissive side and give other Doms the benefit of the doubt. But this time it felt right, it felt like it could be the person who might make me feel those things again, I wanted to trust, I wanted to open up, I wanted to loosen up and give in...

With my guards still up, full of apprehension and doubts, I pushed myself to just comply, I told myself just obey, and you'll start to feel subby later, just like the first time. And the Dom started to make me feel the way I wanted, he was ordering me around to inspect me and I started to feel owned, objectified, disciplined, and a tool of someone else's pleasure.

My defense mechanisms were still not allowing me to fully submit yet, and that expressed itself in the shape of sassy humor that was a way for me I think to assert myself and escape the sub role for a second, but I was repeatedly put back in my place and even a bit severely scolded at one point, I don't really know if I deserved it tbh it was a good joke, I think it's a waste to not crack a good joke when there's an opportunity for it but anyway that's besides the point... admittedly it wasn't very subby of me. Yet it all contributed in helping me enter my Subspace more, testing a Dom's limits even if unconsciously can be a good way to feel his control, I felt like he wasn't going to let me get away with things and that was a step for me towards the Subspace holy grail.

As a brat I get a thrill out of just teasing lightly and being a bit annoying on purpose, and then getting told off and being disciplined is just the cherry on top of the cake, it made me feel all sorts of emotions from fear to arousal and I was soaking wet.

I didn't love that the punishment I was threatened with was something so unbearable for me, for such a small offense too (at least to me it was small), but that just made me take it seriously, I really didn't want to feel that pain, but I also didn't want to screw things up now that they were working for once, or call a safe word over a punishment, so suddenly behaving seemed like a better option.

I think it was the first time in this trial that I sounded legitimately submissive when I apologized profusely and pleaded with my Dom to forgive me without a punishment for this once, I just wanted to get away with it and that made me forget my ego and my reserves for a second and fully act like a pathetic submissive. I just feel pathetic when I act so lowly to someone who's still a stranger to me, I need a lot of time before being comfortable with making myself inferior to someone.

All of this and then various other things led me to be unbearably aroused and I was touching myself at many points during the exchange, inspection, session, ... not sure what to call it. The strokes brought me to an edge a few times without me really planning to, if I had known I wouldn't be allowed to cum I would have tried to avoid caressing my pussy to not make it harder, but I was already so close to a climax when the restrictions were announced to me, fuck !

I hate being denied when I'm aroused, I was ready to do almost anything to avoid it, when usually I would have just chosen disobedience and dealing with the consequences later, I remembered the terrible threat of clit pain as punishment earlier, I remembered my options, I neither wanted to be punished, nor wanted to screw things up by not complying with the punishments after offending, nor did I want to stay denied in the state of absolute mess my pussy was in !

I was offered to do something to earn my orgasm, which ended up being writing a humiliating blog post about myself in addition to 20 mn of clothespins on my nipples, initially my idea was to do one or the other, and I ended up having to do both, but I was in such a state of arousal , it seemed like a fair deal, I wasn't going to go to sleep without an orgasm anyway.

I quietly lied down on my bed with clothespins on my nipples after being done with the first part of the deal, and tried to get in touch with my submissive side and remember what it's like to just do something because you're told to do it and even tho you're not enjoying it. Those 20 minutes felt like forever. My nipples hurt so badly, they had quite a few sessions of clothespins this week, and even tho they don't necessarily look sore, they are, it hurts in such deep penetrating way, and I tried to resist the temptation of rearranging them in a way that hurts me less, I tried to just take it as it is.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Azyliux's Avatar
    Such an excellent reflection on the start of a new dynamic!

    Good luck with it.
    Posted 05-29-2023 at 03:34 AM by Azyliux Azyliux is online now
  2. Old Comment
    Wow, that's quite a detailed and honest(At least that's what I am assuming) blog on your trial for a new dynamic. Good luck to you. Hope you have a successful trial and find the dom you are looking for��.
    Posted 05-29-2023 at 06:05 AM by dave_richard dave_richard is offline
 

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