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Breaking point

Posted 10-03-2021 at 08:19 AM by Cassandra

It has been over a decade ago when I was in a session with my husband, bend over a bar stool, being spanked with a crop on my ass cheeks. Stupid me was thinking I could make my husband stop smoking by asking to be hit until he did. Well, I cried and he stopped, not necessarily in that order. I had somehow reached by breaking point, giving me an epiphany about everybody making their own choices. Little spoiler here, he stopped on his own years later. Anyway, my husband had been a great top and stopped the session, taking great aftercare on me.

As a switch, I have learned how often and easily a sub can misjudge what they are capable to take, and what not. A high arousal like we can have from our kinks like chastity can fog our minds quite much. So as a top, you need to look out for that, and besides being strict and consequentially, also remain the voice of reason whenever needed.

One day, I lost a game for the forfeit of starting an add thread, so I did. The thread attracted many people to add, and add quite a lot. Partly, I was so aroused by the attention I worsened the rules so I ended up with tens of thousands of deepthroats to complete. Quite some training, but I managed to do them within a few months. The thing with add threads is, similar to PM dares, that compared to a session or relationship, there's no single top clearly responsible for taking care. Usually, when I run an add thread or start a promise in the Add thread free for all, I put myself up for having others decide how little or much I'll do of those tasks offered to add. It's incredibly difficult to estimate and impossible to predict the outcome. Despite being cautious about the amounts, with my recent promise it went into amounts of millions, impossible to achieve. But this was also due to a rule of mine being badly phrased so numbers grew exponentially. I felt quite relieved when I decided to go for an easier interpretation of the rule. Still, I got some numbers I already announced that I am unsure about to complete. I prefer to stick to my promises, as best as I can. But that's it, as best as I can. Life is way more thank sex and kink, and it clearly has priority. That's why a hotfix of the rules or just a resign to what’s impossible is as important as obedience. And sometimes, others have to point that out to me.

On the other hand, that also means I am quite suspicious when an add thread or promise has a quite a harsh set up almost guaranteeing way to high numbers, especially when it's the first one from that user. Usually, I recommend beginners to start small. But I guess I am also a bad idol for that.
After people already completed added tasks, that's indication that they will complete future tasks added by others and me. I am even more trustful if some kind of top or partner in crime is involved who can more easily step in and change the rules for good.

Everybody has a breaking point. We need to watch and care for each other before and in case one of us reaches it.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    SissyDiaper<3er's Avatar
    You used the magic word. The most important thing in any Dom/sub relationship: "Care"

    Beautifully exposed and explained. Thank you very much

    Have fun, stay safe, and take care.
    Posted 10-03-2021 at 09:32 AM by SissyDiaper<3er SissyDiaper<3er is offline
  2. Old Comment
    FrostbittenSoul's Avatar
    Every thread looking for tasks ... punishments ... or dares should always include a safe word just like in the real world ... and when it becomes too much ... that safe word should be uttered without the fear of punishment or retribution.

    When it all comes down to it ... the sub/slave is responsible for their own safe ... you always have a safe word even if you're with someone you trust ... why wouldn't you also have it when giving up control to a hoard of strangers?

    A safe word is something we all understand and respect ... (or at least we all should).
    Posted 10-03-2021 at 09:55 AM by FrostbittenSoul FrostbittenSoul is online now
  3. Old Comment
    Manarus's Avatar
    Absolutely!

    (gD says my message is too short, I however think it is quite the right length)
    Posted 10-03-2021 at 01:14 PM by Manarus Manarus is offline
 

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