Chronically Frustrated Slave (CFS)

Chronic Frustration

Don't worry it's not another denial blog! I suppose now seems as good a time as any to talk about something that makes me even more frustrated; chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS also called myalgic encephalomyelitis or ME). It's a life-altering condition that has prevented me from starting work after University, leaves me unable to do even simple daily tasks and makes my life hellish.

So what it is?

Well as the name suggests it makes me feel exhausted near constantly, to the point that I have to nap most days as I'm simply unable to keep going. It also leaves me extremely nauseous after any physical exertion (even household chores or short walks can set me off). For someone in their 20's, who should be in the prime of their life, it's hard not to get depressed about the situation; particularly as there's no cure and not even an agreed treatment plan (and certainly the ones I've tried haven't worked for me). To say an estimated 1 million people suffer with it daily in America alone precious little is understood about its causes, and more crucially from my point of view, it's treatment.

Four years after starting with it I have been rather forced to take a step back from things I used to enjoy, such as playing sports, which has unsurprisingly affected my overall fitness. I've been told quite a few times that I need to exercise more but getting the motivation to do that when it's near certain to make me ill has proved difficult. However, it's got to a point that even I can't deny the negative long-term effect of lack of exercise outweighs the short-term nausea/tiredness cost and I'm only likely to be causing more headaches for myself by avoiding it.

So what's it got to do with kinks?

Around 6 months ago I started serving sexyred92 and generally embracing my more kinky side after trying to conceal/ignore it for many years. The effect on my chronic fatigue has been minimal (as you might expect actually a few more exerting tasks can make me feel ill but I certainly don't complain about it). I may not have stumbled on the treatment that eludes the medical profession but I have found a way that lessens the mood dips that often accompany a worsening of my condition. Kink life provides a distracting escape for my often tortured mind where it can simply enjoy itself...often by torturing myself More than that though it makes me happy The last 6 months even those close to me have noted that I've seen happier and I've often caught myself humming a tuneless tune to myself. (It's not perfect though, this last month I've been in a pit of miserableness as I've just been soo tired). I'm far more content generally though. and exploring kinks have certainly helped deal with the mental side of chronic fatigue, if not the physical...yet.

I've recently started using kinks to try to combat my lack of exercise. Getting self-motivated has proved near impossible but being told to do it is far more appealing to my silly subby brain. Indeed part of the motivation for this blog is to provide a little background as I "attack" 2 tasks given to me, a little fitness regime and lots of minor hidden public time (walking outside in panties while adding additional kink things like butt plugs & bondage under clothes).

I'm currently suffering on just day 3 of the regime and seem unlikely to get in all my time today having also struggled along getting in enough panty walking over the past months. Although this is frustrating the little I have done is real, if small, progress and the tasks are such that I don't feel any undue pressure to rush them especially if that means making myself ill. So I'm not any less chronically frustrated thanks to kinks but I do feel in a better place to deal with it, as well as it providing a stepping stone to a generally more healthy lifestyle with a little more exercise which I'm hoping will stave off more health issues in the future.