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Edge Play: Being Risky

Posted 09-14-2022 at 05:55 PM by Butterfly

This blog was inspired by a conversation in the comments section of another recently posted blog.

I want to talk about edge play.

Edge play, like most terms, can be different for everybody. However, I would define it as playing with something that is super risky, or close to the boundaries of what would be defined as "taboo" even to the majority of kinksters. Some examples I would include would be:
  • rape play
  • breath play
  • knife play
  • needles, piercings or other body modifications
  • fear play
  • consentual non consent
  • mind fucks
  • intoxication
  • etc.

Now, all kink carries risks. Rope bondage can cause nerve damage, wax play can cause burns, anal play can cause tears/bleeding. However, edge play specifically carries a bigger risk; both physically and mentally.

Does that mean we shouldn't indulge in edge play? No! It just means that you need to be more aware and better prepared.

A lot of people talk about SSC when it comes to BDSM and kink. SSC stands for Sane, Safe, Consensual. In other words: Is our kinky thing sane to do? Is it safe to do? Do you consent?

That is all well and good, but some might argue that none of BDSM is sane. Why would we allow somebody to hit us until we bruise, or call us horrible names and tear us down?

That is why I play to RACK: Risk Aware Consentual Kink. This means that research has been done, you are aware of possible consequences, and you are consenting to the activity with that knowledge.

The onus of RACK is on each individual kinkster. It doesn't matter which side of the slash you find yourself on, you are responsible for your own safety and making sure that you are aware of the major risks.

Once you know what the major risks are, you can do your best to minimize the risk. This includes general things like negotiating thoroughly, communication, building trust before play ... as well as things like being educated on nerves and proper tying technique, or how to properly handle a knife, having first aid supplies on hand if something does go wrong, or having adequate and proper aftercare planned.

Of course there are always unknown risks as well (ie who would have predicted that Sandra would trip over the rope and break her arm or that Joe would shoot the butt plug out of his ass and hit Andrew in the eye!). Being aware that there ARE risks is important.

Everybody is going to have their own limits. These limits can be defined by our past experiences or traumas, our current situation, fear of what might happen, or just not being willing to accept the possible risks. That is totally ok!!!!

For me, breathplay is not within my risk profile. It is something that I find so intensely hot when I watch it in porn, but as a Domme, I don't think I can have my partners life in my hands to that extent. It is just not something I am willing to fuck around with. I have also been sexually assaulted in the past. For this reason, I don't think I could ever engage in rape play neither as a Sub or Domme. It is something that is too triggering for me. However, I know a lot of people who have had very successful and hot scenes involving different elements of breath play or rape play.

Everybody's risk profile is different. We are all comfortable with different amounts of edge play and risk. As long as they are not harming somebody in a way that was not consented to by both parties, then we have no right to tell somebody they can't do something. We can provide advice, or help discuss the risks involved, but overstepping is not going to accomplish anything. At the end of the day, each person involved needs to access the risk and make their own decisions.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    lotusdriver81's Avatar
    All very good advice. I like the RACK idea, not that I would probably get into a situation to need it. Its still interesting to read. What I was thinking is also being aware (if you are a Dom) that someone may not be in a position to make a sane judgement for themselves.
    Posted 09-15-2022 at 11:31 AM by lotusdriver81 lotusdriver81 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    BellaBambi's Avatar
    Great advice Miss Butterfly. So much of kink is personal to the individuals involved, as long as both parties have discussed and considered the risk.

    On another note - what a great list - I want to try ALL of those things. All of them!
    (apart from the body modification because, my body has been modified enough for one lifetime thanks)

    Seems like I have a lot of studying to do... xxx
    Posted 09-16-2022 at 08:49 AM by BellaBambi BellaBambi is offline
 

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