A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Using my Domme powers for good
Posted 06-18-2021 at 08:32 PM by Butterfly
Most of the time I like to use my Domme powers for evil; I will make my subs drink their pee (or boil it and make spaghetti from it), slap their balls, or deny their orgasms for an entire year (poor Jaro!). However, over the last few weeks, I had the opportunity in both of my long term relationships to use my Domme powers for good.
It is my duty as a Domme to protect my subs and put their health and welfare first. Sometimes that means making tough decisions. I hold myself to a pretty high standard which puts me in a tough position sometimes because I want to do what is best for my subs, while also balancing their physical and mental health along with both of kinky needs.
I have been with Jaro for almost five years so I have a significant amount of power over his life, but I have even more love for him. So it broke my heart to see him struggling when his grandfather passed away a few weeks ago. He woke up the next morning and intended to start work and my immediate gut reaction was "No!" I didn't think that he should be working. And so, I gave the order that he was not allowed to work. He was to take a mental health day and call in to work. Of course he wasn't too happy with this order at first, but he is very obedient little worm and he listened and did as I said.
In a similar situation, Gerbil has found himself very busy with work and family recently. But in a sudden twist of events, he found himself home alone for a weekend. Before he had the opportunity to schedule a lot of things or get the idea in his head to spend the time cleaning or doing household chores, I laid down the law: I ordered him to take one full day to rest. He was not allowed to do any form of chores, he wasn't even allowed to cook. He was to order in take away, he was to play video games, he could socialize but he was to only do self care type activities. He needed a day to recharge.
Both of these cases were tough because while I am in control of Jaro and Gerbil, there are limits to my power. While they have very few limits with me (we may even often toy with the phrase "no limits") I feel that there are certain parts of their life that I shouldn't encroach on - and their professional and family life are two of the biggest. So at the time I struggled. I had an internal struggle where I went back and forth, not sure whether I should make that order or not, but in the end, I did it.
Of course I checked in with them afterwards about the decision, and both of them thanked me after. Me making that decision actually took the pressure away from them. They knew that the choice that I made was the right choice for them at the time, but they had felt obligated to make a different choice. I took that obligation away from them and relieved them from that guilt. I get that, I do the same thing as a sub and partner. Just today I was pushing myself past my physical limitations in order to meet expectations that I was putting on myself, and I needed my my partners to take those obligations away from me.
So yeah, kink is a lot of fun and it's hot when I get to be scary and evil, but for me, the magic truly happens when I get to use my power for good; When I get to relieve my subs of a mental burden, and free them of something that is weighing them down.
It is my duty as a Domme to protect my subs and put their health and welfare first. Sometimes that means making tough decisions. I hold myself to a pretty high standard which puts me in a tough position sometimes because I want to do what is best for my subs, while also balancing their physical and mental health along with both of kinky needs.
I have been with Jaro for almost five years so I have a significant amount of power over his life, but I have even more love for him. So it broke my heart to see him struggling when his grandfather passed away a few weeks ago. He woke up the next morning and intended to start work and my immediate gut reaction was "No!" I didn't think that he should be working. And so, I gave the order that he was not allowed to work. He was to take a mental health day and call in to work. Of course he wasn't too happy with this order at first, but he is very obedient little worm and he listened and did as I said.
In a similar situation, Gerbil has found himself very busy with work and family recently. But in a sudden twist of events, he found himself home alone for a weekend. Before he had the opportunity to schedule a lot of things or get the idea in his head to spend the time cleaning or doing household chores, I laid down the law: I ordered him to take one full day to rest. He was not allowed to do any form of chores, he wasn't even allowed to cook. He was to order in take away, he was to play video games, he could socialize but he was to only do self care type activities. He needed a day to recharge.
Both of these cases were tough because while I am in control of Jaro and Gerbil, there are limits to my power. While they have very few limits with me (we may even often toy with the phrase "no limits") I feel that there are certain parts of their life that I shouldn't encroach on - and their professional and family life are two of the biggest. So at the time I struggled. I had an internal struggle where I went back and forth, not sure whether I should make that order or not, but in the end, I did it.
Of course I checked in with them afterwards about the decision, and both of them thanked me after. Me making that decision actually took the pressure away from them. They knew that the choice that I made was the right choice for them at the time, but they had felt obligated to make a different choice. I took that obligation away from them and relieved them from that guilt. I get that, I do the same thing as a sub and partner. Just today I was pushing myself past my physical limitations in order to meet expectations that I was putting on myself, and I needed my my partners to take those obligations away from me.
So yeah, kink is a lot of fun and it's hot when I get to be scary and evil, but for me, the magic truly happens when I get to use my power for good; When I get to relieve my subs of a mental burden, and free them of something that is weighing them down.
Total Comments 14
Comments
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I really appreciated you making that decision for me Miss. It was indeed a good decision. But I also appreciate in general the freedom I still have on making decisions.
It's great to know and also educate people that D/s is not always just about slapping balls and denying orgasms. It can be about anything and sometimes it is just really helpful if someone else makes your decisions for you.
Especially if you are a brainless slut like me....Posted 06-18-2021 at 08:43 PM by Jaro 
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Great resonsibility shown to be in the good hands.
Posted 06-19-2021 at 01:02 PM by CSasha
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That is such an awesome thing to read. Those subs are blessed to have you in their lives.
Posted 06-19-2021 at 01:26 PM by Clueless19863
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aww lovely! I hope both Jaro and Gerbil are feeling better after their relaxing days!
These are my favourite type of orders to receive I think, the ones where initially there may be resistance but when you do obey its replaced by a warm and fussy cared for feeling! rather than a sexy drippy feeling lol xPosted 06-19-2021 at 02:21 PM by LittleMissSass
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Being a Dom/me and having that power really puts one in a position of responsibility. I see so many wanna-be Dom/mes that don't understand that it's not all kinky fun and games. It makes me happy to see people who understand this and I'm glad you shared your story, hopefully it helps others see the true meaning of being a great Dom/me.
Posted 06-19-2021 at 06:07 PM by EmmaBlack3662
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It's a hard line to straddle. But balance is key. I'm glad I was able to help provide some comfort. It always sucks to see somebody you care about hurting and you can't do anything to help. Even more so when that person is a brainless, helpless, little slut ....Quote:Originally Posted by Jaro
I really appreciated you making that decision for me Miss. It was indeed a good decision. But I also appreciate in general the freedom I still have on making decisions.
It's great to know and also educate people that D/s is not always just about slapping balls and denying orgasms. It can be about anything and sometimes it is just really helpful if someone else makes your decisions for you.
Especially if you are a brainless slut like me....Posted 06-19-2021 at 08:33 PM by Butterfly
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Thank you, that is such a nice thing to sayQuote:Originally Posted by Clueless19863
That is such an awesome thing to read. Those subs are blessed to have you in their lives.
Posted 06-19-2021 at 08:33 PM by Butterfly
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Haha! Yes! Being all hot and wet and bothered is wonderful but feeling warm and fuzzy and cared for is so much better ❤️Quote:Originally Posted by LittleMissSass
aww lovely! I hope both Jaro and Gerbil are feeling better after their relaxing days!
These are my favourite type of orders to receive I think, the ones where initially there may be resistance but when you do obey its replaced by a warm and fussy cared for feeling! rather than a sexy drippy feeling lol xPosted 06-19-2021 at 08:34 PM by Butterfly
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Thank you. I like to write about these types of things in the hopes that people can see what kink can really do.Quote:Originally Posted by EmmaBlack3662
Being a Dom/me and having that power really puts one in a position of responsibility. I see so many wanna-be Dom/mes that don't understand that it's not all kinky fun and games. It makes me happy to see people who understand this and I'm glad you shared your story, hopefully it helps others see the true meaning of being a great Dom/me.
Posted 06-19-2021 at 08:37 PM by Butterfly
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You're really a great person at heart. Yes, these are the things that power exchange can and does provide. As a Dom, you're able to be somewhat disconnected and can see the forest vs. the trees that Jaro and Gerbil see while going thru loss or daily activities. I've known you and Jaro for years and know he feels he is lucky to have you. I do not know Gerbil, but assume those feelings are present as well. Thanks for sharing and being a great mentor.Posted 06-21-2021 at 12:01 PM by b69
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Thank you for posting this. It's not often brought up that when someone takes a dominant role, one of care and responsibility, over another, seeing them go through painful circumstances, or take action that harms themselves, can be a painful process in itself, and takes energy. A connection goes both ways.Posted 06-23-2021 at 07:54 AM by StrawDog
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Thank you. These are very kind words. It can be very helpful sometimes to have an inside look and be able to look at things with a level head. I honestly just try my best to do what is best for the people I care about.Quote:Originally Posted by b69
You're really a great person at heart. Yes, these are the things that power exchange can and does provide. As a Dom, you're able to be somewhat disconnected and can see the forest vs. the trees that Jaro and Gerbil see while going thru loss or daily activities. I've known you and Jaro for years and know he feels he is lucky to have you. I do not know Gerbil, but assume those feelings are present as well. Thanks for sharing and being a great mentor.
Posted 06-24-2021 at 12:13 PM by Butterfly
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It can be so hard! Even though I'm the one in control, I can often feel helpless so it's nice when I can put that control to use and make something good happen.Quote:Originally Posted by StrawDog
Thank you for posting this. It's not often brought up that when someone takes a dominant role, one of care and responsibility, over another, seeing them go through painful circumstances, or take action that harms themselves, can be a painful process in itself, and takes energy. A connection goes both ways.
Posted 06-24-2021 at 12:14 PM by Butterfly
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Yes, and with any control, it's control to a point; I've had to step back from people I care deeply about, because whilst they may submit to all sorts of things sexually, there's a resistance to change harmful behaviours that one cannot stand uselessly by and watch.Quote:Originally Posted by Butterfly
It can be so hard! Even though I'm the one in control, I can often feel helpless so it's nice when I can put that control to use and make something good happen.
That you've built such a level of closeness to have that authority and concerns listened to is beautiful thing.Posted 06-24-2021 at 02:48 PM by StrawDog
