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Shit happens ....

Posted 08-11-2022 at 01:59 PM by Butterfly

*This blog is NOT about anal!*

For the past two weeks I have been exploring with a new sub. Empty is super sweet, incredibly adorable and dare I say - a bigger brat that me!

At the beginning of the week we added some starter rules and things have been pretty exciting. A slow build ...

Although we did a small little chat play session last week, and we have spoken on the phone a few times, we hadn't had an official play session yet. Today was the day!

Even though I was super excited to play, Empty had been feeling pretty sluggish and unproductive for a few days. I had told Empty that she needed to put in her best effort at being productive and completing items on her to do list. Otherwise, we would just be having a regular old phone call. I further motivated her by saying that if I saw enough effort, she could earn an orgasm at the end of our play session, but if not ... a very teased, denied and desperate little Dory (my nickname for her) puddle would be left.

This morning I woke up and was so proud that Empty had done a fantastic job on her to do list. I confirmed that we were getting to play! I sent the list of items that I wanted prepared and we were ready to go.

When I have a first session with a sub, I like to let them know that I expect them to use their safewords at any point they feel they are needed. I don't want them to second guess, or hesitate. Safewords are meant to be used. I stress this a lot, especially at the beginning of a new relationship. I need to know that a safeword will be used. Because of this, I will sometimes throw a few instructions in to our first session in order to make my sub safeword. Nothing crazy, but maybe holding an ice cube in your fist until you just can't anymore. After stressing this again to Empty, I started to give her instructions.

First we used her brand new clover clamps. Hearing he whimper in pain was absolutely delicious. Since she did such a good job, I allowed her to play with her little clit. The pain must not have been too bad because she moaned her way to a little edge.

I had asked her to bring along her beautiful rainbow dildo. Empty struggles at times with penetration so I asked her to only put it in as much as she was able. I loved hearing her noises as she stretched herself for me. However, the dildo provided a bit of logistic trouble when we wanted to use her new suction toy. I had her remove it and we focused on making her clit feel good.

Just as she found the right spot and her moaning increased, she stopped and said "Miss, there is blood everywhere". Immediately I went into caregiver mode. I asked her what she needed in order to clean up. Her response was "RED". I was so proud of her for using the safeword. Immediately she felt bad, and started to apologize. I spoke over her and told her "No! Stop! Breathe". We took some time to chat and I reassured her before letting her go get cleaned up and maybe take a look at what was causing the bleeding.

When she returned, we spoke for a little while longer. I continued to reassure her. Using the safeword is important. This was not her fault. It wasn't even my fault. Shit happens, blood happens, injuries happen! As much as I am the Domme and supposed to be in control, that isn't always the case. There are so many external forces that we have to contend with.

One of my jobs as a Domme is to know that; to plan that the plan might not go as planned. I will never be upset with my sub if the plan has to change. I have backups, or can make amendments at any time. Our first session didn't go as planned, we didn't even get to finish, but that's ok! We have next time, and the time after that ... we have as long as we want to explore together and make magic happen.

Shit happens! But we can deal with it.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    emptyjug's Avatar
    Aww Miss Butterfly, I knew you found me adorable!! And I don’t know what you’re talking about with being a brat, I’m clearly an angel!

    You took such good care of me when I was rudely flung out of the subby-headspace I was sinking into! Even though it wasn’t quite the session we’d hoped for, it was definitely a memorable one and I’m looking forward to when we can eventually have a full phone play time !
    Posted 08-11-2022 at 02:08 PM by emptyjug emptyjug is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Manarus's Avatar
    I also have injured myself while doing some dares. Nothing too bad, luckily, but when you are bleeding you should stop and care about your wounds. And learn for the next time. It's nobodies fault, some parts and some people are just a bit more sensitive than others. Shit happens, as you say.
    Posted 08-11-2022 at 02:16 PM by Manarus Manarus is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar
    I'm sorry this didn't go as planned. Still, you might still call this play session a success since you learned that the safe word WILL be used if necessary. You both learned that you can trust each other to communicate when something goes awry. I think this is a win.

    I hope you are okay now though!
    And I do hope next play time will go better, but I'm pretty sure it will!
    Posted 08-11-2022 at 08:26 PM by Jaro Jaro is offline
    Updated 08-11-2022 at 08:31 PM by Jaro
  4. Old Comment
    slaveger's Avatar
    Miss Butterfly, you are so right. You stopped and did the only right thing.. and gave much care and a safty feeling to your sub. You seem to be an amazing dom on that topic.

    I hope for empty that she heal fast and that you will have fun soon
    Posted 08-12-2022 at 03:06 PM by slaveger slaveger is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Masterwants's Avatar
    I had a similar situation once, it wasn’t totally unexpected as they hadn’t done any insertions previously. Lots of aftercare made it ok and we worked thought it. Shit happens, important to talk, reset and go again.
    Posted 08-12-2022 at 10:05 PM by Masterwants Masterwants is offline
 

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