Bringing online BDSM a bit closer to reality [II]

I am continuing to see how there are aspects to our behavior that can be felt in phone calls that add another dimension to the exchanges, it should be obvious, but yeah experiencing it is something else. There are things that can be either perceived as fuckups and social awkwardness or appreciated for the layer of spicy emotions and thoughts they add.

It's awesome to feel safe to not be perfect. Come to think of it, it's not really our social awkwardness, our brain farts, our stuttering, or wtv weirdness might come up that feels bad, it's just (or mostly) what people make of it. You'll struggle to believe someone will not judge you, and that they will accept you as you come, until you've seen it, and you might continue to struggle to believe it.

And there's the little things, that most people probably wouldn't think much of, but I don't know if it's because I'm an artist, or into mindful meditation, or socially starved, but those details resonate louder for me.

A moment when I'm suddenly put back in my place by my Dom in a phone call, the harsh contrast of going from talking casually that almost makes me feel like equals, to being slightly humbled, the unusual embrassement for someone that has been comfortable with being a Sub for so long to be reminded that she is, leading my voice to tighten and lose volume to the point of being almost inaudible and having to repeat myself :
- Yes, Sir
- Yes what ?!
- Yes, Sir !

I do wish I was a bit different, if only I was more comfortable talking, if I could feel less awkward saying and doing certain things, and feel less embarrassed, but I've been progressing. I became so much more comfortable with talking to my Dom on phone that one day I had something happen IRL cause me a great deal of panic (+ having my period that day) and the only thing that calmed me down is hearing his voice, and venting to him, like a best friend.