So, yesterday did not go as planned. The boy toy and I had a 'training day' (basically a day of all teasing called something other than a punishment), but through a series of mishaps and mistakes, we cut that day short.

I am continually surprised at how easily Sinister seems to handle my insane mood swings. How he can just drop the domly dom mode and switch into concern dom mode at the drop of a hat. At times, I feel as though he is tired of it, the constant switching. It has to be frustrating...

I've recently started thinking a lot about how I express my bratty side. We joke that I'm the Queen Brat, The Brat of GD, which is a rather accurate description of my behavior. But what is bratty? How am I bratty?

For me, brattiness is a game that can only be played with brat tamers. It's a dance I constantly move to of toeing the line between disobedience and brattiness. How sassy can I be before my boy toy has to finally say fuck it and give me a solid, no nonsense order? We play around...

This is bullshit. Let's get one thing very very clear, there are no 'good subs' and there are no 'bad subs'. There are submissives.

The boy toy thinks I'm an amazing sub, and who knows maybe I am, but I am also a total brat. If you've witnessed our conversations in chat, you might have picked up on this. Of course, he says that makes my subby side so much more special (what a softie), but other Doms might disagree.

I am not what people envision when someone pictures a...

I am horrible at keeping track of it. Time flies has new meaning when applied to my life. I'm constantly amazed at how easily I become distracted, it's a serious problem.

The boy toy and I have been together for two months today. I didn't even really register the time going by, of course, two months isn't that long, but it's long enough for me to feel safe with him. Which, spoilers, does not happen easily. It feels so strange that I've been calling him, 'Sir' for two months. I call him...

Why is that my curt reply of, 'Not interested.' no longer has any meaning? Why is that some creeper's whisper of, 'hey i like ur profile. you want 2 play?' is not shut down with a frigid, 'No. I prefer to talk publicly.'

Why is it that my very clear "No." is no longer accepted? It happens more and more where the only way I can stop unwanted 'doms' from pestering me is by saying I'm already owned.

It's as if it's easier for them to respect someone else's property...

It follows me around all day. My muscles tighten, jaw clenches, heart races. Anxiety fills my veins, making each breath I take icy.

Scenes relax me. Talking to my boy toy, watching Supernatural, hugging my cat, drinking hot chocolate. These things relax me.

Have you ever made a fist so tight that your hand starts to shake? And then relaxed? It's like a relief in your muscles instead of just your mind.

I'm a tense person. I worry and fret about everything,...

If you spend ten minutes in chat you will probably notice how often someone will say something along the lines of, "Looking for someone to punish me. My kik is *insert kik name here*" Now, while this might be somewhat annoying, it's fine to want to find someone to play with.

However, my quarrel is with the casual use of the word 'punishment'. People will also post threads asking for a *like of their choice* punishment and then shoot things down because they don't like them....