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2020, what a roller coaster of a ride!

Posted 08-21-2020 at 06:00 AM by Foxy Rose
Updated 08-20-2020 at 11:23 AM by Foxy Rose

When I went into 2020, in Germany, I didn't think my life would change this much. Guess we all know who to blame for that, yes COVID-19! But, everything has a time and place and a season I guess.

2020 sucked so far

So, when we went into Lockdown, 27th March here in South Africa, I made a promise to myself, that I would support small and local. Because local businesses in our country specifically was about to suffer. So, I became more active on Instagram and eventually found a couple of decent pages.

Before all that happened, and from being inside the house too long, not being able to travel or visit friends and family, not that I'm an extroverted person much, I had a mini breakdown. Not long, but I just got to a point where I got mentally exhausted and just felt tired, more from frustration than anything else, I guess.

I went to work (I worked from home for the first month), came home, spent time with my dad and my doggies. Or sometimes, I went to the shops from work, because we try to limit the amount of time outside the house. Dad is categorized in the high risk bracket to contract Covid-19, so we limit everything as best as we can.

One day, I was so super super low. I saw a message on a page I follow on IG, on her stories, and I contacted the lady. She lives one town over. I received my first "happy mail" and she did so much effort. We've become fast friends.

Happy mail

After I received her mail, I decided to pick myself up, and give back, in what way I didn't know yet. I was speaking to my bestie, who lives on the other side of the country. She was super down. I spoke to her hubby and made a plan to spoil bestie. With the help of this lady from IG, I bought a small box for bestie from her, personalized and everything and I made up a care package from my side side, for bestie too

Made my heart happy to spoil her. She's been in my life for 17 years now, know me through and through. I can't keep anything from that woman, she's the one person who doesn't judge me, not one hair on my body!

So, now I'm making MYSELF happy! I want and need people in my life who want to be here. Who want to see me succeed, who want to motivate me, who want to have a positive impact on my life.

I even started a new skincare routine every morning and evening. Brush my teeth, twice daily now, and then follow with my skincare routine. I've discovered this AMAZING small South African company, woman run business. Not only is the products telling me how gorgeous I am, the products smell good too and are so friendly in many ways.

Guess what it's called

During Lockdown, I feel I've rediscovered myself. I don't wear make-up, normally. I would only do so for work or super special occasions (not that there are many), but only then, it's a little eye shadow, eye liner and mascara and then there are days I'd only wear eye liner and mascara. Since returning to work, and thanks to Lockdown, I've discovered I don't need nor want to wear make up. I don't even remember the last time I wore make up.

My life is starting at 35, accepting myself, wholeheartedly Not that everyday is perfect, but I try to be more accepting. I want to feel everything, I allow myself to feel and go through the emotions, accept it and then move on, when it's done and over with.

I've also started clearing out the clutter, unnecessary negativity. Sending out gratitude and positiveness in the world, because it comes back to me, one way or another. I don't know if I've ever thanked every person on here, who I've had contact with in a positive setting. I'm so grateful for each one of you. I've made lifelong friends, even though we might not speak that often anymore, and I've had a few fleeting romantic attachments that impacted my life and my journey, and I carry a special place in my heart for you. I even sometimes think of the first Dom I had on here, the one with the duck pic

And I'm in the middle of a new self-discovery. I had this insane, ineffable experience the other night. Something I have never experienced, with anyone. I really wish to have it again. How can it be possible. No hypnosis but just, energy... Such a hard to to explain to someone, if you didn't experience it yourself.

This song only makes sense to 2 people, and that's how I prefer it

This person, I feel motivated, positive. I want to do things. I want to be better, become better. Not because I was instructed or asked, but because I feel like I want to. I really look forward to this... whatever lies ahead. It's a good feeling, something I haven't had in a very, very long time. Or I think... I can't remember if I had something like this... intense! Definitely ineffable

To define 2020, for me. I received 2 different memes. It loosely translates: yes, no, fuck; and the other fucked but focused. This has truly been a roller coaster 8 months of 2020 BUT now it's time to look forward, to the future and upward and onward!

This first 3 weeks of August, to me, it's been a mood. First, I nearly cut off my finger trying to be cute wanting to surprise my dad with breakfast before he woke up, to things at work being iffy and just the other day to find out, my friend who last month was declared to be Cancer free, is Stage 4 Cancer.

Number 1 & Number 2

I'm done with being and feeling negative and having people just "stagnate" in my life. If you want to be part of it, by all means I'll pull up a chair, make an effort to enjoy your company. It's time to be the forever dreamer and romantic I always was. But I'm here for my person now. And I know, he's just around the corner

I'm BIG, I'm bold, I'm not changing for anyone anymore. Want me? Prove it, show me, accept me 100% This is the best way to end the blog. Words to live by, not only myself, but every person who feels unwanted, unwelcomed, unloved! This sums it up, pretty much.

Watch this space! <3

Much love,
Foxy Rose
xXx
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar
    What a positive blog in the end. I'm glad you have made positive steps in your life. I wish you well in the future and hope to read more of you here!
    Posted 08-21-2020 at 11:36 PM by Jaro Jaro is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Butterfly's Avatar
    I'm so proud of you ��
    Posted 08-22-2020 at 12:33 AM by Butterfly Butterfly is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Foxy Rose's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jaro View Comment
    What a positive blog in the end. I'm glad you have made positive steps in your life. I wish you well in the future and hope to read more of you here!
    Can't promise anything right now, but just watch this space
    Posted 08-22-2020 at 07:28 AM by Foxy Rose Foxy Rose is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Foxy Rose's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Butterfly View Comment
    I'm so proud of you ��
    You know part of stuff, and I thank you for always giving me the best advice. You have a very very special place in my heart
    Posted 08-22-2020 at 07:29 AM by Foxy Rose Foxy Rose is offline
 

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