A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Moving = STRESSS!!!!!!
I have never been very good at handling stress. As you may have read in my previous blog, when I get overwhelmed I have had some pretty unhealthy ways of dealing with it.
Right now is a very stressful time in my life, but for once it is for positive reasons. As a lot of getDare already knows, I am moving across the country at the end of the month.
I am a very organized person and so I have had lists and charts and calendars and schedules all leading up to the big day which is now 3 weeks away. And these things have helped because I get to be in control and do things my way. But there are some things I just can't control.
I am stressed about the movers. They came and got all my worldly possessions last week. It was stressful to watch them move it all onto the truck and to trust them to move it safely across the country. I cannot control how they handle my stuff, when they arrive, how things go on the other end, and I couldn't control the invoice that we received that is twice as much as we were quoted (which is a whole other area of stress).
I am stressed about saying goodbye to my family and friends. I know I have some ... not so nice characters in my family, but there are a few people I am very close with that will be hard to say goodbye to. I am trying very hard to schedule as much time with them as possible in these last few weeks, but I have been very emotional. I do not feel like I can control my emotions lately. I cry at the drop of a hat, I get grumpy or sad or mad or happy or nostalgic at any given moment. It drives me crazy to not be able to control them.
I am stressed about the drive across the country. It is going to be a 37 hour drive and that isn't including stops. We will be on a tight schedule since we have to arrive within 4 days. I can't control any possible road bumps we will encounter, I can't control how much the gas and hotels will cost, I can't control if I will get car sick, and I can't control how well my cousin (who is 11) is going to handle the long trip.
I am stressed about everything at my new home being completed. I know it has been very busy on the other end as well, trying to get the new carpet in and walls painted, and hoping the movers will arrive on time to get all my stuff unloaded before I leave. I know that when I get there I will have to work as hard as I can in order to get some control and order back into my life. Unpacking and having everything where it should go will really help. But I can't control all of the things that need to be done before I can get to that point.
I am stressed about finding a job when I get there. Right now I have basically depleted my savings and have gone into debt to make this move happen. I know a few of you have donated very graciously to our gofundme account in order to help make the move less stressful for us, and for all of you I am so grateful and thankful. But the thought of getting there and not being able to find a job right away really stresses me out. I have been searching already these past few weeks, but it is hard to ask for a job 2 months away without being able to go in for an interview. I can't control the job market, or the individuals who are in charge of hiring once I get there.
I am stressed because this is a HUGE risk. I am moving across the country, spending a bunch of money, leaving friends and family, to start a new life. There is a lot of unknowns and it is scary! I am scared.
I know I am a sub, and so I am supposed to like giving up control, but maybe it is my need to control everything that makes being a submissive so appealing to me. But the source of my stress right now all stems from me not being in control.
And I don't know how to make it better. Like I said, I have had unhealthy ways of dealing with stress in the past, and I don't want to go back to those, especially because I know this is good stress. This is all going to be very worth it! I know it will! But it is still hard. And it isn't as easy as saying "don't worry about it" because I do anyways.
I am also the type of person who thinks of the worse case scenario so that I can be pleasantly surprised when everything turns out better. So telling me to think positive doesn't help either. It is just the way I have always been, in order to stop myself from being let down or disappointed by people or life.
I am stressed and I am scared and I want time to speed up, but also slow down. Mostly I want to skip ahead 2 months and just know that everything is going to be alright and it is all going to be worth it ...
Right now is a very stressful time in my life, but for once it is for positive reasons. As a lot of getDare already knows, I am moving across the country at the end of the month.
I am a very organized person and so I have had lists and charts and calendars and schedules all leading up to the big day which is now 3 weeks away. And these things have helped because I get to be in control and do things my way. But there are some things I just can't control.
I am stressed about the movers. They came and got all my worldly possessions last week. It was stressful to watch them move it all onto the truck and to trust them to move it safely across the country. I cannot control how they handle my stuff, when they arrive, how things go on the other end, and I couldn't control the invoice that we received that is twice as much as we were quoted (which is a whole other area of stress).
I am stressed about saying goodbye to my family and friends. I know I have some ... not so nice characters in my family, but there are a few people I am very close with that will be hard to say goodbye to. I am trying very hard to schedule as much time with them as possible in these last few weeks, but I have been very emotional. I do not feel like I can control my emotions lately. I cry at the drop of a hat, I get grumpy or sad or mad or happy or nostalgic at any given moment. It drives me crazy to not be able to control them.
I am stressed about the drive across the country. It is going to be a 37 hour drive and that isn't including stops. We will be on a tight schedule since we have to arrive within 4 days. I can't control any possible road bumps we will encounter, I can't control how much the gas and hotels will cost, I can't control if I will get car sick, and I can't control how well my cousin (who is 11) is going to handle the long trip.
I am stressed about everything at my new home being completed. I know it has been very busy on the other end as well, trying to get the new carpet in and walls painted, and hoping the movers will arrive on time to get all my stuff unloaded before I leave. I know that when I get there I will have to work as hard as I can in order to get some control and order back into my life. Unpacking and having everything where it should go will really help. But I can't control all of the things that need to be done before I can get to that point.
I am stressed about finding a job when I get there. Right now I have basically depleted my savings and have gone into debt to make this move happen. I know a few of you have donated very graciously to our gofundme account in order to help make the move less stressful for us, and for all of you I am so grateful and thankful. But the thought of getting there and not being able to find a job right away really stresses me out. I have been searching already these past few weeks, but it is hard to ask for a job 2 months away without being able to go in for an interview. I can't control the job market, or the individuals who are in charge of hiring once I get there.
I am stressed because this is a HUGE risk. I am moving across the country, spending a bunch of money, leaving friends and family, to start a new life. There is a lot of unknowns and it is scary! I am scared.
I know I am a sub, and so I am supposed to like giving up control, but maybe it is my need to control everything that makes being a submissive so appealing to me. But the source of my stress right now all stems from me not being in control.
And I don't know how to make it better. Like I said, I have had unhealthy ways of dealing with stress in the past, and I don't want to go back to those, especially because I know this is good stress. This is all going to be very worth it! I know it will! But it is still hard. And it isn't as easy as saying "don't worry about it" because I do anyways.
I am also the type of person who thinks of the worse case scenario so that I can be pleasantly surprised when everything turns out better. So telling me to think positive doesn't help either. It is just the way I have always been, in order to stop myself from being let down or disappointed by people or life.
I am stressed and I am scared and I want time to speed up, but also slow down. Mostly I want to skip ahead 2 months and just know that everything is going to be alright and it is all going to be worth it ...
Total Comments 2
Comments
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I love you, butterfly! And I've been missing you!
Moving sucks, I know all about it. And moving across the country sucks even more. Leaving your friends and family? Sucks. Moving costs? Sucks. Stress? Sucks. Super long drives? Suck.
But guess what? You're going through all of
this to spend your life with your best friend. That doesn't suck. You're bringing your cousin along for the ride. That doesn't suck. You get the opportunity to make new friends. That is FUN! You also get the opportunity to change/grow without a lot of judgement from
people who think they know you. That is AWESOME. I am SO excited for you! Even if I had the Power, I wouldn't fast forward time right now for you. Want to know why? Because you're going to learn from this experience and come out STRONGER and even more fabulous than before.Posted 06-03-2015 at 06:04 PM by eivins 
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And there I was yesterday, telling you to think positively. *facepalms*
You know what? I'll do the positive thinking for you, how about that? Because I know things will turn out alright. I know it, deep inside. Two months from now, you'll be so happy to live with Mr. Devious!
Stress is natural. It's no wonder that you're stressed out of your mind right now! All in all, you're probably dealing with it better than I would. It's not nothing to do all of this, I'd freak out too! But you're doing it. You're so strong! I admire you!Posted 06-04-2015 at 03:50 AM by drwarschauu
