Is it even worth it?

*please note that this blog has been written over a few days and so it may be disjointed*

Is the pain even worth it?

I met my sloth this week. It was so magical (more blogs to come, most likely). We had 4 amazing days together. It exceeded all of my expectations.

I haven't felt this much of a spark with a Dom since I met Mr. Devious. It is so scary but wonderful. I loved every minute of our time together until ...

It was time to say goodbye.

There was a black cloud hanging over our heads for hours beforehand. It was the part I had been dreading even before I met him. After being in his arms, hearing him say he loves me in person, and laughing together, it was even harder than I imagined to think about him driving away. But time was flying and we were losing daylight.

It was time for him to go. I couldn't even watch. I had to turn away as he walked out the door. As soon as I heard the click, I collapsed into an ugly cry. My heart broke. I needed my slothy back.

I had a few moments that I regretted meeting him. It just hurt so much. I was so sad.

Or course I didn't meant that. After a few days, I still have a sloth sized hole in my heart (and my bed) but I also know that I absolutely wouldn't trade meeting him for the world.

Long distance sucks. Timezones suck. But the connection and the love is very much worth it. But missing him still sucks.

I'll be back home in a few days. We will readjust but going back to online play after feeling his hands on me is going to be hard. Going back to online aftercare after having him cuddle me while I float back to work is going to be terrible.

Hmpf. I don't wanna ....