A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Looking for a new sub!
Posted 06-06-2018 at 05:22 PM by Butterfly
Are you confused? Me too!!!
I don't recall ever posting an ad looking for a sub. I don't remember ever telling anybody that I needed to find another outlet for my Domme side ... maybe I fell and bumped my head and I forgot???
Do you remember me saying that? No? Hmm ...
It just doesn't make any sense.
50% of the people who reply to my ad end up asking me to be their Domme. For some this happens right away .. maybe they just don't know how to read. I really do feel bad for them. I mean in this day and age reading is SUPER important. How can you find the porn you like if you don't know how to read?
The worst is the people who pretend they want to be my Dom, and then after some time chatting they start to ask me questions about how I Domme, or what types of tasks I give to Jaro. They get off on knowing the things I make him do. But when that thrill is not enough, they scrape up all their courage and hit me with the big question: "I know you have Jaro, but are you interested in maybe taking me on as another sub?".
Why do they think they are the exception? What makes them special?
I am NOT interested in taking on another sub. Why? Well not that I owe you an explanation ... but ...
1. I am a very busy person
I have a full time job which I work at 5 days a week. I have a husband who I love and enjoy spending time with. I have a house that requires cleaning and maintenance to keep it running smoothly. I have a sub (and partnership with Icey) who I try to devote a few hours a day to (even if it is just talking). I have a busy social life, keeping me out late at least a few days a week. I have family and friends who I need to care for. I am a mod and I am working hard to make getDare fun for everybody. It would also be nice to sometime just relax. And of course with any free time I have, I am looking to fill with things to satisfy my subby side.
2. I am loyal to Jaro
As I have mentioned, I don't have a lot of free time. I actually feel guilty a lot of the time that I don't devote enough attention to Jaro. There is no way that I could take on another sub and split my time evenly between them. I do not want Jaro to have another Domme (other than Icey), so I can't take on another long term sub.
3. I do not have the energy
I take being a Domme seriously. I have spent a lot of time getting to know him well enough to feel comfortable in my decisions. I spend a lot of time thinking about the tasks that I give Jaro. I do not have the energy to devote to doing that for somebody else and I would feel as though I was letting them down, and not living up to my full potential. Which means I would feel like a failure, lose confidence and not be a very good Domme to you.
4. I want to be subby.
I already have an outlet for my Dommey side. Actually, I have a few. I am currently looking for an outlet for my subby side. I want to feel subby. I need somebody who is going to be able to commandeer control of me, so that I can get pulled out of Domme mode and feel subby.
5. I cannot swtich
I cannot switch with the same partner. That is why I consider myself a sub who likes to Domme rather than a switch. I cannot feel subby towards somebody who I am Domming. It has not happened thus far, and I don't see it happening anytime soon. If I were to Domme you or give you tasks, it ruins all chances of you being my Dom.
6. ****I DO NOT WANT TO****
And that is all that should matter!
#6 is the only reason that should matter. The point is: I DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR DOMME!
You are not the exception. You are not special. We do not have a connection that puts you above all of my feelings and rules.
I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A NEW SUB!
I don't recall ever posting an ad looking for a sub. I don't remember ever telling anybody that I needed to find another outlet for my Domme side ... maybe I fell and bumped my head and I forgot???
Do you remember me saying that? No? Hmm ...
It just doesn't make any sense.
50% of the people who reply to my ad end up asking me to be their Domme. For some this happens right away .. maybe they just don't know how to read. I really do feel bad for them. I mean in this day and age reading is SUPER important. How can you find the porn you like if you don't know how to read?
The worst is the people who pretend they want to be my Dom, and then after some time chatting they start to ask me questions about how I Domme, or what types of tasks I give to Jaro. They get off on knowing the things I make him do. But when that thrill is not enough, they scrape up all their courage and hit me with the big question: "I know you have Jaro, but are you interested in maybe taking me on as another sub?".
Why do they think they are the exception? What makes them special?
I am NOT interested in taking on another sub. Why? Well not that I owe you an explanation ... but ...
1. I am a very busy person
I have a full time job which I work at 5 days a week. I have a husband who I love and enjoy spending time with. I have a house that requires cleaning and maintenance to keep it running smoothly. I have a sub (and partnership with Icey) who I try to devote a few hours a day to (even if it is just talking). I have a busy social life, keeping me out late at least a few days a week. I have family and friends who I need to care for. I am a mod and I am working hard to make getDare fun for everybody. It would also be nice to sometime just relax. And of course with any free time I have, I am looking to fill with things to satisfy my subby side.
2. I am loyal to Jaro
As I have mentioned, I don't have a lot of free time. I actually feel guilty a lot of the time that I don't devote enough attention to Jaro. There is no way that I could take on another sub and split my time evenly between them. I do not want Jaro to have another Domme (other than Icey), so I can't take on another long term sub.
3. I do not have the energy
I take being a Domme seriously. I have spent a lot of time getting to know him well enough to feel comfortable in my decisions. I spend a lot of time thinking about the tasks that I give Jaro. I do not have the energy to devote to doing that for somebody else and I would feel as though I was letting them down, and not living up to my full potential. Which means I would feel like a failure, lose confidence and not be a very good Domme to you.
4. I want to be subby.
I already have an outlet for my Dommey side. Actually, I have a few. I am currently looking for an outlet for my subby side. I want to feel subby. I need somebody who is going to be able to commandeer control of me, so that I can get pulled out of Domme mode and feel subby.
5. I cannot swtich
I cannot switch with the same partner. That is why I consider myself a sub who likes to Domme rather than a switch. I cannot feel subby towards somebody who I am Domming. It has not happened thus far, and I don't see it happening anytime soon. If I were to Domme you or give you tasks, it ruins all chances of you being my Dom.
6. ****I DO NOT WANT TO****
And that is all that should matter!
#6 is the only reason that should matter. The point is: I DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR DOMME!
You are not the exception. You are not special. We do not have a connection that puts you above all of my feelings and rules.
I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A NEW SUB!
Total Comments 29
Comments
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Oh I can relate to a lot of this! The number of times I get asked if I want another sub. I even get the occasional one who believe that I should drop Matt for them because they would be so much better a sub..... Like yeah, you don't have a clue!Posted 06-06-2018 at 10:16 PM by Sam~ 
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Posted 06-07-2018 at 12:22 AM by lilith_
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Man, it's too bad I already have a Domme, because reading that made me think you are looking for another sub, but sorry, I'm already taken. /sPosted 06-07-2018 at 11:13 AM by pet monkey
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Well maybe I just need to steal you back :PQuote:Originally Posted by colosubguy
Man, it's too bad I already have a Domme, because reading that made me think you are looking for another sub, but sorry, I'm already taken. /sPosted 06-07-2018 at 11:32 AM by Butterfly
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Can you please be my Domme, Miss?
Oh wait.....
I feel sooo lucky every single day.Posted 06-07-2018 at 11:37 AM by Jaro
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Yes, very interesting and I so agree with everything. But may I, may I be a little forward here, perhaps ask you a more personal question... between you and me, I mean. Do you think, or what I mean to say, is it at all possible, could you, could see yourself in a position where, or do you at all, maybe? a little? possibly? without entirely ruling it out?
What I mean to say is that are you absolutely certain of your thing, where you, that... Look! I won't PRESSURE you. I mean, I too am only driven by my... no, look... seriously... WOOF! Oh you, splendordful personality of... Angelic... Lepidoptery! Oh you, of the female persuasion! May I, this lowly nonperson, of not so much value (an sich), approach (in a virtual way) your magnificently mistressial Magnificence in order to say, or rather, to ask, if and whether, if it were possible, or that is to say, if one weren't such a wet blanket!
Thank you. Your Shely Butteriness.
[I thought this joke needed saying - before anyone actually said it.]Posted 06-07-2018 at 11:38 AM by Cstelle
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I don't want to know how many people are going to ask you to be her Domme now because they only read the title.
Anyway, 6. should be the only argument needed. People are way too uneducated or ignorant about consent.
Posted 06-07-2018 at 12:34 PM by CSasha
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I have a response ready for anybody who responds to this blog by asking to be my sub!Quote:Originally Posted by Cassandra
I don't want to know how many people are going to ask you to be her Domme now because they only read the title.
Anyway, 6. should be the only argument needed. People are way too uneducated or ignorant about consent.Posted 06-07-2018 at 01:40 PM by Butterfly
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This bit made me giggleQuote:50% of the people who reply to my ad end up asking me to be their Domme. For some this happens right away .. maybe they just don't know how to read. I really do feel bad for them. I mean in this day and age reading is SUPER important. How can you find the porn you like if you don't know how to read?
But in all seriousness, you're absolutely right when you say the only important reason is simply that you don't want another sub and it sucks when people don't respect that. So here's hoping the pests leave you alone so you can get back to spending time with people who can actually readPosted 06-07-2018 at 02:11 PM by Siren
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You aren't? Damnit. Well, there goes that idea...Posted 06-08-2018 at 01:08 PM by AbusiveMaster
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For you I will ALWAYS make an exception.Quote:Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster
You aren't? Damnit. Well, there goes that idea...
Posted 06-08-2018 at 01:55 PM by Butterfly
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Oh... wait, you thought I meant.... oh wow, and you claim not to be a bimbo?
Posted 06-08-2018 at 02:15 PM by AbusiveMaster
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I don't understand how people could *NOT* understand that you don't want another sub. I mean, you said it straight out. Didn't beat around the bush. Yikes! Way too many people disregard what someone says and just approaches with what they want. Sad.
Well, Butterfly, I'll be blunt. I'm not going to ask you to be my Domme. You do a great job with Jaro and it's awesome the dynamic that you have. But you need your "me" time. I do hope you find a good Dom so your subby side can stretch and have fun, too.
Oh, and happy Friday!Posted 06-08-2018 at 02:59 PM by Blue Fox
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Honestly, people hear what they want to hear. A lot of them also seem to have a complex that makes them feel as though they are the exception to the rule. They think that there is no way I could be referring to the them when I make a statement like that. Super annoying!!Quote:Originally Posted by Blue Fox
I don't understand how people could *NOT* understand that you don't want another sub. I mean, you said it straight out. Didn't beat around the bush. Yikes! Way too many people disregard what someone says and just approaches with what they want. Sad.
Well, Butterfly, I'll be blunt. I'm not going to ask you to be my Domme. You do a great job with Jaro and it's awesome the dynamic that you have. But you need your "me" time. I do hope you find a good Dom so your subby side can stretch and have fun, too.
Oh, and happy Friday!
Thank you for your kind words.
I hope my subby side can come out soon too.Posted 06-12-2018 at 08:05 AM by Butterfly
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this selective hearing (reading) is very annoying for me too.. I once wrote the description of ideal playmate on my profile page in a site as something like 30+ male Dom who can intrigue me.. and received a pm that went like I am male and that intrigues you right, I am a Dom and that intrigues you, right, so I am perfect for you.. After receiving that pm I wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel offended..Quote:Originally Posted by Butterfly
Honestly, people hear what they want to hear. A lot of them also seem to have a complex that makes them feel as though they are the exception to the rule.
Even funnier was when I was new here and my signature still had the phrase "Not looking for a Dom or a sub" I received pm's saying I was looking for a Dom or a sub and they could serve as both (i.e. switch with me).. It led me to capitalize and underline the word NOT in the signature to increase visibility!Posted 06-12-2018 at 08:43 AM by nina@
Updated 06-12-2018 at 08:51 AM by nina@ -
SO frustrating!!! Sometimes I almost feel like highlighting a certain word makes it MORE invisible. There really is only so much you can do to help people, and then it is on them.Quote:Originally Posted by nina@
this selective hearing (reading) is very annoying for me too.. I once wrote the description of ideal playmate on my profile page in a site as something like 30+ male Dom who can intrigue me.. and received a pm that went like I am male and that intrigues you right, I am a Dom and that intrigues you, right, so I am perfect for you.. After receiving that pm I wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel offended..
Even funnier was when I was new here and my signature still had the phrase "Not looking for a Dom or a sub" I received pm's saying I was looking for a Dom or a sub and they could serve as both (i.e. switch with me).. It led me to capitalize and underline the word NOT in the signature to increase visibility!Posted 06-12-2018 at 08:59 AM by Butterfly
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… At the risk of sound harsh, I think the people that ignore what you said and still ask come off as really desperate. They are probably more looking for a quick thrill and release than anything meaningful. Which speaks volumes of just how shallow, as a society, we have become.
Posted 06-12-2018 at 03:16 PM by Blue Fox
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I agree with you there.Quote:Originally Posted by Blue Fox
… At the risk of sound harsh, I think the people that ignore what you said and still ask come off as really desperate. They are probably more looking for a quick thrill and release than anything meaningful. Which speaks volumes of just how shallow, as a society, we have become.
Posted 06-12-2018 at 03:44 PM by Butterfly
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Can i be your sub please <3
jkjkPosted 07-03-2018 at 11:55 AM by Serrated
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I honestly laughed at this. Truly a good way to handle this situation. *claps paws* great job ButterflyPosted 07-07-2018 at 04:38 AM by eevee.velvet
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This is so cool *standing ovation*
I believe someone will be stupid enough to comment here too that they want to be your sub.. In their heads they clicked the link and it said so, many are least bothered to read the content.
But this is seriously so cool! Made me laughPosted 07-08-2018 at 12:07 PM by -
I feel like the sort of attitude of the people who PM you sort of fuck up the community as a whole. Like, I want to chat with people, both male AND female, but overall I'm scared to ever message any of the gals on here because I'm worried they'll (understandably so) assume I want something from them.
And then there are the people that take dares and never give them. *sigh*Posted 07-16-2018 at 01:53 PM by SubbyFootFetishist
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I personally try my best to keep an open mind when somebody messages me. Although I am always a bit guarded at first, I do try to feel them out to see what they are hoping to get. It helps when they upfront say "I saw your post on and was interesting in chatting more" or "I have seen you around and you seem nice, I thought maybe we could get to know each other". Those statements help to put me at ease. I also try my best to make it clear at the beginning of talking that I am NOT looking for anybody new and don't want to give out tasks, see their penis, etc.Quote:Originally Posted by SubbyFootFetishist
I feel like the sort of attitude of the people who PM you sort of fuck up the community as a whole. Like, I want to chat with people, both male AND female, but overall I'm scared to ever message any of the gals on here because I'm worried they'll (understandably so) assume I want something from them.
And then there are the people that take dares and never give them. *sigh*Posted 07-16-2018 at 02:13 PM by Butterfly
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If I'm going to make friends with people, I talk with them on chat first or comment on blogs. Get to know each. Because I don't want people to go "Oh god, why is that weirdo messaging me?" lol
Posted 07-16-2018 at 03:15 PM by Blue Fox
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I can be your sub miss on Skype and Kik now if you want try me out
Posted 08-25-2018 at 08:46 AM by Slave_on_skype
