I've been thinking
Posted 03-25-2018 at 08:30 PM by Diapered_prince
HEADS UP, THIS IS A DEPRESING POST. PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU ARE IN A BAD SPOT.
This past week has been low for me and rather difficult for reasons I just can't put into words but I will try anyway.
All my life I have been in school learning and growing in knowledge. I am 18(ish) months from graduating university and my friends are set to graduate at the end of the year. When they do graduate, they plan on moving to another part of the US that is still tbd, but that leaves me alone for an additional year. I am already kinda in a slump because I am ready to be finished with school, but it is bearable because I have friends nearby.
We live in a world that is more connected than ever before, yet how many people (that aren't family) do you know that you could, at the drop of a hat, call and ask for help with anything no matter the time? I can think of one person only and they will be leaving soon.
This funk has made me want to just shut off the world and not do anything because I don't want to experience that pain of loss. I think that is why I have never been in a relationship. I have seen everything as too temporary and consequently, not worth the heart break.
In addition to my friends leaving, I have hit another barrier in my education that is making me wonder if it is even worth the trouble.
This world is dark and cold, protests cover the news, crime and violence get all the attention even though, statistically, we are living in the safest time in history (at least in the US)
I feel like these problems of mine are so insignificant that I don't even have the right to complain about them, but here they are nagging at me and telling me to just curl up and do nothing.
What is the point of it all, we are just going to die in the end?
Is our job to alleviate the suffering of others along the way?
If so, what is the cost of that?
I just want it to get better sometimes, but...how
This past week has been low for me and rather difficult for reasons I just can't put into words but I will try anyway.
All my life I have been in school learning and growing in knowledge. I am 18(ish) months from graduating university and my friends are set to graduate at the end of the year. When they do graduate, they plan on moving to another part of the US that is still tbd, but that leaves me alone for an additional year. I am already kinda in a slump because I am ready to be finished with school, but it is bearable because I have friends nearby.
We live in a world that is more connected than ever before, yet how many people (that aren't family) do you know that you could, at the drop of a hat, call and ask for help with anything no matter the time? I can think of one person only and they will be leaving soon.
This funk has made me want to just shut off the world and not do anything because I don't want to experience that pain of loss. I think that is why I have never been in a relationship. I have seen everything as too temporary and consequently, not worth the heart break.
In addition to my friends leaving, I have hit another barrier in my education that is making me wonder if it is even worth the trouble.
This world is dark and cold, protests cover the news, crime and violence get all the attention even though, statistically, we are living in the safest time in history (at least in the US)
I feel like these problems of mine are so insignificant that I don't even have the right to complain about them, but here they are nagging at me and telling me to just curl up and do nothing.
What is the point of it all, we are just going to die in the end?
Is our job to alleviate the suffering of others along the way?
If so, what is the cost of that?
I just want it to get better sometimes, but...how
Total Comments 1
Comments
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I really don't now what to say, but I want to say something, so I will share a little bit about my experience ...
I felt a lot of the same things that you did a few years ago. I think wondering if it is all worth it is a natural party of growing up. You are at a hard part in your journey. I can promise that there is the potential for things to get better.
Don't push people away because you don't want to lose them. Love and friendship, true love and true friendship, are worth the potential heart break. There really is some truth to the old adage: It is better to have love and lost, than to never have loved at all.
Before your friend moves away, spend as much time with them as possible. Just because you will be living in different parts of the country, doesn't mean they won't always be there for you when you need them, and you should treasure the time you have remaining. If you knew you were having your leg cut off tomorrow, would you not want to run one more time today?
And the last thing I will share is this: Not too long ago, I found myself living in a brand new place, no friends, no family, no job, no social life or activities ... all I had was Mr. Devious. And while he is amazing, I felt alone. I spent a year feeling so horribly alone, and then one day I decided to do something about it. It is not easy to start over or make new friends, but it is especially hard as an adult. However, fast forward 2 years, and I now have two of the most amazing friends ever as well as a bunch of other fun acquaintances.
So all in all, my point is that things may feel very bleak right now, but if you decide to change that, then it can happen. Try to keep your chin up, and think positively. It does make a difference.Posted 03-26-2018 at 09:33 AM by Butterfly 
