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Facets of Pain – An Exploration

Posted 07-03-2020 at 11:21 PM by Yasna

I get sexually aroused from pain. I think I have identified as a "painslut" somewhere on here. Pain can even push me over the edge. But sometimes I simply hate pain. A slight overshoot and pain kills arousal instantaneously. There are nuances that decide whether I experience pain as arousing or as a buzzkill. The same amount of pain doesn't always cause the same reaction.

I have been dared to clamp my nipples and add more weight than ever before if I remember correctly. I am excited and fearful about that at the same time. So, I procrastinate, thinking about the contradictory thoughts and feelings pain can evoke. There won't be a punchline. I don't know if any conclusions can be drawn from it or if my experiences are typical. It's just an exploration.

Let's start with the trivial observation that there are several kinds of pain. Or, to be more precise, there are several ways how I am effected by pain. I never get aroused from a toothache, a headache, or menstrual cramps. I have read that the areas in the brain that process pain and sexual pleasure are quite close to each other. Therefore, the corresponding sensations can get confused. It makes sense to assume that there must be a level of arousal to confuse pain with. That would explain why pain to erogenous zones can heighten arousal. But it is not straightforward. I can get aroused by pain to areas that are usually not considered erogenous zones – the soles of my feet, my back.

However, if the explanation is correct it would make sense that the areas most capable of arousal are also most responsive to pain. This concurs with my experiences. If I orgasm from pain it is from pain to the clit. When I am really horny a well targeted, well adjusted strike or squeeze can push me over. It is difficult to describe what happens in this moment. The first reactions are the typical reaction to pain: a scream or a sharp inhalation, a tension of the body, doubling-up for protection. But almost immediately the sensation of pain is overwritten by a wave of pleasure, causing other reactions: lust, sensual moaning, the opening up of the body.

What I like about pain-induced orgasms is that they go on for a while without further stimulation. It seems the sensations are oscillating around the contradictory tendencies and create a feedback loop. While climbing towards relieve the lines can get absolutely blurred. Imagine a frenzy of pain, ever increasing in intensity, when desperation for relieve wins over the natural instinct of pain avoidance. These are the moments when I emerge from the frenzy and I find my genitalia red or blue and I am a bit shocked. Not being able to cum this way or being denied is way more frustrating. Maybe because the investment has been higher.

Pain to the other areas is different because it is not a way of getting off but "just" a different kind of sexual stimulation. I enjoy pain to the labia (clamping, squeezing, flogging), the breasts (binding, slapping), the nipples (binding, clamping, squeezing), and cane strokes to the soles of my feet and my back. Arousal from pain is more intense for me than from other ways of stimulation. So, the urge to feel pain usually shows up late in the cascade of pleasure, but it almost inevitable does show up. The longing for pleasurable pain that enhances excitement; that is easy to understand. But there are still more different kinds of pain.

There is pain that I seek out that still feels like pain, only like pain, very unpleasant, maybe only barely bearable. What's that about? Isn't this nonsensical? No, it is not, it is just that the pleasure I derive from it is further removed. It is the pleasure from feeling like a good submissive. The idea that my suffering arouses somebody else, maybe even made them orgasm, in turn arouses me. This is my drive behind doing most dares on here. It is different from using pain for sexual arousal. In these instances, I'm looking for genuine suffering. I need to be in the mood and in the right headspace for this. I feel excited when I prepare and I feel good afterwards, but during must feel like real pain, like real devotedness to achieve that subsequent pleasure. Suffering through pain even though it is not pleasurable feels like an accomplishment. Increasing pain tolerance feels like an accomplishment. This seems to be different to pain as enhancement to pleasure as described above. It cannot be easily explained by overlapping brain functions confusing sensations. It is not a purely visceral reaction but an almost rational trade off. It is suffering for an idea and an ideal. It is the pleasure derived from fulfilling what I conceive as my purpose, from feeling in touch with myself.

Similarly, "afterpain" can feel reassuring and calming. When my pussy or my tits hurt for several days after a pain frenzy it still feels like pain but feeling it usually makes me smile. Such pain is a reminder of the pleasure before, a promise for the next time.

I don't know if anybody had the patience to read this far. Thinking and writing definitely helped me to collect my thoughts. Actually, it also made me quite horny. This was not my intention. I think it is weird because this was intended as a factual text. I guess "painslut" is quite an accurate self-description.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Martijn's Avatar
    Interesting blog post! I never realised that those two areas are so closely together in our brain. Thanks you for sharing these private thoughts. Understanding how a mind works will improve me as a Dom. I like it how you factually describe what you feel.

    Reading this made me also horny
    Posted 07-04-2020 at 12:10 AM by Martijn Martijn is offline
    Updated 07-04-2020 at 12:15 AM by Martijn
  2. Old Comment
    zephyrnem's Avatar
    I usually dont play with pain, which makes the times I do, very fun. I also like a bit of pain in the service of humiliation. I have always wanted to be driven to cry or humiliate myself in front of a group while naked because of pain. Driven to do things. However, you are right that too much can quickly kill any "buzz" and that level is a moving target. I see breath play in a similar way. These two are hard to find a casual play partner who will engage in them. The few times have sent me over the moon.

    Thank you for this post. Very nice.
    Posted 07-04-2020 at 04:51 AM by zephyrnem zephyrnem is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Yasna's Avatar
    Thanks for your comment, zephyrnem. I know my body very well and I can "play it" like an instrument, but it is difficult for casual sex partners to strike the right chord. Maybe contrary to the common opinion I think the dominant part is way more demanding than the submissive. Learning all those nuances is hard work.
    Posted 07-04-2020 at 05:27 AM by Yasna Yasna is offline
  4. Old Comment
    zephyrnem's Avatar
    Thanks for your reply. I love treating sex like any other art. It is worth it. Creativity, nuance, subtlety, and honesty pay off. Rehearsal!
    Posted 07-04-2020 at 10:39 AM by zephyrnem zephyrnem is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Dungeonmaster's Avatar
    Yes, there are people who had the patience to read until the end
    It is a very well written post and an interesting description of your reactions to different sorts of pain. It is kind of fascinating how much you think about the reason for these reaction. I guess these deep thughts you put into it also make it more intense for you.

    Anyway, thank you for the insight, it was very interesting and I can confirm you are not the only one thinking that way. I had very similar reports from different submissives, including one who never liked pain, but then wanted to cry in pain for one particular person.
    Posted 07-06-2020 at 05:25 AM by Dungeonmaster Dungeonmaster is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Pet Ra's Avatar
    Thank you very much for this wonderful blog.

    Even I haven't get off from pain, but it really can help to build up arousal and be such a kinky reminder. You put it in better words than I would ever had could
    Posted 07-11-2020 at 03:08 AM by Pet Ra Pet Ra is offline
 

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