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What does the Dom get?
Posted 02-15-2015 at 04:40 PM by An_Jon
Cleri asked me an interesting question recently when she asked me what a Dom gets out of an online play session. It's one of those where you initially think there are loads of responses, but for a moment I was actually a little stumped.
What do I get out of my play sessions with Cleri? The first thing I thought of was companionship. I hit a low patch in my life when Uni ended. I had lost a lot of friends and someone quite amazing in my life. I feel at home far less able to express my kinky side as I was at uni. With Cleri I'm able to express myself fully with a person I can comfortably call a friend. I like this a lot. Having a friend is probably the best thing I get out of this.
I 'get off' on being controlling. Yes, I don't actually need to do an act to get turned on/a bit satisfied. Usually, it's just enough to get a sense that she's going to get a lot of pleasure/suffering out of any given task. In this regard I don't need to be 'given' anything.
I get put in the odd position of 'owning' someone's pleasure. I'm a person who likes to have responsibility, and to be given control over someone's entire sexual pleasure gives me a certain thrill. Again, this is something which comes about without me needing anything sexual being done to me. Out of this, I get a chance to exercise lots of responsibility for someone - and actual human being. It boggles my mind.
I think what some people struggle to comprehend is that BDSM doesn't always need to involve sex. Alright, sure, play sessions usually mean some form of sexual act, but I don't need any act performed on me to get off. What happens allows me to express myself fully, properly, exactly - and that is what the Dom gets out of online relationships.
What do I get out of my play sessions with Cleri? The first thing I thought of was companionship. I hit a low patch in my life when Uni ended. I had lost a lot of friends and someone quite amazing in my life. I feel at home far less able to express my kinky side as I was at uni. With Cleri I'm able to express myself fully with a person I can comfortably call a friend. I like this a lot. Having a friend is probably the best thing I get out of this.
I 'get off' on being controlling. Yes, I don't actually need to do an act to get turned on/a bit satisfied. Usually, it's just enough to get a sense that she's going to get a lot of pleasure/suffering out of any given task. In this regard I don't need to be 'given' anything.
I get put in the odd position of 'owning' someone's pleasure. I'm a person who likes to have responsibility, and to be given control over someone's entire sexual pleasure gives me a certain thrill. Again, this is something which comes about without me needing anything sexual being done to me. Out of this, I get a chance to exercise lots of responsibility for someone - and actual human being. It boggles my mind.
I think what some people struggle to comprehend is that BDSM doesn't always need to involve sex. Alright, sure, play sessions usually mean some form of sexual act, but I don't need any act performed on me to get off. What happens allows me to express myself fully, properly, exactly - and that is what the Dom gets out of online relationships.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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I honestly think that it is different for every dom, however, I do agree that we don't actually need to perform the act itself to be aroused/able to get off. Honestly, there are moments in a play session, where controlling the my partner has left me with an intense, warm feeling inside my entire body - best way I would describe this feeling is like having an entire body orgasm without touching yourself and it starts from deep inside you body, before expanding throughtout your body.
I, myself, find being a dom 'satisfying'/'get off' on the emotions my sub feels and expresses, the creative aspect of trying to blow and excite the sub's mind every time, the connection between my sub and I, the small gifts she leaves and most importantly, I find myself, enjoying helping someone and honestly, helping someone with such intimates acts are indescribable.
Heh, just my 2 cents
Posted 02-15-2015 at 08:52 PM by M.G 
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Having a friend is for sure one of the things I get out of it as well! Good point!
I get what you're saying with the other points. It's kind of like that for me. I would say that I get mental satisfaction out of it. It's not even about shooting my load. Sometimes I don't even think about that. Domming stimulates me in a different way. It stimulates my brain in a sexual way!
Like M.G. said above me, I think each Dom gets something different out of it. I know some guys like to cum and call it a night, some do it to feel better or feel in control, others might do it because they like caring for someone... Whatever the reason, if you both get what you want, that should be good!Posted 02-16-2015 at 04:04 PM by drwarschauu
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I have actually wondered this myself at times. I struggle with the spotlight being on me constantly, and I like to please other people. So sometimes, if we are doing a lot of playing, I feel like there is so much attention being given to me and I feel guilty that I am not doing anything for my Dom. But thank you all for shedding a bit of light to this question I have struggled with.Posted 02-17-2015 at 03:43 PM by Butterfly
