The last minutes of 2020 had me submerged in pleasure, swept away by one orgasm after another. The first day of 2021 brings a new promise—a year of denial.

When I joined getDare in October, kink was mostly about anal fun and the pleasure of pain—spanking, clamps, the idea of giving someone the power to hurt me and love it. I rarely went more than two days without an orgasm. On lazy days, I used to have more than one over the course of a day. Pleasure was uninhibited. When I submitted...