Ponderings

I have been pondering my BDSM interest a lot of late with two things that have particularly been on my mind.

First, I am think of deleting my “sister” (my fake alter-ego when I dom). I realize after a recent session on here that I don't enjoy domming on anything that approaches reality. The thought of really controlling a man I find unattractive. I've always approached it as an abstract impersonal fantasy, almost a literary challenge, while trying to give an online friend a little pleasure. However, to make it more pleasurable for him, the more personal it has to become, and thus the less enjoyable for me.

Adding to this I had my first real-world BDSM experience with a friend on a recent vacation to Florida. It was fun and confirmed that I'm at heart a sub but in a playful way, not in a life-style approach – I think. It's rather complicated; the relationship is “friends-with-benefits” which I'm not sure I'm fully comfortable about. But this is getting too much like a confessional.

I guess I'm asking if this makes any sense?

I still enjoy playing on here but I think my attempts at domming, which generally have been subpar, are probably at an end.

I hope everyone is happy and well.

Dan eich bendith,
Amy