Breath play.
Posted 11-09-2021 at 01:05 PM by IceMaiden
Last month AM was FINALLY here with me in person. It's been so long since we saw each other that in the days leading up to when he would arrive, time seemed to go on FOREVER. He hadn't been here for more than an hour before he decided he was going to get grabby with me and wrapped his hand around my throat and dragged me up from the couch. And he claims I am the impatient one out of the two of us.
After I made some delightfully hilarious comments and proceeded to start giggling at how amusing I am, he turned me so that my back was to him and wrapped his arm around my throat, and began tightening his hold. It took only a few seconds before my breathing became laboured and another one or two seconds before I was really struggling to breathe at all. Unless you count the passing comments about him throat fucking me until I passed out; we'd never discussed breath play in any way, shape or form. It was never something I found appealing and considering he had also never mentioned it, it didn't seem to be high on the list of things he wanted to try either.
I guess that most people's reactions to something like this without any prior communication about it would be to panic. It's not exactly a safe kink and it's extremely easy for it to go very wrong, very quickly. But while my heartbeat did speed up, it wasn't from fear. It was from adrenaline, the fight or flight response, and the struggle to continue breathing. It was never, ever about fear. Not for a single second.
AM, however, wasn't so sure and when he released his hold he made a comment about panic and how I didn't need to be scared. He thought I had been scared once his grip tightened and I could no longer breathe, but I hadn't been at any point. I wasn't anxious or afraid in the slightest. After informing him that I was not scared and that I trusted him absolutely he seemed to take that as a sign to remove my oxygen again several times.
I have no safeword or limits with AM, I haven't for a very long time. But that doesn't mean anything goes or that he never checks in. It's very possible to play without these constraints but still keep a close eye on your submissive. It doesn't take away from the scene, if anything it only makes me want to give myself to him even more. He can take everything from me while still putting my safety and wellbeing as his greatest concern. The way he checked in by telling me I didn't need to be scared without actually asking if I was okay only added to the scene. If I had been scared at any point, he simply decided I didn't have to be and so it would cease.
The body's reaction is to struggle, to try and free itself in these situations...but at no point did I fight it. At no point did I feel like I needed to. My arms stayed loose and relaxed and didn't try and pry away his from my throat. My mind knew that I was safe at all times even when I was wheezing and desperately trying to find a breath. Once the mind is calm, it's amazing what the body allows.
As it was the first time we had tried anything like this, we didn't try too much or too often and AM didn't leave me wheezing for prolonged periods before he loosened his grip and allowed me to find some air. Would I have struggled with anyone else? Absolutely. Would I have remained so calm? Not a chance. This type of play only went so well because of the trust I have in him.
I'm now curious to explore this kink further. Perhaps next time we might try throat fucking until I pass out. Or squeeze my throat until my body can no longer fight it and faints without choice. Maybe try the latter during sex, I hear it's supposed to make the orgasm incredible. Having him use my butt while holding my head underwater seems like lots of fun. Which is odd, considering my claustrophobia. So many things to try with AM. I will never, ever get tired of exploring with him. When I say I trust him with my life; it's not something I say lightly. I mean every single word of it. ♡
After I made some delightfully hilarious comments and proceeded to start giggling at how amusing I am, he turned me so that my back was to him and wrapped his arm around my throat, and began tightening his hold. It took only a few seconds before my breathing became laboured and another one or two seconds before I was really struggling to breathe at all. Unless you count the passing comments about him throat fucking me until I passed out; we'd never discussed breath play in any way, shape or form. It was never something I found appealing and considering he had also never mentioned it, it didn't seem to be high on the list of things he wanted to try either.
I guess that most people's reactions to something like this without any prior communication about it would be to panic. It's not exactly a safe kink and it's extremely easy for it to go very wrong, very quickly. But while my heartbeat did speed up, it wasn't from fear. It was from adrenaline, the fight or flight response, and the struggle to continue breathing. It was never, ever about fear. Not for a single second.
AM, however, wasn't so sure and when he released his hold he made a comment about panic and how I didn't need to be scared. He thought I had been scared once his grip tightened and I could no longer breathe, but I hadn't been at any point. I wasn't anxious or afraid in the slightest. After informing him that I was not scared and that I trusted him absolutely he seemed to take that as a sign to remove my oxygen again several times.
I have no safeword or limits with AM, I haven't for a very long time. But that doesn't mean anything goes or that he never checks in. It's very possible to play without these constraints but still keep a close eye on your submissive. It doesn't take away from the scene, if anything it only makes me want to give myself to him even more. He can take everything from me while still putting my safety and wellbeing as his greatest concern. The way he checked in by telling me I didn't need to be scared without actually asking if I was okay only added to the scene. If I had been scared at any point, he simply decided I didn't have to be and so it would cease.
The body's reaction is to struggle, to try and free itself in these situations...but at no point did I fight it. At no point did I feel like I needed to. My arms stayed loose and relaxed and didn't try and pry away his from my throat. My mind knew that I was safe at all times even when I was wheezing and desperately trying to find a breath. Once the mind is calm, it's amazing what the body allows.
As it was the first time we had tried anything like this, we didn't try too much or too often and AM didn't leave me wheezing for prolonged periods before he loosened his grip and allowed me to find some air. Would I have struggled with anyone else? Absolutely. Would I have remained so calm? Not a chance. This type of play only went so well because of the trust I have in him.
I'm now curious to explore this kink further. Perhaps next time we might try throat fucking until I pass out. Or squeeze my throat until my body can no longer fight it and faints without choice. Maybe try the latter during sex, I hear it's supposed to make the orgasm incredible. Having him use my butt while holding my head underwater seems like lots of fun. Which is odd, considering my claustrophobia. So many things to try with AM. I will never, ever get tired of exploring with him. When I say I trust him with my life; it's not something I say lightly. I mean every single word of it. ♡
Total Comments 5
Comments
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There comes a point in a relationship where you get a very good feel of how the other is going to react/feel/tolerate situations. We passed that stage long ago - I don't advise most people to just decide to do what I just decided to do.
That said, it was something I was wary of, I know my Icemaiden has issues with things about her neck and a fear of choking, so while making every effort to appear cavalier, I was more attentive than I usually am. I will add here that the choking sessions lasted 10-15 seconds, they just seemed much longer to my miniscule pet person, she was never in any danger of passing out or dying.
While I appreciate the love and trust of my girl beyond my ability to express, the taeaway I want to leave is it is better to BE safe and APPEAR dangerous than it is to actually put someone at risk, fear is as useful a tool as actuality.
That said, when I beat her arse until she resembled a deep purple waffle iron, that was every bit as severe as her imagination made it.Posted 11-09-2021 at 01:24 PM by AbusiveMaster 
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Wonderful to read you were able to meet up. As you mentioned, panic response is a deeply ingrained, physical thing. That deep seated security is highly exceptional. Thank you for sharing.Posted 11-10-2021 at 11:18 AM by StrawDog
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So happy you two got time to play! I love reading/ watching breath play and exploring a new kink with the person you love and trust is the best.Posted 11-10-2021 at 04:43 PM by Heart
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I always hate when I see people posting about being a "no limits" slave because I know it isn't true. Everybody has limits. However, when you have found the right partner, you don't just erase those limits, you give ownership of those limits to that partner. That takes time, trust, commitment, communication. The two of you have built that and it is so special. I think it is so rare, and I love seeing it. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Also, I love watching breath play porn, but I am not sure I could ever play with it because of my claustrophobia but maybe with the right person, one day I could too. I am so glad you two had time together!Posted 11-12-2021 at 11:22 AM by Butterfly
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It is awesome to read how much 100% trust in each other can do for a (BDSM) relationship. I wish you both many such awesomely edgy play sessions together!Posted 11-15-2021 at 06:41 AM by Jaro
