My Dominant side

After my switching thread I thought it would be a good idea to explore my sides a bit more individually...

So, as per the previous post, my interaction with women would be more submissive when I was younger, but over time my Dominant side emerged.

When did this start? It's hard to pin down exactly, from a young age I liked the idea of Women being embarrassed and Men winning against Women in competition, though I wouldn't put this under misogynistic as I didn't class men as superior, I just enjoyed Men winning and the Woman having to pay a penalty.
On dominance of the sex I am of the opinion that Men and Women are hard to compare directly and that each sex has it's own advantages and strengths...but this is a whole other debate

So maybe I started life with an essence of Dominance, and society/people beat it out of me (see sub post for more on that)...

When I got a bit older, say 18 or so I would chat a lot online to meet girls and have fun, make friends but also be a bit cheeky and maybe play games with forfeits, but that was more switchy really, strip games and the like were my ideal, but it was more GD that I would give out punishments and dares to 'girls' particularly messy ones haha, but I tried to be varied...wish I could see all my early posts to help myself look back and see everything I did.

Let's skip ahead a little to my mid-late twenties, this was GD but also when I discovered Fetlife for the first time, I would talk mainly with subs and learned a great deal about how they viewed things, when younger the idea of having a girl as a slave or giving them punishment was difficult, as I never really wanted to hurt anyone or cause any harm in any way.
But learning about how it was rewarding for subs to please and feel good about themselves through positive recognition helped, of course with some having sadomasochist tendencies this again made me actually feel happy about giving them dares and punishments, as I learned about the enjoyment of these.

I talked with one girl, Bryony...she was special, very bright and bubbly, a lot of fun but with a serious edge behind her, she had moved to the Netherlands to be with a Master and she told me a lot about her experiences, about the dynamic they shared, the rules that she lived by...but ultimately where things broke down with her Dominant and how he ended up neglecting her needs and focusing on another sub he kept, his control was more absolute and less caring in the end and this drove her away.

When I have a deeper interaction with a sub or indeed with any partner, I have a tendency to put them first, focus on how I can help them, how I can make them a better person and how I can make them happy, for a long time I struggled with the concept of a partner doing the same thing for me, but as I grew more confident about myself and happier in life I was able to appreciate when someone wanted to be good to me too.

My first play partner was key in shaping things for me, Cody as she liked to be called had a very good soul, she had suffered though and had been broken a little inside, she lived with a guy and his family for a number of years, effectively being subservient to them and feeling trapped in a life she couldn't control, she escaped that life eventually but found herself a bit alone without the proper support of family and found a guy who could look after her.
Her life being taken away for so long though made her feel she needed to explore and experiment with her sexuality so she would play with others, we would play a lot for the months we saw each other and even went to a few events like a rope tying workshop and a hypnosis meet (the latter more to discuss the subject), we experimented a lot and became close.
She was pretty much 100% submissive which was new to me, so I learned what made her happy, indulged her in things she wanted to try...spent a lot of money on toys haha, for example she wanted to be a cat, so I got her a tail, ears, a bell and some cat toys and we had a Pet Play session...another time I had a remote vibrator in her and we went around town, I teased her a lot...eventually making her cum in a museum which was fun for me!

My first long term girlfriend...well that was a complicated one, she liked to be dominated but also like to take control at times, the dynamic of that relationship was chaotic though for many reasons and ultimately wasn't right for either of us, no matter how much we tried, how much emotion was there and how much we wanted things to work out.
We experimented, she liked some strong pain such as spanking and nipple pain when we were intimate, she indulged in some of my interests, I liked her to dress up for me in costumes and sexy outfits and loved being teased by her...
But in terms of Dominance...that relationship forced me to take control in new ways and to become a stronger person to survive it, she would try to destroy my confidence but ironically that made it stronger in the long run, in her trying to own me and my life I found the inner will to take more control over it in order to keep the balance and not lose my identity, in the end her need to control me emotionally was what brought things to a close...along with a lot of other things, but that's another story.

After this I did chat to more people on Fetlife and learned more and more, but couldn't quite find the right person to connect with again.

The latest piece in my puzzle is my job, moving to Poland was not my first choice in life...but it became it, I took a job which was essentially a more senior position with added responsibility, I was able to afford living on my own and being more independent and this has made me feel more powerful overall in life.

I don't know if the above gives much insight into my Dominant side or not, but it's how I see myself progressing over time and takes me up to where I am today