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You're sitting in a dingy bar. You drain the dregs of the last alcoholic beverage you can afford for the night. You've got one shiny coin left. You look around for something to spend it on. There's a charity jar at the end of the bar, which you reach out for. But just beyond it you see a big flashing jukebox. You walk over and slot your coin in. Not sure what to choose, you hit RANDOM.
The discs whirr into place, and it comes up...
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Everybody Knows - Leonard Cohen

Posted 01-15-2009 at 05:53 AM by Hampers
Updated 01-15-2009 at 06:37 AM by Hampers

It seems to me that there has been a spate of dares which have been torn down for being 'unsafe' or 'morally unethical'. Because you might hurt yourself, or because kids might see you.

In response to these suggestions, may I present the following two-word statement:


WELL DUH


It's a dare, stupid! The point is there's a risk that you might get hurt, or you might get in trouble. That's why you have to be DARING to do it! If you hurt yourself, there aren't many dares where you would end up in hospital (unless someone dares you to stick a light bulb in your mouth. They get stuck). Yes, I suppose some dares [Cut off your dick] are stupid and I doubt you could find anyone on the site who would do them. But most, although risky, are not likely to result in any serious harm. Yes, you could get an infection from inserting unwashed grapes into your anus, but you're more likely to slip on the bathroom tiles while you do it. And if bathroom tiles really were so dangerous, why haven't governments banned them around the world? BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE AREN'T DUMB FUCKS.

So in lieu of continuing my rant, I here present the most daring dare I will ever post:

Quote:
While naked, insert a bicycle pump into yourself, while riding a horse down a flight of stairs in a police station.
Actually, hang on. If you were in a police station, you would get caught. So do it in your own home. And come to think of it, a horse could injure you down a flight of stairs, if it fell for instance, so forget that. Maybe just sit on a chair instead of a horse. And that bicycle could get stuck inside you, and in a farcical turn of events could eventually inflate you by mistake. And you'll catch your death of cold if you go around naked, so you better dress warmly. Avoid any injuries by carrying a first aid kit, ambulance, and St Johns crew around with you at all times.

In fact, my dare can pretty much be safely performed by sitting on the couch covered in bubble wrap.

So in conclusion, I would like to announce the true nature of project Unification: Renaming getDare.com to getCoveredinbubblewrapwhilesittingonacouch.com

And while I think of it, I hope you're not slouching while you sit... ergonomics and all that...
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Bubblewrap... ha... I'm easily amused
    Posted 01-15-2009 at 09:43 AM by Davros Davros is offline
  2. Old Comment
    interesting's Avatar
    Are you mad? Bubblewrap? You could choke on that. And imagine: each bubble contains air under a small amount of pressure. What if one explodes? More than one? My God! You might go deaf too!

    I'm just saying...
    Posted 01-15-2009 at 11:15 PM by interesting interesting is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Zeromus's Avatar
    Pop...POP...snap...POP...SNAP...Snop???Crack!

    OMG It's sooooo fun!!!
    Posted 01-16-2009 at 06:19 AM by Zeromus Zeromus is offline
  4. Old Comment
    TheLittleStrawberry's Avatar
    I like Leonard Cohen...
    Posted 01-16-2009 at 06:53 AM by TheLittleStrawberry TheLittleStrawberry is offline
  5. Old Comment
    TheLittleStrawberry's Avatar
    Actually he fucking came to my city once... Guess what? Not a week before I had to leave for vacation <.< I felt like crying.
    Posted 01-16-2009 at 06:54 AM by TheLittleStrawberry TheLittleStrawberry is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Hampers's Avatar
    Woah... Must not blog while drunk.

    But yeah, Leonard Cohen sold out MAJORORORLY! He came to Australia, and tickets were about $AU200! (About Five US Dollars, or Twenty Pence, or 3000 Euros)

    What happened to the quiet folk singer?

    In his own words, "I can't buy it any more".
    Posted 01-16-2009 at 08:21 AM by Hampers Hampers is offline
 

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