Just a rainbow with some kink.
I am not going to get better
Posted 10-25-2018 at 06:09 AM by Happy Me
Hi everyone!
So, now I am really here, and gonna stick around, I thought I should just kind of let everyone know.
I am really sick. I am now out of work on permanent disability. I am not going to get better. I have a rare progressive disease. It caused a bunch of other illnesses. I have a million illnesses and on top of it this rare disease that is super painful, and almost completely debilitating. I do every single thing the doctors tell me too, I take all of the pills, I do everything I am supposed to do, and there is nothing more they can do.
Some days I cry all day long because I am so miserable, and even getting up to go to the bathroom is like the hardest thing ever.
Some days, through it all, I am happy and joyful, and have a good amount of fun.
Even when I am doing really really well, I have about 8 hours a week that are functional, and even those are not what I would have called functional 2 years ago.
The thing is, it is progressive, so while I have some days that are harder than others, it is not going to get better, it is only going to get worse.
I am dealing with that in my way. Part of that is coming here, to enjoy my time, talk to nice people, have kinky fun, etc. I am not here for any kind of serious reason. If you take something I say as being serious, I can guarantee you it is not. What is serious is that my life legitimately sucks. I feel like ass all of the time, I can't do anything I want to do, and I can't even do the things I need to do. In contrast, really not even one thing on getDare is deserving of any drama or strife compared to my day-to-day struggle just to make it to the end of the day.
I have emotional support. My close friends, my family, my psychologist. My wonderful amazing dommy Imakward. I don't need that from getDare. What I need, why I am here, is to help people, help the site, make it a better place, and above all have fun during the last functional moments in my life.
So if I seem spacey, don't reply in time, or don't give you that dare I said I would, you can pretty much assume that I am having a bad day. If I am having a bad day I might still come on here an post a few things, but my brain isn't working right, or I am crying on and off all day, or I'm in so much pain I would rather die than keep trying to make it to the end of the day. When I get ahold of myself again I sometimes forget things that I said before all of that. Sometimes I need reminders, but what I never never never never need is any more drama than my body is providing.
I really only care about people, I am only ever trying to do the kind thing. I never have bad intentions. That I can 100% guarantee.
So, now I am really here, and gonna stick around, I thought I should just kind of let everyone know.
- I am undependable
- If I don't reply to you or do something I said I was gonna do, or I forget to do something, it is not about you
- If I am slow to reply to you, it is not about you or my feelings about you
- I can't help it
I am really sick. I am now out of work on permanent disability. I am not going to get better. I have a rare progressive disease. It caused a bunch of other illnesses. I have a million illnesses and on top of it this rare disease that is super painful, and almost completely debilitating. I do every single thing the doctors tell me too, I take all of the pills, I do everything I am supposed to do, and there is nothing more they can do.
Some days I cry all day long because I am so miserable, and even getting up to go to the bathroom is like the hardest thing ever.
Some days, through it all, I am happy and joyful, and have a good amount of fun.
Even when I am doing really really well, I have about 8 hours a week that are functional, and even those are not what I would have called functional 2 years ago.
The thing is, it is progressive, so while I have some days that are harder than others, it is not going to get better, it is only going to get worse.
I am dealing with that in my way. Part of that is coming here, to enjoy my time, talk to nice people, have kinky fun, etc. I am not here for any kind of serious reason. If you take something I say as being serious, I can guarantee you it is not. What is serious is that my life legitimately sucks. I feel like ass all of the time, I can't do anything I want to do, and I can't even do the things I need to do. In contrast, really not even one thing on getDare is deserving of any drama or strife compared to my day-to-day struggle just to make it to the end of the day.
I have emotional support. My close friends, my family, my psychologist. My wonderful amazing dommy Imakward. I don't need that from getDare. What I need, why I am here, is to help people, help the site, make it a better place, and above all have fun during the last functional moments in my life.
So if I seem spacey, don't reply in time, or don't give you that dare I said I would, you can pretty much assume that I am having a bad day. If I am having a bad day I might still come on here an post a few things, but my brain isn't working right, or I am crying on and off all day, or I'm in so much pain I would rather die than keep trying to make it to the end of the day. When I get ahold of myself again I sometimes forget things that I said before all of that. Sometimes I need reminders, but what I never never never never need is any more drama than my body is providing.
I really only care about people, I am only ever trying to do the kind thing. I never have bad intentions. That I can 100% guarantee.
Thank you to everyone on here who is working so hard to make this a great place to be. I am 100% with you and support you and I think you are amazing and awesome and you are in my heart.
Total Comments 14
Comments
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I am 100% with you to try and improve the site
I also. enjoy all my interactions with you thus far I'm glad you came back to be active on the site again!Posted 10-25-2018 at 06:54 AM by Heart 
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You are sick and all that, but you are also wonderful and all that, and the reason you're not going to get better is that you're already perfect. So there. Nyah. Take that, Universe!Posted 10-25-2018 at 07:58 AM by Cstelle
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I had no idea you are sick and I never would have guessed it because I always get such a positive vibe from you. Even just looking at your profile picture makes me genuinely smile.
I only recently got to know you and already I know you are awesome!
So... stay strong! Stay you! Stay awesome!Posted 10-25-2018 at 08:04 AM by Jaro
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You are an absolute inspiration.
I find that way too many people take things too seriously. Things that are supposed to be fun, joy filled, leisure activities turn into fighting or drama sessions and life is really too short for all of that.
I am sending positive vibes and big hugs and cuddles your way.Posted 10-25-2018 at 08:15 AM by Butterfly
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I agree with everyone else: You are wonderful and an inspiration! To show such strength grace and courage in such hard times only shows what an incredible person you are!
Posted 10-25-2018 at 08:26 AM by IceMaiden
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Yayyyyyyyy!! Thank you all for being so nice! I really love this place.
Posted 10-25-2018 at 08:58 AM by Happy Me
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I never know what to say when I read something like this. It seems like you, probaby, have heard it all. Anyway, I'm not good with words, so I tried to put some lines together. I hope they are to your liking and you will smile while reading.
To all the rainbows
I have walked around the globe
Lurked the darkes caves from pole to pole
Defeated highest peaks from north to south
Without sparing my finest dress
Seeking youngest one to speak
Oh boy, oh my sweet little boy
Satisfy my greed
Tell me now what did you feel
When I forced my hands throught clouds unyielding
Touched your heart with smile healing
Oh girl, oh my sweet little girl
End my restless days
Tell me now what did you feel
When I filled your eyes with joy
Unwavering throught rains and cold
You silly, clueless thing
No child can answer that
Too magnicifent you are
You fill their souls with joy
Not tale and mastery of words
I may be old and my senses dull
But mind still sharp and full of lore
Without emotion
Fantastic little thing
I will give you what you seek
Sorcery and magic
Wonders in this world
Proudness in my father eye
While explaining what you are
That is what you give
Pot of gold
And it doesn't matter if it's out of reach
Not to mention your biggest fan
The double rainbow guy
That is what you givePosted 10-25-2018 at 10:25 AM by DianaAu
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DianaAu that was really beautiful,thank you so much for posting it
now little bean i love you so much,and like i say you're so strong and i'm SO proud of you every day
Posted 10-25-2018 at 10:55 AM by imakward
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DianaAu that was so beautiful!! Thank you so much!! It did make me smile a lot of times!
Posted 10-25-2018 at 11:51 AM by Happy Me
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What you're going through is rough and, like Jaro, I had no clue. Your happy sunshine rays were too powerful in brightening the chat room for me to notice. I'm sorry you're going through this.
You're one cool rainbow. Stay strong. And lots of fuzzy warm hugs your way. I'll even get my roommate's kitty to send some nuzzles over.Posted 10-25-2018 at 03:47 PM by Blue Fox
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Awwwwwww thank you Blue Fox!
Posted 10-25-2018 at 03:48 PM by Happy Me
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Hearing things like this is never easy, but it important for you to get this message out and for people to understand better what you are going through, I have only known you for a short time, but that time has been special, you are one of the big reasons sites like this work and keep going.
Your positivity in the face of adversity is truly inspiring and you will always have a friend in me.
I know there is nothing I can do to help in the real world, but if you ever want me to do anything on this site to help you just say the word, any way I can bring a smile to your face just drop me a message, any support I can give just ask, you are in good company herePosted 10-25-2018 at 07:15 PM by Bloxo
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Bloxo, I am so glad you and I started talking! And thank you so much for the kind words.
Posted 10-25-2018 at 07:21 PM by Happy Me
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Happy Meee, you really have made this little corner of the internet a wonderful and better place (along with all the other dedicated staff). I know you gave me memories i will long remember and still fond of to this day. your avatar is iconic on this site. you are a legend and a goddess <3Posted 09-14-2021 at 08:03 PM by naked_lego
