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Vulnerable

Posted 06-10-2018 at 04:31 AM by CSasha

I never wore short trousers before. At least not as far as I can remember. Maybe when I was a child. Last time I remember when I was in my 20s and my girl friend tried to make me wear these. And I cried.

Well, I have changed over the years. I still have a hard time to open up to others and leave my safe corner. But I am trying. So getting into trying to look more sexy (which includes some work out I am very lazy on), I started to wear the one beige short trousers I kept hidden deep inside my wardrobe. I guess my mother bought for me decades ago. It wasn't too bad except getting remarks about football/soccer at work, when I combined it with overknee-socks, and remarks about boy scouts with normal socks. The warm weather here made them pay off on the other side.

So while these old shorts are wide and still long, I now bought tighter and shorter ones. Today I went out to buy bread-rolls for breakfast with my husband. I wore a normal t-shirt, one of the new short, tight trousers, slipper socks and sandals (also recently bought because I didn't have or wear these), plus a nice neutral, black, small purse/handbag since I figured out while having my wallet and keys right in the pocket of my trousers is highly practical and safe, it definitely doesn't look sexy.

Though there weren't that many people I felt vulnerable like never before. So much exposed skin. My last waxing session on my butt and legs was two or three weeks ago. I felt insecure even about the look of my face. I had so much skin exposed I felt free but also very sensitive and open that my mind wandered off to being insulted, harassed, verbally or physically attacked. But not the tiniest bit in that direction happened. I guess I have to become used to it and make good experience with encounters of resistance from the idiots and assholes of the world.
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Total Comments 2

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Butterfly's Avatar
    Kudos to you for stepping outside of your comfort zone!!!
    Posted 06-10-2018 at 10:30 AM by Butterfly Butterfly is offline
  2. Old Comment
    420jenni's Avatar
    You will always be your harshest judge, and it can be tough to stand up to yourself! Congratulations on finding the courage to do it Sometimes I get very self-conscious about things like not wearing makeup very often (it itches), having messy hair (it thick), or just looking like a massive queer or dressing in anything besides pants and t's - but I don't think anyone has ever called me out on any of those.
    Posted 06-19-2018 at 08:30 PM by 420jenni 420jenni is offline
 

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