A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Update
Posted 02-02-2019 at 07:35 PM by Butterfly
Well ... this year is not starting out super great, but I thought I would give you all an update anyways ...
Christmas
Mr. Devious had an amazing Christmas holidays together. We spent 6 days without even leaving the house. We just go to relax and spend time together watching movies and literally not even leaving bed other than to eat or use the bathroom most days.
Christmas eve we put on our matching Christmas pjs and had a relaxing night getting ready for Santa to come.
On Christmas morning, I was obviously spoiled (as Princess' should be). Little Butterfly got new crayons, a unicorn onesie, sticker book and stickers, slippers, story book. Big butterfly got a shower radio, an estim dildo and some things for work.
Of course our 10 days off seemed to go by WAY too fast, as holidays usually do.
Surgery
I returned to work for about a week and a half and then it was time for me to have my surgery. I was scheduled to have an ovarian cyst (rather large at 10cm x 10cm x 8cm) removed from my left ovary.
The morning of the surgery, the anesthesiologist decided that he was concerned about being able to intubate me while I was asleep. So they were going to be safe and do it while I WAS AWAKE!!! They also informed me that morning that while I was scheduled for a day surgery only, they were going to keep me over night instead.
This was not a pleasant experience in any way! Intubating me was a 4 step process, starting with nasal spray to freeze the back of my throat, followed by deep throating a plastic piece of equipment covered in freezing gel (twice!!!) then having a camera inserted into my esophagus and spraying my vocal chords with freezing, which btw feels like you are drowning. And lastly, inserting the camera again, with the tube over top, basically blocking your entire airway while you cough and gag and can't breathe. Of course all of this is happening while I am strapped to the operating table having IVs put into both of my arms. Honestly, I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy.
After the surgery went pretty well. I didn't feel nauseous at all and actually staying over at the hospital went pretty well. I was in a lot of pain, but it was managed with morphine (which btw I learned I LOVE). I had 5 incisions all together. 4 were pretty tiny, but the 5th was a bit larger and REALLY bruised. Mr. Devious bought me a unicorn and a sloth stuffy to make me feel better.
I also found out that the cyst was fully removed but damaged my fallopion tube, which means that my chances of conceiving have decreased a bit more. It was an upsetting blow, but after I heal we are going to address this and start working on a plan.
After being released from the hospital, I was able to manage the pain pretty well and returned to work after 2 weeks off.
My moms visit
My mom flew here from Ontario to be with me during my surgery and recovery. It really was so comforting to have my mom with me. I missed her so much and only get to see her once a year usually.
Before my surgery we made sure to do a few things: a paint night, hot tub night with the girls, and some sight seeing. We didn't let me surgery stop us from enjoying our time together. We went to a movie, did a mother daughter photo shoot (including hair and makeup), and had a wonderful drive through the mountains. Of course we also sat around the house, watched movies, played games and talked lots as well.
I have to say that my favorite part of her being here was driving around with her, singing music, talking, and just being together. I really miss those simple moments with her.
House fire
My mom left this past Monday to return to Ontario. After an awful travel day due to the weather, and getting stuck on her plane for 9.5 hours (the flight was originally only supposed to be just under 4 hours), she returned home safely.
We both returned to work and then on Thursday I receive a call ... my mom is on the other end screaming and crying. There were flames coming out of her windows. Her apartment was on fire.
The damage was extensive. It started in her living room, cause unknown. But my mom and brother lost almost everything they owned. And of course there was no insurance, because who thinks this will happen to them?
Today they did a walk around of the apartment, putting me on video chat so that I could be there with them. We were all an awful emotional mess seeing the destruction.
One of the biggest losses was our kitties. Baby was 14 years old, and Dolly was only a year. We were able to salvage some of the important things: my moms tablet and laptop, memory bins that my mom put together for both brothers with their baby books and childhood keepsakes, a closet full of clothes for my mom, a china cabinet that was my nanas .... and then some other things that we may be able to salvage if they can be cleaned ... some dishes, etc. Everything else is gone.
You don't realize how attached you are to "stuff". I cried when my wedding dress bag was opened and it was a black mess. I know we are lucky. This could have been WAY worse, but it is still hard to see the destruction. The photos crushed on the ground ...
Anyways ... we are in rebuild mode. I have started a gofundme page, reaching out to local resources for help ... it is slow going but I am doing everything I can from here.
If nothing else, this has brought my family closer together.
My mom was placed in a shitty, sketchy little motel and last night we spent 2 hours, my two brothers, my mom and I, just sitting on skype, chatting, laughing, crying, and being there together. We have each other, and that is what is important. That is what I need to hold onto right now.
Oh ... and ps. my mom is considering moving here ... might as well ... she will save a bundle on moving costs ...
Anyways .. thank you for listening to my update. I hope next one is a bit more positive.
Christmas
Mr. Devious had an amazing Christmas holidays together. We spent 6 days without even leaving the house. We just go to relax and spend time together watching movies and literally not even leaving bed other than to eat or use the bathroom most days.
Christmas eve we put on our matching Christmas pjs and had a relaxing night getting ready for Santa to come.
On Christmas morning, I was obviously spoiled (as Princess' should be). Little Butterfly got new crayons, a unicorn onesie, sticker book and stickers, slippers, story book. Big butterfly got a shower radio, an estim dildo and some things for work.
Of course our 10 days off seemed to go by WAY too fast, as holidays usually do.
Surgery
I returned to work for about a week and a half and then it was time for me to have my surgery. I was scheduled to have an ovarian cyst (rather large at 10cm x 10cm x 8cm) removed from my left ovary.
The morning of the surgery, the anesthesiologist decided that he was concerned about being able to intubate me while I was asleep. So they were going to be safe and do it while I WAS AWAKE!!! They also informed me that morning that while I was scheduled for a day surgery only, they were going to keep me over night instead.
This was not a pleasant experience in any way! Intubating me was a 4 step process, starting with nasal spray to freeze the back of my throat, followed by deep throating a plastic piece of equipment covered in freezing gel (twice!!!) then having a camera inserted into my esophagus and spraying my vocal chords with freezing, which btw feels like you are drowning. And lastly, inserting the camera again, with the tube over top, basically blocking your entire airway while you cough and gag and can't breathe. Of course all of this is happening while I am strapped to the operating table having IVs put into both of my arms. Honestly, I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy.
After the surgery went pretty well. I didn't feel nauseous at all and actually staying over at the hospital went pretty well. I was in a lot of pain, but it was managed with morphine (which btw I learned I LOVE). I had 5 incisions all together. 4 were pretty tiny, but the 5th was a bit larger and REALLY bruised. Mr. Devious bought me a unicorn and a sloth stuffy to make me feel better.
I also found out that the cyst was fully removed but damaged my fallopion tube, which means that my chances of conceiving have decreased a bit more. It was an upsetting blow, but after I heal we are going to address this and start working on a plan.
After being released from the hospital, I was able to manage the pain pretty well and returned to work after 2 weeks off.
My moms visit
My mom flew here from Ontario to be with me during my surgery and recovery. It really was so comforting to have my mom with me. I missed her so much and only get to see her once a year usually.
Before my surgery we made sure to do a few things: a paint night, hot tub night with the girls, and some sight seeing. We didn't let me surgery stop us from enjoying our time together. We went to a movie, did a mother daughter photo shoot (including hair and makeup), and had a wonderful drive through the mountains. Of course we also sat around the house, watched movies, played games and talked lots as well.
I have to say that my favorite part of her being here was driving around with her, singing music, talking, and just being together. I really miss those simple moments with her.
House fire
My mom left this past Monday to return to Ontario. After an awful travel day due to the weather, and getting stuck on her plane for 9.5 hours (the flight was originally only supposed to be just under 4 hours), she returned home safely.
We both returned to work and then on Thursday I receive a call ... my mom is on the other end screaming and crying. There were flames coming out of her windows. Her apartment was on fire.
The damage was extensive. It started in her living room, cause unknown. But my mom and brother lost almost everything they owned. And of course there was no insurance, because who thinks this will happen to them?
Today they did a walk around of the apartment, putting me on video chat so that I could be there with them. We were all an awful emotional mess seeing the destruction.
One of the biggest losses was our kitties. Baby was 14 years old, and Dolly was only a year. We were able to salvage some of the important things: my moms tablet and laptop, memory bins that my mom put together for both brothers with their baby books and childhood keepsakes, a closet full of clothes for my mom, a china cabinet that was my nanas .... and then some other things that we may be able to salvage if they can be cleaned ... some dishes, etc. Everything else is gone.
You don't realize how attached you are to "stuff". I cried when my wedding dress bag was opened and it was a black mess. I know we are lucky. This could have been WAY worse, but it is still hard to see the destruction. The photos crushed on the ground ...
Anyways ... we are in rebuild mode. I have started a gofundme page, reaching out to local resources for help ... it is slow going but I am doing everything I can from here.
If nothing else, this has brought my family closer together.
My mom was placed in a shitty, sketchy little motel and last night we spent 2 hours, my two brothers, my mom and I, just sitting on skype, chatting, laughing, crying, and being there together. We have each other, and that is what is important. That is what I need to hold onto right now.
Oh ... and ps. my mom is considering moving here ... might as well ... she will save a bundle on moving costs ...
Anyways .. thank you for listening to my update. I hope next one is a bit more positive.
Total Comments 8
Comments
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Let me know if there is anything I can do for yall <3Posted 02-02-2019 at 08:18 PM by minimarshmellow 
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Oh my, a fire sounds bad.
Wish you and your family the best to recover from this.Posted 02-02-2019 at 08:32 PM by CSasha
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That is a positive spin at the end. Best time to consider moving. And you may be happier with your momma there.
Just happy that your family is safe. That is the main thing.
Hope that things start to improve soon for you.Posted 02-02-2019 at 09:30 PM by Blue Fox
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Someone I know had a fallopian tube problem and adopted a lovely child because she did not want to opt for IVF but there are a few I know who had infertility issues and went for IVF and have beautiful healthy kids now, some have twins, it did not happen in the first and second try but in their last attempt. These things take a lot of (years of) patience and optimism (even if you know rationally how less likely it is) because that optimism (I know you wrote a blog against it
and respect your reasons) and that small ray of hope is what gives you strength to face the obstacles otherwise there's no point. And more often than it should be mathematically likely, your struggles pay off and when it does it is totally worth it. Wish you lots of luck
Posted 02-02-2019 at 09:35 PM by nina@
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I had tears where you started posting about your mum. Once again making me realise most of the things I won't get to have with my own, since she's passed. The sadness and longing will always be there because physically I no longer have my mum but I know she's here, always in my heart.
To get back to my point, I've told my dad, on numerous occassions, we should start making backups of our memories and have a suitcase and "stuff" ready for in the event we had to evacute in haste.
About 2 years ago, we had a big fire that came close to our house, but luckily they could contain it. You really don't know how and what you have until it happens to you.
Good luck with everything and I have a positive feeling this year can and will only get better for you from this point on. I command it! Thank you for sharing and being so open with people you don't know.Posted 02-02-2019 at 11:17 PM by Foxy Rose
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I am so sorry to hear. I hope youre feeling better after you surgery, and your family is in my thoughts <3 if theres anything we can do let us know.Posted 02-03-2019 at 01:14 AM by Peachybaby
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Good lord. I'm so sorry for all of your struggles. I'm glad you are keeping an eye on the importance of family. You will be in our thoughts. I'm glad mr. Devious is such a good support for you. ~ HiraethPosted 02-03-2019 at 05:28 AM by Anchorsaway
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Having family with you is always good. I’m glad you guys managed to salvage some stuff and best of wishes to recovering from this. Also congratulations on the cyst surgery. Despite all the fuck yous life has been throwing at you recently you’re being super strong about it, that’s a very admirable quality I wish I had more.Posted 02-03-2019 at 12:50 PM by Point0fView
