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Q&A with Jaro & Butterfly Part 2

Posted 08-29-2018 at 11:50 AM by Butterfly

Continued from Part 1 here

Quote:
Originally Posted by sciencegal
If given the opportunity, would you want to live a 24/7 lifestyle as a sub/slave (i.e., you would always be in a submissive role to a live-in dominant)? Assume that any financial burdens will be taken care of and not a limiting factor.

My initial reaction to this question would be ‘yes’. This has been a fantasy of mine since I started getting into this whole kink thing. Save for one instance with a professional Domme, I have never experienced real life play so I am totally intrigued by it and I have always been thinking a 24/7 owned life would suit me very well.

However… giving this some more critical thought that is actually done with my bigger head, the honest answer is probably a bit more nuanced. Yes, I still think I would very much enjoy a real life D/s relationship. By now I’m wondering if I could actually enjoy a purely vanilla relationship. But 24/7 live-in? I think I want to still be owned 24/7, but not actually live together and I want full breaks from D/s as well. I value my privacy and living together full time is something I never really wanted. Also, I think having breaks sometimes is just healthy.

Still… she would get the key of course and she could even install a spy cam in every room of my house.

I WANT THIS!!!!!

I think… I might have to change my mind about this. While I certainly trust Miss, I do not trust technology!

This is harder for me to answer because I really think that in order to be happy, I need to have a balance between being a Domme and a sub and I just don’t think that would work in a 24/7 relationship since I can’t switch with the same partner.

Also, I have found, since living with Mr. Devious, that it is REALLY hard to balance real life things: work, social life, chores, romance etc. with rules, kink and playtime. As much as I would love periods where I would be subby 24/7, I don’t think I could do it long term, at least not with somebody I love. If given the opportunity, I would like to try this for a week or maybe even a month, but otherwise I don’t think I am interested as a sub.


Oh just a week or a month fully 24/7 would still be hot and I would do that!

I think I would have an easier time having a live in slave/sub who I am not romantically involved with. But again, like Jaro said, I think I would need regular breaks and alone time. I personally don’t think that a true 24/7 thing is very feasible for long term without breaks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naked_lego
Let's pretend we lived in a world were nudity and sexual activity outside the bedroom wasn't a crime. So BDSM relationships could extend to public areas and the fear of getting a criminal record would be gone. It was just kind of common to see. With that, there would be no scaring of the younger people. Also, there would be an age restriction to 18 (or legal adult age) for participation. Because of this, do you think the scene would change? Do you think you would be more open about it? Should it be restricted from certain places? Might this world impact other kinks to? ...Why?
For me I don’t think much would change. While I often fantasize about things like just going grocery shopping naked or having Miss walk me through the park on a leash, even if it were acceptable people are still people and being people they are very judgemental.

If it were acceptable to do this, you bet your ass I would be walking you through the streets naked :P

Tattoos aren’t illegal either but too many people still judge people negatively for having them. Besides, I still don’t ever want my friends and family finding out that I’m into this. I’m very private about my kinks and I still often feel ashamed about them.

I feel like in a world that has adapted to this type of society, people would be less judgemental, and that the norm would change which would lead to society as a whole as being more accepting. Therefore maybe people in general would be less ashamed of their kinks.

Yes this is true: it would help in getting more people less judgemental, which is one reason why I actually think it would be a good idea to lift a lot of the restrictions now in place. But a large group of people will always stay judgemental or might become even more so I think.

However, as a sub, I would still be pretty shy about my body and would not want others to see me naked etc. But I would absolutely love to be able to be ordered to do things in public to make me blushy. For example to ask permission to pee while at dinner with friends, or to use my sucky while out at a movie.

I feel like people who get off on being “naughty” and seen in public might actually get bored quicker since it would be viewed as more normal.


Yes that’s very true. When something becomes the norm it usually loses a lot of its appeal. However that doesn’t apply to exposed female feet, in my humble opinion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeff10145
As they like to say in a favorite Kink podcast of mine, What was your radioactive spider bite into kink? (How did you discover kink?)
The first time I ever learned about BDSM was while watching an episode of CSI. It was about a BDSM club and some man was killed because he was accidentally strangled. It was the bondage and control that truly caught my eye and when the episode was over I went to google and started to research.

The first site I came across was dee and mick luvbight, or something like that. The pictures turned me on so much and thus started my obsession with kink. I didn’t watch porn for a few years, but I fell into a rabbit hole of pictures and stories, and with that started to create my own fantasies and have some amazing orgasms.


Through the internet and porn I think. I am not sure when, but ever since I got internet I found out about all the stuff that my parents never told me. Obviously I then discovered that BDSM exists as well but it took a long time before I developed any interest in trying it for myself.

One day I got brave and bought a butt plug, my very first toy. I actually bought it in a physical store! It was around the same time that I begun tying myself up with rope and chains. This was well before I knew about getDare or even FetLife. I enjoyed it and eventually I discovered this site and found out that it was a BDSM site - whereas initially I thought it was just Truth or Dare.

My first toy was a butt plug as well. I ordered one online when I moved out in college. At that time I had found a Dom who was looking for a live in sub in my city. Instead, I asked if he would mentor me online. He started to give me some simple tasks for me to start exploring some of my different interests/kinks.

A little later I visited a professional Domme for some light CBT and foot fetish and some time after that I met Miss Butterfly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonn
Jaro: what are your thoughts on being topped by two people?
Butterfly: how do you like sharing a sub?
I was already so lucky being topped by just one and after responding to Miss Icey’s ad I got two. Not only is it hot, it can be very helpful from a practical point as well. When Miss Butterfly isn’t around, Miss Icey can be and vice versa. They can also bounce ideas off one another and give me more tasks.

This is one of the biggest advantages in my opinion. It takes a lot of pressure off me as a Domme to know that 1. I can take a break if needed and 2. I have somebody to be my sounding board for ideas.

I am not a Domme by nature (even though it does seem to come pretty easily to me at times) and so sometimes I just get burnt out! Or there are times where I just know I won’t have the time or privacy to give Jaro the care that he deserves. This is where I can lean on Icey to be around more, or we can come up with a plan together to give him some pre planned tasks.


I was scared at first that it would become overwhelming though. Just one Miss torturing me can be hard enough so what about two!? But thankfully it isn’t too much. My Misses are both very busy and both in D/s relationships of their own as well. So I think that there is a pretty good balance.

Jaro has a lot more free time than Icey and I do even combined. So I think having two of us to one of him actually works out really well.

Icey and I also like different kinks. This is really helpful because some of Jaro’s likes (ie. degradation) are limits of mine, and he is also curious about trying things, like CBT, that really aren’t much interest to me. It works great that Icey can fulfill those needs


Definitely! I feel that combined, the both of you cater the almost all my kinks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pet monkey
How real 'really' is the blackmail aspect of your relationship? If Jaro has the option, even at the very end' to safeword out of exposure, is there really a threat? Does something happen if he does safeword out? Is the relationship over? Is that the real threat? I'm not questioning your sincerity, just curious.
If Jaro uses the safeword then the entire relationship ends. We will all part ways (as friends). He will lose the opportunity to be Dommed by two very well known and (if I do say so myself) amazing Domme’s. Because of this, I think that at the end of the day, Jaro really needs to weigh his options and see what he wants. The end result is going to be life changing no matter what he chooses, and that I think is the real “threat”.

Yes that one single consequence is indeed a real threat. So in practice I can’t safeword out of exposure. At least not if I want the relationship to continue.

But then: considering how serious actual exposure could be and the fact that my Misses do NOT want to ruin me, we have other ‘safety’ measures in place. I get 2 ‘normal’ albeit very harsh punishments first and also I will be warned if it comes to the point when not following through would actually expose me. I can then still go through with whatever it is I had to do to avoid it.

Yes, we DO NOT want to ruin Jaro’s life. We are quite fond of him at this point and would never want to do anything to harm him. However, we are also very serious with going through with the exposure if needed. We have all agreed that this is what we want. And if we weren’t willing to go through with it, the threat would just be empty and there would be no blackmail.

But I think that just makes it more safe and not any less real. If my Misses give me an extreme task that I really do not want to do but I can do: then I must do it or else I will be exposed or the relationship will end. I think that is very real.
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  1. Old Comment
    naked_lego's Avatar
    What a great read!
    Posted 08-30-2018 at 05:19 PM by naked_lego naked_lego is offline
 

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