Then and Now.
Posted 10-19-2016 at 03:29 PM by IceMaiden
15 months ago:
I would never...believe I could do even half of the stuff I have achieved since then.
I would never...be comfortable sending pictures.
I would never...even dream about sending a video.
I would never...be brave enough to turn on mic, much less my camera.
I would never...believe I could overcome my addictions.
I would never...believe I would ever be a healthy weight.
I would never...be comfortable in my own skin.
I would never...believe I was worth anything.
I would never...believe anyone could love me.
And now.
I know...I can do anything I set my mind to, even if it's difficult.
I know... I enjoy sending pictures to him.
I know...I enjoy sending surprise videos to him.
I know...It feels strange when my camera isn't on.
I know...I have beaten my addictions.
I know...the number on the scale doesn't matter.
I know...I am getting there slowly, I am beginning to be comfortable being myself.
I know...I am worth more than I ever thought I was.
I know...I am loveable.
A lot can happen in 15 months. Amazing things can happen in that time if you have someone who truly loves you and believes in you. Who encourages and guides you and stays around even during the bad times. Someone who not only tells you that you are worth more, but shows you that you are.
Thank you for guiding me. For encouraging me. For supporting me. For showing me I am worth so much more than the things I did to myself for so many years. For teaching me better ways to deal with negative thoughts than self destructive coping mechanisms.
Thank you, for always, always, believing in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. Even when i tried to push you away. Thank you for pushing back until you made sure I knew you would always be right my side, through both the good and bad.
Thank you for teaching me, for always being there, for being my biggest supporter. Thank you for being my Master, my Daddy, my friend, my confidant, my advisor, my therapist.
Thank you, for loving me.
I would never...believe I could do even half of the stuff I have achieved since then.
I would never...be comfortable sending pictures.
I would never...even dream about sending a video.
I would never...be brave enough to turn on mic, much less my camera.
I would never...believe I could overcome my addictions.
I would never...believe I would ever be a healthy weight.
I would never...be comfortable in my own skin.
I would never...believe I was worth anything.
I would never...believe anyone could love me.
And now.
I know...I can do anything I set my mind to, even if it's difficult.
I know... I enjoy sending pictures to him.
I know...I enjoy sending surprise videos to him.
I know...It feels strange when my camera isn't on.
I know...I have beaten my addictions.
I know...the number on the scale doesn't matter.
I know...I am getting there slowly, I am beginning to be comfortable being myself.
I know...I am worth more than I ever thought I was.
I know...I am loveable.
A lot can happen in 15 months. Amazing things can happen in that time if you have someone who truly loves you and believes in you. Who encourages and guides you and stays around even during the bad times. Someone who not only tells you that you are worth more, but shows you that you are.
Thank you for guiding me. For encouraging me. For supporting me. For showing me I am worth so much more than the things I did to myself for so many years. For teaching me better ways to deal with negative thoughts than self destructive coping mechanisms.
Thank you, for always, always, believing in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. Even when i tried to push you away. Thank you for pushing back until you made sure I knew you would always be right my side, through both the good and bad.
Thank you for teaching me, for always being there, for being my biggest supporter. Thank you for being my Master, my Daddy, my friend, my confidant, my advisor, my therapist.
Thank you, for loving me.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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That's pretty amazing, he seems like a great master.Posted 10-19-2016 at 03:36 PM by bleonav06 
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No. Thank you. You give me credit for thinking the best of you, for believing in you. That isn't a hardship or a chore, it is simply the ability to see the truth. I don't know why nobody told you before what is so glaringly obvious. (Actually I do, you always had a habit of choosing pricks - this prick is just slightly different.)
But I don't need, or feel i deserve "thanks" for loving and looking after you. You provide me with so much joy, laughter, satisfaction (the occasional headache.)
I told you just recently that you complete me. That looking after you gives my life purpose. So if anyone should be thanking anyone, it should be me thanking you for being mine, for putting up with a grumpy old bear like me. Of course, i won't thank you, because... I am me. But I will acknowledge that I should.
I love you princess. Let's see what you can do in 15 months from now.
Posted 10-19-2016 at 03:36 PM by AbusiveMaster
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I love the two of you together. I love that AM has been able to make you feel safe and secure enough to allow you to discover who you truly are and what you are truly capable of. It was always inside of you all along, it just took the right person to make you see it.
I know AM doesn't feel like he needs any thanks and doesn't want to take any credit but I do believe she couldn't have done it without you. She needed you to believe in her so she could believe in herself. And look a the difference it has made.
Love you both ♡Posted 10-19-2016 at 09:19 PM by Butterfly
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Quote:Originally Posted by bleonav06
That's pretty amazing, he seems like a great master.
He's the bestest
I only give you headaches when I have to scream at you until you realize you're wrong about something, so stop being wrong and you wont have any headaches.Quote:Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster
No. Thank you. You give me credit for thinking the best of you, for believing in you. That isn't a hardship or a chore, it is simply the ability to see the truth. I don't know why nobody told you before what is so glaringly obvious. (Actually I do, you always had a habit of choosing pricks - this prick is just slightly different.)
But I don't need, or feel i deserve "thanks" for loving and looking after you. You provide me with so much joy, laughter, satisfaction (the occasional headache.)
I told you just recently that you complete me. That looking after you gives my life purpose. So if anyone should be thanking anyone, it should be me thanking you for being mine, for putting up with a grumpy old bear like me. Of course, i won't thank you, because... I am me. But I will acknowledge that I should.
I love you princess. Let's see what you can do in 15 months from now.
You do deserve it, it might have been there all the time but I would never have seen it without your help.
You're far from grumpy. You're amazing, loving, encouraging, sweet. I'm going to destroy your reputation again, aren't I? Shit, I mean you're really scary and grumpy. Not.
Love and miss you <3 <3Quote:Originally Posted by Butterfly
I love the two of you together. I love that AM has been able to make you feel safe and secure enough to allow you to discover who you truly are and what you are truly capable of. It was always inside of you all along, it just took the right person to make you see it.
Awwwwh thank you! <3
I know AM doesn't feel like he needs any thanks and doesn't want to take any credit but I do believe she couldn't have done it without you. She needed you to believe in her so she could believe in herself. And look a the difference it has made.
^Exactly!
Love you both ♡Posted 10-21-2016 at 02:54 PM by IceMaiden
