How to Get Over a Subdrop

Just so you know, this won't actually teach you how to stop subdropping, why you drop, or how to get over a subdrop. The title is a lie.

For those of you who don't know, subdropping is something that happens to (you guessed it) submissives after a scene.

The most common subdrop I know of is caused by an endorphin rush after a scene finishes. The sub is usually filled with intense emotion either by climax, pleasing their dom, or anything else that can happen in subspace. Unfortunately, once they crash, the sub can also subdrop.

Subdropping is different for everyone, but something you will hear often is that the sub will become extremely upset, depressed, and may even start crying. Sometimes the sub will become very aggressive and rude, but the most common thing most subs agree on is that they will feel worthless or like they did something wrong.

Subs tend to blow things out of proportion when they are in this state and something that they would usually brush off can have them sobbing for a while.

As I said, each sub is different so each subdrop is different. So, don't go trying to prevent a subdrop when you have no idea what you're doing because what worked for one sub may not work for another.

Common things that can help prevent subdrops (but always talk to your submissive) aren't too difficult to do once a scene ends.

Be nice.
Sounds simple enough, right? But so many doms forget exactly what they just put another human being through. Tell your sub how amazing they were in that scene, even if something went wrong. Even if they safeworded! Especially if they safeworded. Be specific on what they did right. They were fantastic with communicating, they were so smart for asking that question, or they made you so proud when they did this task, when they pushed themselves for you. Make sure your sub knows that they were flawless, even if it's a lie. In the morning, when they are less likely to drop, go over a few critiques you have, but right after a scene just be as positive as possible. Let them know you're thrilled with how everything turned out.

Be concerned.
Sometimes, a sub just needs to rant about something that happened. Maybe they realized something you said affected them in a negative way. Be willing to listen to them talk about their feelings and why they think they reacted the way they did. Gently remind them to drink some water or eat something. Ask them if they are okay or if everything was perfect for them. Ask what you can do better or what needed to change. Make sure to get feedback.

Leave them alone.
Some subs just need time alone to process what happened. Sometimes they need to just cry and get it out of their system. Be willing to give them their space and if you're concerned about how they are feeling, just check in, do not try to force them to talk to you when they ask for space.

If they still drop, which can totally happen and it doesn't mean the scene was bad or they the dom was bad or that they are bad, try to communicate and see what they need. Remind them that you care for them and that they can trust you. Make them laugh.

Now is not a good time to force them to do something they don't enjoy or are nervous about. If your sub is more comfortable texting, don't try to call them. Don't pester them, just check in and remind them that you are there and that they can lean on you if they need to.

If you subdrop, don't worry. No one is mad at you. Breathe and drink some water. Eat something if you haven't and remember that subdropping happens and that it is no one's fault.

Communicate with your partner and remember that aftercare is important.

Happy hunting.