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My vision of the responsibilities as a dominant.

Posted 10-17-2018 at 04:45 PM by imakward
Updated 10-17-2018 at 05:56 PM by imakward

I Set apart My Moral/Ethical Responsibilities in two Categories which are BDSM and Everything Else,they do intertwine in certain points.

BDSM - so for this part thy key Responsibilities are:

1. Slow but steady:

- I don't like rushing to long intense sessions,especially when you just begin with someone you need to take your time and build it up and learn which aspects you can push and when you can push them,it also its a huge factor of gaining trust and letting your submissive know that you care for them.

2.AFTERCARE :

-I wrote this one in caps,because it is one of the most important responsibilities as a Dominant,this is the time when you tell and show how proud you are of them how grateful you are for their vulnerability and submission which they gave you and trusted you with,and give them all the loving words ,Aftercare is a mandatory thing after every session,preferably in a cuddling position.

2.1 LONG DISTANCE AFTERCARE :

- Now as we know a lot of people are separated by Long distance and i thought i would cover this one and how i do it,
The very first thing is presence,you don't disappear just because you both came or just you did it,aftercare is the very next step in the play session,
now you should tell your submissive to get a comfort object,for my girl its a stuffy,i know some people use a t-shirt or blanket that you both used when you visited,or just that reminds you of your Dom,also if you hold the given object while you just casually talk or laugh or watch anything helps with building good associations and make the object itself more comforting when you need it.,
also something to drink,that is very important not only after the play but during it,so you can drink a juice or water when you need it,liquids are good.
Now comes the part that sometimes the drop is bigger and if you can't talk on a app ,a recording with your voice can be huge for your submissive,and they recording needs to be simply loving words and a comforting voice,reminding that your submissive is not only a sex object.


3. Talk about it:

-Talking is the key factor of successful D/S relationships ,at the beginning of your relationship and later,talking about each session is key to understanding your submissive and what you can push on the next session or what new to try,and when you try something new,their thoughts about it,

4. Safety:

- You need to keep your submissive safe all the time,that's when you need to research everything new for you and anything you are not sure of,decide what safe words to use,make sure to reassure your submissive that is important and helpful to say if there is something wrong ,or if they are worried about a certain aspect of the thing you decide to do


5.Adventure:

You always should look for new and exciting things to try with your submissive,and think of different fun things,after the clothes are off,You want to make sure your submissive will be eager and excited for each session ,doing the same things for time to time is not a bad thing,but putting a little twist in it can make all the big difference.

Those are the most important responsibilities for BDSM part for me.


Now for the Everything else Category:

1,Foundation and Trust:


-This is when you first decide to be in a D/S relationship ,now your job as a Dominant is to build the trust by being respectful patient and understanding to your submissive,they will need time to slowly open themself and be more vulnerable to you,after all they are sharing something that makes them sensitive and can easily hurt them,and that is a big trust they give you,so you should give the same in their way,also showing interested in their personal life and goals which you can help achieve.

2.Positive Domination:

-Being a Dominant is not only about the sexual part,you need to be a positive force in the life of your submissive,help them become the best version of themself,make them see what a wonderful person they are by showing them their best qualities,remind them to take their meds,food,water making sure they stay healthy and take care of themself,and don't slack on it.

3.Rules:

-Now i didn't put this one in my BDSM section because i think the rules are for both sections,but more so on the "Everything else" category for me,because i think their should be made for a positive influence,for example i am extremely proud of me and of Happy Me because i was able to make her stop smoking,which was very hard on her ,but it was worth it.
Rules are a vital part of the dynamic,and are a amazing tool which is also a big responsibility,because you also need to enforce them,and make sure they are followed all the time.

4.Respect and Focus:

You need to clearly show that you Respect your submissive's limits and the wishes you and your submissive have for the relationship you are entering together,Then make sure to show how focused you are in it,no one likes when the person you showed your vulnerable side doesn't show how serious he is about it.

5.Affection/Support/Honesty:

-You need to show that you can give the amount of this that you desire withing your dynamic,and at least enough of it to navigate through aftercare,
Give your support and doing whatever you can to help them deal with problems or obstacles they have,don't forget that you are their Wall they can lean on when they need to.
You need to be 100% Honest ,without Honesty there can't be a any kind of relationship


6.Feelings:

-Making sure that you or your submissive can share your/their feelings without being worried that they will be met by a snarky, defensive or agressive behavior,its important to talk and share about your feelings because that is how you resolve issues and the relationship grows,if they are bottled or pushed down,it can only destroy what you build.



Well that is my thoughts on my Responsibilities.

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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Thank you for such an inspiring article
    Posted 10-17-2018 at 05:03 PM by Bloxo Bloxo is offline
  2. Old Comment
    imakward's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Bloxo View Comment
    Thank you for such an inspiring article
    Thank you very much
    Posted 10-17-2018 at 05:36 PM by imakward imakward is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Happy Me's Avatar
    And this is why I feel like the luckiest subby ever, all the time, every day! He doesn't just think this, he actually does it!
    Posted 10-17-2018 at 06:13 PM by Happy Me Happy Me is offline
  4. Old Comment
    imakward's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Happy Me View Comment
    And this is why I feel like the luckiest subby ever, all the time, every day! He doesn't just think this, he actually does it!
    shhhhhhhhhh you make very shy now <3 <3 <3

    Posted 10-18-2018 at 03:46 AM by imakward imakward is offline
 

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