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The Search Begins

Posted 05-08-2019 at 05:08 AM by PrincessJessica

The Search Begins

My search for my next dominant has “officially” begun. After splitting from Sexyred I decided to take my time I properly decide what I wanted before setting off on my search. I’ve replied to a few ads but to no avail so set about writing my ad, although I think my nerves about opening myself up again ooze through Opening yourself up to a world of rejection is a scary position to put yourself into; especially for me when my self-confidence is pretty brittle to begin with.

I’ve already resigned myself to a slow, possibly thankless, search. There've been quite a few ads that appear to have gone nowhere for exciting females despite the most eloquent and exciting adverts. Given the huge imbalance of females to males on here that doesn’t bode well. For males in an array of other males, it’s pretty hard to stand out, even before I cleverly posted my ad at the same time as what seemed to be a boom of male sub adverts. Being a naturally cynical person it’s probably fair to say I’m not beaming with optimism at the moment.

However, I also came to a few realisations when writing my ad. Firstly, I would be happy with a male dom, despite not being physically attracted to males I can very much get turned on by teasing or tasks by males or females equally. I also realised that I wanted to expand a little beyond feminisation mixed with tease and denial. I love exploring and taking the first scary steps into new kinks and there’s probably a limit to how much scope both of them have to be pushed further within my current living arrangements/circumstances. I’m not quite sure if being open to new things increase the odds of finding a match or just makes me seem wishy-washy and uncertain what I want, time will tell I guess.

That being said I’m already pretty horny & desperate to be owned, opening myself up to public cams a few times this week and making my denial unnecessarily awkward for myself. In fact, this denial spell also makes me realise that, for longer denial spells, I would rather need a dominant to guide & tease me through it. Doing it without that support has been more mentally challenging as it’s got tougher, although I love that build up of energy it seems far less meaningful when I’m not directly giving it up for someone else. I’m missing the feeling of being submissive but also the support that provides as I explore my kinks; the many cam sessions with voyeurs just doesn’t quite tickle my bones enough anymore (even if I enjoy it at the time it just doesn’t match my submissive needs fully).

Luckily it’s not all bad; PM dares have satisfied some of my needs, doing basic tasks for others even has kept me actively kinky as well as just being plain enjoyable to do. It’s also meant I’ve been more involved on GetDare generally which isn’t a bad thing as there’s a fun array of kinksters experimenting with all kinds of things. Indeed even my dominant side has come out to play a little more and it’s been fun trying my hand to setting more regular tasks as well as just being sadistic for sadistic sake (even if sometimes my effort all feels a little wasted with little back, but those reports I have got back have been amazing making it worthwhile).

So while remaining unowned is frustrating, particularly as my denial increases my wants & needs exponentially, there are at least positives to a slow search. It’s much better to spend time and find someone worthwhile than finding an incompatible dom that is bound to go nowhere after all; plus the extra time afforded to me does give me time to explore other things including an increasingly curious dominant side.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Butterfly's Avatar
    I wish you the best of luck in your search!
    Posted 05-08-2019 at 06:47 AM by Butterfly Butterfly is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Consensus's Avatar
    Whoever chooses you will be well pleased, methinks, and if anyone deserves success it is you from what i've read!
    Posted 05-08-2019 at 01:37 PM by Consensus Consensus is offline
 

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