How to be a GetDare Master (male version)

You're so fucking domly it hurts.

Not you, of course, no one's ever going to hurt you. You have no 'real' feelings away from your cock. I mean that it hurts everyone else. When you walk past girls on the street, or stand near them in queues, or invade their personal space in an elevator/lift you just know that your dominant presence is radiating so thoroughly into their panties you're surprised they don't just fall off.

But you just can't seem to translate that Sir-iously fierce domliness from real life into cyberspace. Don't worry - I'm here to help.

A bit about me: I've had over a 4.752e7 - yes a... uhh... lot - of seconds of experience on this site, and in that time had like 4 subs. I now have a real life sub (switch) - and have had past relationships; so I know exactly what it takes.

Step one: Be a dick

Nice guys can't be doms (or switches) - fuck that! You need to show all females who may or may not be looking at your forum posts that you're a bad, bad boy. The kind who's very naughty all the time.

Be constantly dismissive of others, blatantly troll and call all women sluts. Women will laugh because your meanness is so hilarious, but they'll also be wet because it's sexy, and they'll want to know more about you because you're mysterious.

There, you're now a first-class twat. Congrats! I will never like you in real life - that's how domly you are. (I'm, like, sooo intimidated)

Step two: don't follow any rules

You know on the truth forums where it says you have to follow certain rules because that's how the game is played: no-one will ever take you seriously as a dom if you follow those rules.

Rules are submissive. Rules are meant to be followed - and you follow nothing. You're the one who should be followed. Break those rules and establish your dominance over the OP.

Note - this is closely linked to point one, about you being a twat. Good job!

Step three - choose the right images.

Want to look like a total fucknugget? Set your avatar as some women in various stages of bondage, then your profile pic as you shirtless.* The ladies will swoon.**

Extra points if the profile pic isn't of you, but of someone better looking than you.

Step four - Send domly messages

By now you're a high-powered dom with sluts to attend to - you don't have time for chit-chat. Start each message with the words "I read your profile" then just say whatever you need to say to get into their panties after one message. It doesn't mater really, if you say you read their profile they'll believe anything about themselves afterwards:

"Oh, I said I liked exposing myself on cam to strangers? I must have forgotten, silly me! What's that? I lso want to buy toys to play with myself for the enjoyment of this stranger? I've been neglecting my duties, I must go the the Sex & Cam Shop at once!"

Women won't be able to say no to you because women don't know how to say no. They'll only be able to say yes. If they say they don't want to do those things/"no thank you" it must have just been a typo. Persist, and maybe point out their error. She'll come round in 5 minutes.

If she doesn't respond again soon - send loads of gradually more dominant messages until she submits. Try this:

1 - "ur ignoring me coz ur scared"
2 - "bby I got a 10 inch dick and I can send proof. Stop ignoring me n cam liek a smart whore"
3 - "My kik is ansmj (it really is) - send pics of ur boobs and we can begin. My brother works in IT and can hack ur account of you don't and I'll send all ur nudes to all ur friends" (She WILL have nudes)
4 - "YOU'RE A PRUDE SLUT WHOS JUST RUDE FOR NOT RESPONDING WHY U ONLY GO AFTER THE DOUCHBAGS I'M A NICE GUY WAAAAAAA " - Make sure you actually cry for 10 minutes before hitting send).

If she still doesn't respond - ring the police and/or an ambulance, she's probably dead.

5 - Know how to treat her

Of course you managed to defy the odds and get a sub - you're the best ever! Now you need to know how to treat your subs - t's very easy:

1) ask for nudes all the time, after various amounts of edging/spanking
2) ask again
3) no you can't cum
4) ask again

After that you're probably bored of your plaything. The first time she defies you or shows anything less than godlike worship towards you never message her again and instead look for a new thing. Why waste your youth on one human being, when you can insult, harass and leave mental scarring on several young women over the internet?


There you go - you're now the best dom there's ever been. In case you don't quite fit the description above, here are some extra pointers:

If you're a gay/bisexual master - Still only go for female subs because submissive guys are pathetic. Amirite, male domly doms?

If "she" turns out to be a guy - complain about there being no females on the internet, and that the one's who do come on ignore the best doms like you.

If she's not 'Miss World' level beauty - make sure you tell her so - it's the only place she'll learn her place in the world.

If she asks to dom you - NO WAY JOSE - nothing's touching your perfect ass, except for your local priest.

If she asks for pics of you - NO WAY AGAIN - last time you exposed yourself was to Father Jacobs and you needed to go into therapy for 5 years.

That should cover everything!

Go forth and give women ALL the oragsms - but only after you say so!

Do you feel like this skipped a step? Why not see my previous how to - A beginners guide to getDare. That has everything you need to know if you're just starting out here: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?b=75431




Once again, this is not real. DO NOT do this. If you do this I will personally oversee your gruesome death. I have a duck trained for shit like this.

Next time - How to be a (female) Mistress

* I am fully aware this is my profile. That's the joke, numbnuts
** This actually did have a surprising amount of success for me. Then again, I'm sexy as funk.