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Orgasm / Denial Diary

Posted 03-28-2019 at 05:48 AM by darkblue
Updated 06-04-2019 at 02:17 PM by darkblue

I saw this idea in another blog, and liked the idea. So here it goes:

03/24/2019 Sunday: Fucked myself in the hot bathing tub with the long dildo to achieve my first anal orgasm ever. No chance, after 10 minutes I used my hand too, the orgasm was very intense.

Since then: Self chosen denial, horny all the time, 3 edges last night. Don't know why I started this again.

03/29/2019 Friday (total: 5 days, 1 orgasm, 1 ruined): Due to a PM dare I received, I edged once, and had to perform a ruined orgasm afterwards. All went good, but it left a big frustration after ruining, what I needed so much. The good thing: The pressure from inside the balls has decreased a bit, but I'm as horny as before.
Later in the evening video chat with my special girl, constant teasing over 2 hours, ending with a double masturbation session and an incredible orgasm.

Since then: Woke up today feeling several light and sweet stings from near my bladder, must have been the prostate. Obviously it has work to do, to keep the sperm down where it belongs, inside my body. I will keep it safe inside me, I will be strong at least for another week, but I am afraid to edge now, to cum without being able to stop it.

04/01/2019 Monday (total: 8 days, 1 orgasm, 1 ruined): Starting to drip only by the friction of the fabric of my underwear... and this is just the beginning...
After having performed a pee dare in the shower I received some days before, I aimed the hard shower beam directly to the penis head, but had to stop after a few seconds, so intense, fear to cum immediately.
I'm beginning to regret that I started this diary, now I really have to stay strong in my (until now mild form of) denial, after it started as a spontaneous idea.
Needed a drop of cum for a very special letter I am going to write for a very special person. So I edged, until I got it - and stopped.

04/02/2019 Tuesday (total 9 days, 1 orgasm, 1 ruined): I did it, yesterday I bought a chastity cage and applied it this morning, was not easy. It is made of silicone, had to take a hot bath to get my balls through the ring (see pictures here: Chastity Cage). Now it is hurting a bit on the balls, but the feeling of being numb at the cock head is wonderful. Dripping and dripping, endlessly.

04/03/2019 Wednesday (total 10 days, 1 orgasm, 1 ruined): Wearing my cage for 4 hours now, everything feels good so far. I put some silicone lube on cock and balls before applying it, the balls slip much better through the ring, and the cock fits well in its cage, although the lube massage instantly made my cock grow, have to be faster next time. Was outside driving to a mall and walked around, nobody could see what I wear under the trousers. Perhaps I will wear it all night, but don't know for now. I gave the orgasm control to my wonderful Fairy, knowing that she will tease me constantly.

04/04/2019 Thursday (total 11 days, 1 orgasm, 1 ruined): Wore my new cage through the whole night, no problems. Took it off before going to a doctor thks morning, and put on afterwards. Wearing it for 10 hours now (also during work) and will do so for the night. I get used to it now, like the feeling of my cock being covered and warm, feeling numb. The cock head is always wet, I am constantly aroused and dripping. Yesterday I was told to edge once, but it did not work through the silicone, frustration.
When I wear tight briefs, noone can see my little secret. If anyone is interested in seeing how it looks like, look here: Chastity Cage

04/06/2019 Saturday (total 13 days, 1 orgasm, 1 ruined): Today I was not allowed to wear my cage, my cock should be teased a bit more. Tonight I had a long chat with my girlfriend. She is the one who leads me through my denial phase and who is familiar with all my kinks. We talked and laughed and she teased me a lot, and just before we were about to close the chat, she decided to spread her legs for me and masturbate until she came. She looked so wonderful. I was not allowed to touch myself and my balls were hurting a lot. For tomorrow night I shall give myself a ruined orgasm and put on my cage again, my heart is beating.

04/07/2019 Sunday (total 14 days, 1 orgasm, 2 ruined): Took a hot bath and did some edging, until I was about to cum. Stopped, did some minor strokes and came into the palm of my left hand. The juice was thick and sticky and more than I expected. Played around with it and decided to eat it. Tasted good, I liked it. This is definitely a punishment, if I would be asked to do it in the presence of others. Afterwards I put on my cage, as I was asked for, and will wear it during the night. This ruin gave me some relief of the pressure in my balls.

04/09/2019 Tuesday (total 16 days, 1 orgasm, 2 ruined):
Wore the cage all night. Nightly erections are a bit painful, the growing cock takes the whole cage with it, so that the ring at the base is pressing the balls downwards, they are hard and start to hurt. The soft silicone ring is no danger, but the whole cage feels much too small then. In the morning I decided to remove the cage for work, depending on how the cage is placed in my briefs, it may look very strange for my students. After coming home I put it on again, somehow I get used to wearing my cage, I begin to like it.
I was allowed to edge once today, and although I cannot feel anything through the silicone, I found a way. I pressed the precum-wet cockhead on the top rhythmically, until it slides up and down the slippery cage. This was able to make me edge in less than one minute. The cage was again full of my semi-hard cock, dripping through the peehole of the cage. I stopped again - and felt good.

04/10/2019 Wednesday (total 17 days, 1 orgasm, 2 ruined):
Took the cage off this morning, after 17 hours constantly wearing it. Although I still like to wear it, I have to really make a longer pause now. The skin of cock and balls has some red marks and hurts partly, mainly because of skin squeezing between the parts of the cage. I will wait, until it has recovered. Additionally, because of the permanent pressure on the scrotum, it has stretched and the balls hang lower (ok, that is acceptable, I even like it).
Waiting now for my daily task on the 17th day.
Ok, she knows what I need... I had to play with my ass for 15 minutes, while watching pegging porn. I decided to wear my new prostate teasing buttplug and went to pornhub. Found some very nice amateur pegging videos, I never liked the professional stuff. Result after this session: I lie in a puddle of my precum, plug in the ass, balls hurting, prostate sending SOS. I am nearly sure, if I'd stimulate the prostate further, I would cum very soon without touching anything else. Hard to resist today.

04/12/2019 Friday (total 19 days, 1 orgasm, 2 ruined):
Today I put on my cage again. The skin has recovered and I want to feel it again. I was allowed to give myself one edge, but didn't do it yet. After midnight, I guess, this opportunity is gone. Shall I do it?
PS: Midnight is over, and I have to wait for new instructions now.
PPS: Had to remove the cage again in the night. During an erection much pain on squeezed skin, nothing I could do to decrease it. Too much pain or damage is not what I am aiming at. Perhaps the wrong device?

04/13/2019 Saturday (total 20 days, 1 orgasm, 3 ruined):
My cock is so sensitive right now, that it's stimulated by walking around in tight jeans. There is a constant stain of precum in my briefs these days. Even going barefoot seems to stimulate me sexually, so I will do it even more now.
Tonight a long chat with my loved one. She is teasing me all the time, knowing that I obey to every of her rules, without asking. The smile in her face, while she sucks a bottle, or tells me, what she would do with her tongue in my ass, all this topless on the cam, was nearly too much for my oversensitive nerves. After I told her, that my balls are hurting (one week without cumming), she allowed me a full or ruined orgasm. I chose the ruined one, because I know, that this enhances the intensity of her own orgasm after the chat. I want to make her feel good. My denial is her pleasure, and vice versa.
When I edged and came into the left hand, it was so much cum, it dripped down the hand on my bed. Now the pressure has decreased a bit, thank you <3

Since then: The last two days were surprisingly easy for me, don't know why. Either the ruined orgasm from Saturday decreased my need, or I simply get used to the situation of denial. Or both. Whenever I touch my penis for necessary things I don't have the need to masturbate. It would be harder for me if I had to edge. I received 5 edges as PM dare yesterday, but haven't started yet. I'm a bit afraid to do it, it might reactivate my need.
PS: Did the 5 edges... Lots of precum, not easy to stop five times, cock is hot, wet and throbbing, heart is beating...

04/15/2019 Monday (total 22 days, 1 orgasm, 3 ruined):
Still didn't use the cage, but will try it again after work tomorrow. The edges did wake up my need, as I feared.
This evening new teasing via sms messages from my loved one, shall I call her Mistress now? This would put me again deeper into the submissive world, something inside me is still reluctant. She acted like a Mistress today and I know that she loves it. Although she is a loving Mistress and doesn't like hard degradation, she uses my denial to enhance her pleasure and the strength of her orgasm. Just a few words from her and I am a purring, denied cat, licking her pussy and her beautiful feet, but not allowed to cum. What a sweet feeling, what a wonderful place to be.
I was allowed to use my ass now and decided to put on the new prostate massaging butt plug during the night. Every move I make gives a sweet sting to the prostate. I tried to sleep, dreamt a lot, dripped precum, but was not able to fall in deep sleep. So I removed the plug at 3 a.m.

04/17/2019 Wednesday (total 24 days, 1 orgasm, 3 ruined):
Did another attempt to wear my cage yesterday and put it on directly after I came home from work. I looked for proper placement of balls and penis inside and used both kinds of lube, the silicone and water based. The silicone lube lasts longer, while the water based lube is more slippery to get the cock right into its place. But then, while managing all this - it felt too good :-) I got harder than I wanted manipulating with my slippery genitals. The cock cage didn't fit anymore and I had to distract myself and wait until I was soft again. Then it worked and it felt good this time. I stayed nude at home, as long as I was alone, and loved to play with the cage. Cock and balls in the cage are one pressed, heavy package and its nice to see and feel it. I looked into the mirror and liked it, the cock in its silicone cage, the balls below, pressed and with cold, shiny skin. I felt somehow... proud to wear it.
Later at night I received my daily task via sms. I should watch 20 minutes of rimming porn and in the last 5 minutes play with my ass, no other action allowed. I searched for amateur rimming videos at pornhub and found some very nice ones. Playing with the new buttplug together with the cage made me incredible horny, but I stayed strong again for my Mistress. Afterwards I wrote my report via mail, including the video links and my feelings for her. I would do anything for her own pleasure.
Wore the cage for 24 hours now: A record! It seems that good preparation is essential for long time using of the cage. I rode my bicycle and went to work with it, a very naughty feeling...

04/19/2019 Friday (total 26 days, 1 orgasm, 3 ruined):
Where shall I begin today? Two day ago I made a mistake. I was so horny that I held the ultrasonic electric tootbrush against the cage. The vibrations made me edge within 20 seconds and felt so sweet and intense that my cock really hurt for hours afterwards. I really have to be careful with that powerful toy and will include it into my toy list now.
Yesterday I wore the cage for two days without a pause, I am used to it now. I care for the necessary hygiene and got no problems. Taking it off for some minutes is a problem, I won't get in again as I said above. So I will stay with it as long as possible.
Yesterday a long video chat with my Mistress. Yes, I call her officially Mistress now. She reads this blog and likes the title. We both are new to this sort of game and are both getting deeper and deeper into it. She teased me so much over more than an hour, it was almost more than I could stand, my face red with excitement, heart beating, and nothing I could do to get relief. I am an open book for my Mistress, she knows every single button she can push to bring me higher on the ladder of excitement, and she uses the buttons, one by one. I saw her orgasming, saw her fingers rubbing her clit and could not get enough. When she came, it was almost as if I came, and I felt so happy. I was not allowed to touch myself, and it felt right. The next days contact would not be this easy and I will wait as a good submissive pet for new instructions.
Last night many strong and painful erections. It pressed the balls hard and hurt so much, that I had to remove the cage for the night. Put it on again this morning. Where will all this lead to?

Since then: My diary entries are getting longer and longer, and I wonder if they are of interest in the getDare community. I see the number of views grow constantly, so I know I still have readers. Please, my dear readers, I would very much like to hear your thoughts and ideas about my adventure as a subby male. Do you like to read more? Do you have any suggestions? What would you like me to do? Shall I stay in denial? You may answer here or privately, if you wish.

04/21/2019 Sunday (total 28 days, 1 orgasm, 3 ruined):
Two quiet days, worked in house and garden, enjoyed the sun, wore my chastity cage as often as possible. I don't even feel it as something special now. No touching, no edging, no teasing, just a sweet tickling from the cock head all the time. Now as it is getting warmer I may start to go naked in the house and garden and will not wear the cage then. I am in a constant level of arousal, day and night.

04/23/2019 Tuesday (total 30 days, 1 orgasm, 3 ruined):
Today I received the order to edge twice, while having my prostate teased. She knows, what drives me crazy. In my mind nothing but the need for an orgasm, balls and cock hurting all day for not getting what they want so much, and now increasing it again by teasing my P-spot. I put on my new buttplug and watched getdare posts about an hour with my overexcited mind, wanted to make many dares, but most of them too dangerous for me. But it were the dangerous ones, that I wanted the most. The edges then were painful and *very* fast, just 10 seconds of rubbing were enough to come close to an orgasm. The cock was still soft and small, no erection was possible while nearly cumming. I did two painful edges, and still have to do one (because I received one from getdare also), but I refuse to do, I would not stand another one today. Will I get a punishment?

04/26/2019 Friday (total 33 days, 1 orgasm, 3 ruined):
Nothing special, no punishment at all. My skin has to recover from wearing the chastity cage. Cock and balls needs to recover, I use body lotion for this. My need to masturbate is under control, although I often feel this special tickling inside my penis, even while peeing. This can go on and on now, although I am afraid to go to the hospital next week in this state of denial. I will get a catheter while in narcosis, how will I react to this? Shall I stop my denial phase or be risky?

04/27/2019 Saturday (total 34 days, 1 orgasm, 4 ruined):
Posted on a "kik edge on demand" thread here, and got response. I am able to edge in seconds now, and did it, but the result was, that after the moment I stopped rubbing, my juice dribbled out of me, not cotrollable, without any feeling of an orgasm. It made a little puddle on the stomach and I licked it from my fingers. Although it was not very much, I count it as a ruined orgasm. Things are changing, as it seems, balls are more than full and just open their gates for the overflow inside.
But I have to confess, that I still love this. My mind is changing too, I am softer than ever, relaxed, no aggression, no bad feelings, just full of love to all people I meet. I will stay without orgasm and see what happens. I would appreciate any company of you getdarians, to help me stay strong, or to tease me on my way.
PS: Had a video chat with my girl tonight. After talking about normal things, she started to tease me, topless, massaging her beautiful breasts, pinching her nipples and smiling her unresistable smile. I dripped a waterfall, my leg was wet. She knew, that I would stay strong, I didn't touch myself at all, just squirming my legs as I imagined her body on mine. Task for tomorrow is one edge after 15 minutes of ass play, will report tomorrow.

04/29/2019 Monday (total 36 days, 1 orgasm, 4 ruined):
Received 5 more edges yesterday, together with two more dares involving pee drinking and an ass-to-mouth part. Did the edges after inserting my ass-plug for an hour, in the hot water of a bath. I knew if would not be easy *not* to cum, and I was super careful. I was indeed extremely sensitive and could have cum in 5 seconds now. So this is how it went: 5 seconds soft touching of my cock, feeling my juices rising fast, then stop immediately for a minute, no more touch allowed. Repeating this 5 times, it was not easy..., but I was able to hold back the orgasm completely, the cock far away from getting hard. It's a real thrill, my heart is beating, the tickling inside cock and balls feel so incredibly sweet.
Yesterday I received the order to stay in denial even in the hospital from Wednesday on, and I will of course obey. Let's see what happens then.

--- BREAK ---
Tomorrow I will go to the hospital for my brain surgery, I hope they don't remove the kinky zone. My dear readers, please be patient until I am again able to write about the adventures of my denial while in hospital, it will take some days to come back here. See you.

05/05/2019 Sunday (total 42 days, 1 orgasm, 4 ruined):
Surgery went well, still in hospital, more later.

05/08/2019 Wednesday (total 45 days, 1 orgasm, 4 ruined):
I'm home! Feeling very weak and have to learn to move my left arm and fingers again, but all will work well,I know it. Just typing is incredibly slow and for a normally fast person like me not easy to stand.
And furthermore, I'm still in the game :-) 45 days now, and my girl helped me a lot to get over this time. My subbiness makes her incredible hot and wet, as she told me, a wonderful win-win-situation for us. I stayed strong in the hospital, it was easy, because you almost have no privacy there. But I can tell, my balls hurt and hurt, I almost forgot the feeling of a real orgasm. After a nice and sexy video chat in the last hour I was sitting in a puddle of precum.
Will soon try my cock cage again, just to make her wet when she sees it. I love to be in control, it makes me feel strong and free, weird I think, but the truth. Will do a video for her with the cage just to tease her.

--- BLOG TOO LONG, CONTINUING IN POSTS ---
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    JAZ's Avatar
    Did you get to cum today? If so, I hope it was great! And I wish you all the best for your upcoming treatments.
    Posted 05-17-2019 at 06:58 AM by JAZ JAZ is offline
  2. Old Comment
    darkblue's Avatar
    05/17/2019 Friday (total 54 days, 2 orgasms, 5 ruined):
    Yesterday was my day. I received detailed instructions and started with watching certain video porn (rimming porn, woman to man, this is what we both like), and after 30 minutes one edge. It was not easy to stop, but I managed it. During all this I wrote a detailed report about every detail I did, every video I saw and commented, what I liked in them. Then another video phase, after which I was allowed to have a ruined orgasm. My heart was beating, and I was able to go over the edge in just 30 seconds. I came hard on my belly and it was incredible. I was loud and I never felt this mixture of pleasure and pain before, completely exhausted afterwards. I took a rest, with my whole body in uproar, balls hurting. Then I had the instruction to put in my prostate teasing plug and give myself a full orgasm. I did the first thing, but waited for the full orgasm until a video chat with her. This orgasm was insane, I totally lost control, it was much more intense than the ruined one, the most intense of all I had before. What a wonderful end of this long denial time. Now I need a pause, coming back to earth, normalize in a way. Will definitely do it again, but not tomorrow. Thank you all for visiting my blog, this one has come to an end. When I repeat something like this, I will start a new one. Bye :-)
    Posted 05-18-2019 at 02:24 AM by darkblue darkblue is offline
    Updated 05-18-2019 at 02:34 AM by darkblue
  3. Old Comment
    darkblue's Avatar
    ...and the story goes on. Not long after the end of this game, I started to play with the cage and told her about it. My girl decided, that a new denial game had just started...

    I am writing about it in a new blog entry: here
    Have fun!
    Posted 06-08-2019 at 01:27 AM by darkblue darkblue is offline
 

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