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Do dominant women really exist?

Posted 09-11-2010 at 07:45 PM by depp
Updated 09-11-2010 at 08:31 PM by depp

I keep asking myself if dominant women really exist. Love is everywhere and yet so easily eludes us when we need it most. Every woman I've ever been with has worn an elaborate mask tailored just for me. Should I just lower my standards and take the first cute thing I see? It feels like strong, intelligent, kinky, and stable women are extinct. Something that others have but that I never will. I feel that maybe I'm holding out for a creature that died out millions of years ago.

I'm stable, have an awesome and interesting job, and get along well in social situations. Hell, a lot of people I run into even find me interesting. Where do you find interesting, intelligent, open-minded, kinky, and strong women? I run into potentials occasionally but never have had the opportunity to get to know them better. Is it wrong not to want another submissive or confused kitten? I just want a loving girl who takes what she wants and isn't rubber.

I've found a couple of girls here in Southern California who were close. I've seen glimpses of what I'm looking for but like Nessie or an ET have so far stayed mysteries. It's just a long journey to an unknown destination.

As I write this there has to be girl in California sitting at her computer in Southern California looking for companionship and a boy to love. Maybe not.

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don't you mean dominant? i thought dominate was a verb...

Posted 09-11-2010 at 07:54 PM by metalchick

	Quote: don't you mean dominant? i thought dominate was a verb... Lol, thanks. I don't know if I was brain-dead or if auto-complete was fighting with me.
	Posted 09-11-2010 at 08:33 PM by depp

Yes they do. Too bad cute is also a requirement.

Posted 09-11-2010 at 08:41 PM by Tiger

	They exist, but getting everything you want in one package is difficult no matter what sort of companion you want. They're just bloody rare and it takes a lot of time to hunt one down :s
	Posted 09-11-2010 at 09:35 PM by Leopard

	And I've found that most women who are like the woman you describe... don't flash it about. Personally, to me it feels like every man wants a quiet submissive "normal" girl. In circumstances where I do act like my total self... it's only girls who show interest in having relationship with me. Oh wells. (: P.S. to Tiger: Everyone has a different definition of cute. (:
	Posted 09-11-2010 at 10:27 PM by sweetsong

nevermind ......

Posted 09-11-2010 at 10:36 PM by metalchick

As far as I can tell, and from my experiences, there aren't really that many. At least, like yourself, no women near me are exactly like that - Nice that we have the same tastes in women, huh? - or even remotely close to the most important one for me; Stable, which I take to mean emotionally capable of taking a blow and picking themselves up again without having to phone a friend for answers (Not that I mean physically hit or anything).

It's not even that I think either of us are after, "Dominant," as in, "Yes, Mistress," but a woman that doesn't just fold and throw in her cards at the slightest chance of things going poorly would be magnificent. Kinkiness, cuteness.. Everybody has their kinks and everyone is cute in their own way. It depends on whether their kinks are in-line with yours, and whether you perceive their cuteness.

My best advice? Go for one of the requirements, as the chances of finding two... It will never happen. The perfect anybody; boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, bed-buddy - they don't exist. You need to find the qualities about a person, and accept them, without lamenting for the things that they seem to lack.

But most of all, keep in mind that men are meant to be the core of a relationship. Men are the ones who are meant to enable things to run smoothly, like the bones of your own body, men are meant to give the strength for the relationship to move. Women are meant to be the tenderness, the emotion, and the.. Pizazz! They make the relationship exciting and interesting, but without the bones to support them, they're jelly. Skin scars easily (Emotional damage!) but that means that the bones don't have to worry about it, being shielded by the skin, so long as the skin can depend on the bones. Ha. I think that's a nice analogy; I do hope it isn't being a little too sexist (Well.. it is. But honestly).

Also hoping that I've been able to help you a little! Good luck with love - You'll need it.

Posted 09-12-2010 at 12:07 AM by Kusumura Kusumura is offline

Updated 09-12-2010 at 12:10 AM by Kusumura

I'd have to agree with Depp stating that most women are on the more submissive side.

And most of the ones going for the dominating side are so bitchy that I wouldn't been able to keep up living with them.

But I'm sure there's girls out there that know what they want, go for that, don't let them be distracted what men feel they should do. Direct their lifes in the way they want it to go. A bit more on the dominant side, but in a nice and dedicated way. Hmm, I think I want that!

Posted 09-12-2010 at 12:27 AM by deschut deschut is offline

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kusumura

I do hope it isn't being a little too sexist (Well.. it is. But honestly).

That is sexist! The amount of control and power of a person in a committed relationship should be equal and balanced.

Quote:

Also hoping that I've been able to help you a little! Good luck with love - You'll need it.

No he doesn't. Love could have been started by luck, (and even reinforced) but it also comes from patience, open-mindedness and hard work. Yes, you might meet a fancy girl at a bar, and go on to have a wonderful marriage and life with her... but you could also develop a good and stable relationship with a friend you have trusted for a long time, or you know really well.

Posted 09-12-2010 at 12:29 AM by LilAngel LilAngel is offline

Updated 09-12-2010 at 12:31 AM by LilAngel

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kusumura

But most of all, keep in mind that men are meant to be the core of a relationship. Men are the ones who are meant to enable things to run smoothly, like the bones of your own body, men are meant to give the strength for the relationship to move. Women are meant to be the tenderness, the emotion, and the.. Pizazz! They make the relationship exciting and interesting, but without the bones to support them, they're jelly. Skin scars easily (Emotional damage!) but that means that the bones don't have to worry about it, being shielded by the skin, so long as the skin can depend on the bones. Ha. I think that's a nice analogy; I do hope it isn't being a little too sexist (Well.. it is. But honestly).

What? That's so ridiculously stereotypical. Every relationship is different. Every person is different. There is no "supposed to" definition to a relationship.

The right person for you is out there, but they are unlikely to be listed on your ideal statistics spreadsheet - most great love is found when least expected. Never give up!

Posted 09-12-2010 at 12:29 AM by Leopard Leopard is offline

Cute: Am I sexually attracted to the person?
Dominant: Does she enjoy being in control? (not just trying to always please me)
Intelligent: Can I hold a conversation with her about non-superficial things?
Kinky: Does she enjoy sexual adventure?

What makes me sad is that I don't feel like cute, dominant, intelligent, and kinky is too much to put on my list. I've only ever been able to pick three and a half and yet I feel very strongly about all four.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leopard

The right person for you is out there, but they are unlikely to be listed on your ideal statistics spreadsheet - most great love is found when least expected. Never give up!

I really appreciate and believe advice like this. It's just hard to wait on true love and happiness. I find myself trying to take every shortcut I see.

I have hope. It just seems dark sometimes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leopard

it takes a lot of time to hunt one down :s

Amen!

Quote:

Originally Posted by deschut

But I'm sure there's girls out there that know what they want, go for that, don't let them be distracted what men feel they should do. Direct their lifes in the way they want it to go. A bit more on the dominant side, but in a nice and dedicated way. Hmm, I think I want that!

I sure hope so!
This sounds like a dream

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetsong

And I've found that most women who are like the woman you describe... don't flash it about.

This gives me a lot of hope. Perhaps just acting myself and being a more open with people about what I am looking for is the right strategy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilAngel

it also comes from patience, open-mindedness and hard work

Something about this makes me feel all warm and fizzy inside. Maybe my head is a bit in the clouds.

Posted 09-12-2010 at 01:50 AM by depp depp is offline

	I think it's pretty clear from your ad / other posts that you have hope and express / promote yourself well in a completely non-whiny way. Everyone doubts themselves at times, you just need reassuring that sooner or later you'll find someone totally worthwhile for you Just go with what feels right.
	Posted 09-12-2010 at 02:01 AM by Leopard

They might be rare, but they DO exist. I know a few

Posted 09-12-2010 at 06:16 AM by Mere

	don't you mean dominant? i thought dominate was a verb...
	Posted 09-11-2010 at 07:54 PM by metalchick

	Yes they do. Too bad cute is also a requirement.
	Posted 09-11-2010 at 08:41 PM by Tiger

	They might be rare, but they DO exist. I know a few
	Posted 09-12-2010 at 06:16 AM by Mere

	nevermind ......
	Posted 09-11-2010 at 10:36 PM by metalchick

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