A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Happiness
Happiness is something that a lot of people strive for. We all have things in daily life that make us happy: the giggle of a baby, kittens or puppies, ice cream, music ... but being a happy person and living a happy life can sometimes be difficult when one or more area(s) of your life are unbalanced or not meeting your expectations.
There have been people in my real life, as well as on getDare that have really taught me a lot about happiness over the past 7 months. I feel like I am now starting to take the advice that I have heard countless times and starting to hand it back to others. So I thought I would write this to remind everybody about a few important things about happiness.
Everybody deserves to be happy. Yes, this means me, but also it means YOU! Everybody looks better with a smile on their face and not just a fake mask like smile. I am talking about the smile that reaches your eyes. But of course a smile here and there doesn't mean you are happy. Everybody deserves true happiness. The happiness that means you wake up looking forward to the day ahead. Everybody is bound to go through rough times, or have bad days. Yelling, stomping, crying and throwing socks at the wall is allowed periodically. But everybody deserves to spend more time being happy than the other emotions.
If you realize you are unhappy; change it! Only YOU can make your happiness a reality. Nobody can do it for you. Having people who love and care for you in your life can certainly help, but that alone will not make you happy. You need to make tough decisions in order to make yourself happy.
This is the one that really hits home for me. I try very hard to not be a selfish person. I spend a lot of time putting others before myself. I would rather sacrifice myself than to see somebody hurting and unhappy. But it gets to a point where you have to put yourself first. You have to remember the first two points: You deserve to be happy, and only you can make yourself happy. It is not selfish to put yourself first, it is necessary because nobody else is able to do it for you.
Furthermore, I have learned that it is easier to help others, when you yourself are happy.
Happiness is a choice that we all have to make for ourselves. Although I have been struggling and stumbling, I really am committed to try and be the best person I can be. This means a commitment to doing what I have to do in order to be happy. It is a constant battle within myself, and i have had to make a lot of tough decisions. But I deserve to be happy, I want to be happy and I am choosing to be happy!
Total Comments 12
Comments
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This is beautifully written and well-expressed. Thank-you!
One corollary of this is that you can never make someone else happy. No matter how much you sacrifice and give of yourself, only they can make themselves happy.
Smiles!Posted 01-30-2015 at 10:11 AM by madl 
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It's such a paradox! I want to make other people happy! But you're right, i can't. But maybe if I'm happy some of that can rub off? Maybe? A little?Posted 01-30-2015 at 10:23 AM by pet monkey
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I actually have to disagree slightly with madl. You CAN make someone else happy, but only fleetingly.
I love everything you said! And agree with it.
I think there's something even more important than happiness: Joy.
Happiness is an outward expression of elation. It tends to be based on circumstance and of shorter duration. Joy is inward peace and all around contentment. Joy tends to have a much longer timeframe.
This is a good article on it! They really said it well with this: The opposite of happiness is unhappiness. The opposite of joy is fear.
Posted 01-30-2015 at 10:28 AM by eivins
Updated 01-30-2015 at 10:32 AM by eivins -
@Madl - No. You cant make somebody else happy, but I believe that you can help them achieve happiness by helping them to believe in themselves. Just like you, and a lot of other people did to help me.
@Colosubguy - I agree. You wan't to make them happy, but you can't do it for them. You can help make them smile though, which is still nice.
@Lizzy - I do agree with you, there is a difference between Joy and Happiness. I will have to read the article. I believe the same things are true of Joy. You cannot make somebody feel Joy and contentment. It is something that stems with being happy with yourself, your life and others. It is something you have to make happen for yourself.Posted 01-30-2015 at 10:39 AM by Butterfly
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I don't have much to add to your blog and the comments. I think I'll leave the talking to mister porcupine instead:
Posted 01-30-2015 at 10:45 AM by drwarschauu
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Beautiful blog, lady. We've both tried to hammer this message into each other's head, but putting your own happiness above someone else's is hard sometimes. But everything you said here is absolutely right, and I'm so proud of you for making decisions and steps toward happiness. <3
Posted 01-30-2015 at 10:54 AM by jlstockton25
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I agree with Jls (almost used your real name and would have gotten bopped on the head :P) it is so very hard sometimes knowing that your happiness will make someone else very sad. That in turn would make me feel sad again even though something else would make me very happy... it just makes things so very complicated.Posted 01-30-2015 at 11:13 AM by Shadowice
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Well written butterfly, it is true that we are master of our own happiness in much the same way we are the perpetrators of our own disappear at times. By truly accepting who we and learning to enjoy being ourselves though is a huge step towards mastering happiness.
I agree with you too JL <3 it is so hard to put our own happiness before that of another, especially for many submissives who live to make others happy. It takes such strength and courage to put yourselves first and to do what is needed to find happiness for yourself.Posted 01-30-2015 at 02:03 PM by Tease
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Very well said!! Thank you for writing this. I think it is so easy for us to put the responsibility for our happiness on someone else, because it means we don't have to be responsible. Sometimes we need to be reminded that it is up to us individually to create our own happiness.
Posted 01-30-2015 at 04:11 PM by Punishmyclit
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I have always been a happy person, but had never experienced happiness. I believe there is a big difference between the two. I can say now that I have had a true taste of happiness... that feeling when you wake up in the morning and everything just feels right. It took a special someone to show that it was possible. A big part of this is loving yourself, something I've never really been able to do. I'm so proud of you Butterfly, for the hard decisions you have made and the steps you have taken to find happiness for yourself. You've shown me alot the past 7 months and we owe it to each other to do what it takes to both find happiness in our lives.Posted 01-30-2015 at 08:54 PM by Mr. Devious
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I love this post! It took me a really long time in life to put myself first and recognize the things I needed to do for my own happiness, and was even told I was being selfish for it (but that is a whole other story). We only have one life, it should be filled with happiness and joy, sometimes it's hard to get there, but it is so worth it when it happens. As far as hurting other people, that does suck and hurts in itself, but not being happy with something and the emotional impact that will have on you will probably hurt them more, it will definitely hurt you more.
It makes my heart so happy to see people recognizing this at a young age!
P.S. I love your butterfly backgroundPosted 01-31-2015 at 09:58 AM by justJane
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Thank you to everybody for your kind words. I hope each of you can truly find your happiness and joy.
@JLS - Thank you. I am proud of myself as well, and I will continue to hammer that message into you as time goes on. You have made so many tough but good decisions in the past few months as well, and I hope they pay off. But, we all need a reminder, and so I will be here to remind you.
@Shadow - Happiness and life are complicated. People have times of sadness, but for most of us, the sadness doesn't last long, so don't base your long term happiness on somebodies short term sadness.
@Tease - I agree that the concept of putting your own happiness first is especially hard for submissives. We are built to put our Dom's happiness and pleasure first. We sometimes need to be reminded that it is ok to be selfish and think of ourselves.
@Punish - It is easy to forget that. A lot of the time we feel like life is happening to us rather than us making things happen. We need to take conrol of ourselves.
@Asslvr - Thank you for supporting my journey to find happiness and I am very glad that you have learned that you deserve happiness and that it IS very much possible. I hope you can continue to strive for that at all times because you truly do deserve it.
@JJ - Thank you, and I am very glad you were able to realize this as well.
Ps. I love my background tooPosted 02-17-2015 at 10:04 AM by Butterfly
