About men and women; and me

Some authors say, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I found a list that categorizes love into twelve kinds of love, split into two halves of typical female ones like care, and typical male ones like respect. I find it incredibly helpful. I am fine with all the men and women of the world. There's just one hack of an issue which frequently bothers me.

But first, let me ask one stupid questions: Where is your liver?
A doctor will probably give you that answer. And quite likely she would be right with you. Only if you were one extraordinary human among around 10,000, someone of around 0.01% of people with Situs Inversus, you would probably know by now and quickly tell her.

Another stupid question: What is a man? What is a woman?
Have you given birth to a child yet? If yes, congratulations, we clearly can assume that you are a woman then. Otherwise, maybe make a chromosome test. Not done yet? How do we know you are a man or a woman then? Ah, obviously the physiological differences. So do would you show all your male or female attributes then? A woman with big hands, a small man? Cannot be. How can we be sure? Genitals you say. Alright. But then what if you lose whatever you have there? Would that make you any less of a man or a woman? Would you be willing to lose your gender identity because of that, with all the grave consequences? I hope not.

Here's my proposal. Except with my permission or in the case of an emergency, you have no business with what's in my pants and vice versa. In fact, nobody has the right to look into other people's pants without consent. I think that is pretty reasonable. And believe me, you don't know what other people have in their pants, doesn't matter if it's lightly delicate matters like women's underwear, no underwear, a chastity device or particular genitals unless they were extraordinary tight pants maybe. People have all kinds of physical stories, which makes it very likely we make a misjudgment about their gender one day or another, but even more so about attributes.

But what gender are you now? Another suggestion: Who knows best what gender you are? Or better asked, who knows best what gender you are comfortable and happy with? Who should decide which gender you are? My suggestion: You. You should determine that at best. Let others make proposals, but anytime you say which gender you are because it's your business, and not anyone else's. At least it should be. Any persons interested in a relationship or sex with you are going to know themselves if you attract them or not.

One more thing: you don't have to like soccer because you are a man (or football, hockey or basketball if you are in the USA), or sports in general, or fast cars, or military, or violence, or strength, or mechanics and electronics, or logic. You may, of course. Same goes for women and lovely cloth, shoes, emotions and so forth. But please don't expect others to meet any expectations about their gender. It hurts a lot. It hurts me. My grandpa, rest in peace, did call me a "Sue" similar to "Sissy" and told me to be more manly when I cried because of pain. He was an awesome, caringly grandfather, and I loved him to death. But those sentences gave me a scar. I discovered, there are many persons like me, a minority, but still a vast number of individuals, more or less abroad from the ordinary, who suffer from from expectation of the average. In fact, if you only look close enough, we all vary from the exact peak of the bell curve of any attributes you may come up with.

Imagine the following scenario: Everyone you meet uses the wrong personal pronouns on you. You can correct them, but you are getting nowhere if you always do it. No chance. And it hurts. It hammers right on the door of your very basic identity. That's what I mean. I have to confess that I am still judging the gender of the people around me, though I was wrong with it often enough. But what I can do, is respect anyone's choice which gender that person is, and ask you for the same respect. I am asking you since you are more likely in a conceived majority of men and women without question. Unfortunately, the majority of people decides how we behave towards people in the minority, like me. That's why I'd like you to sensitize you.

Naturally, most life forms on earth have one sex. Some fungi have 36,000 sexes. Lots of bigger life forms have two sexes, especially animals, in particular mammals. Though, some vary a lot from your expectations, like these incredibly entertaining, still educational pictures show. For humans, I would have to drag out the variety of clinical "special cases" in an amount that might let you doubt what you could still take for granted after all. Though we humans make up our own definition, there's only one learning we can draw from nature: In reality, there's much more variation then we can get along with in our head. Though the average sum of two six-sided dices is seven, the majority of results isn't. Our brain puts everything into petty little boxes with more or less meaningful labels, just to not go insane about trivial issues like what a table is or where the own body ends. That is quite a necessary behavior, to a certain extent. Because we prosper from diversity: acknowledging, getting along and making decisions with different backgrounds and opinions among ourselves for the prosperity of all individuals.

All I ask from you is to call me "Sue" and address me by she, her, hers, Miss(es) and so forth if I tell you to. Or as "Herbert" and address me as he, him, his, Mister and so forth. Or as "Rik" and address me by it, its and gamma. Or however the fuck I want. I define how I want you to call me because it is my identity at all. It is all my right to define it however I need and want it. If you can do me that favor, you can do it to everyone else. I respect if you are man. I respect if you are a woman. I respect if you are anything else. Please let that be mutual respect. Thank you very much.