The difficulty of self-control
Posted 02-24-2019 at 05:37 PM by PrincessJessica
The difficulty of self-control
A week seems like such a long time when you can’t touch for pleasure. I set myself the challenge partly as I felt my self-control was really struggling after my last ruin (2 weeks ago maybe, after which I REALLY wanted to cum) but also as it’s fun to torture myself occasionally. The nearer the end of my denial gets the harder it seems to be to control my desires, but I suppose after a year that’s hardly surprising.
I wore my chastity cage for 3 of the days but it’s still rubbing awkwardly. I think I’ve decided the cage itself is just slightly too tight, leaving marks or just generally irritating after continual wear. I still enjoy wearing it though, particularly when getting aroused feeling my dicklet desperately trying to break free yet helpless to aid it’s escape.
Although my bodies not exactly been co-operating since the finish line was put in sight for my denial (ugh, suffering in a non-fun way with this cold this week) it did at least make the no-touching easier as I was just less in the mood. However browsing GetDare and the very occasional watching of porn (I watched a fair bit to get me in the mood for writing a little kink story) really made me suffer. My balls ached, dicklet throbbed and my hands twitched yet I (just) managed to get through the week untouched. I dread to think how I’d have struggled had I been actively doing more kinky things (like cam shows or active tasks).
Waking up most mornings with my dicklet pressing against either my chastity cage or panties is a slightly odd day to start the day and immediately presents a problem of trying to not touch when my mind isn’t yet up to speed. A mix of distraction (looking at news etc.) and time does the business eventually although if I start the day off looking at kink things I easily get stuck in a awkward pattern of getting more aroused looking at kink things then getting more aroused at not being to touch. It doesn’t make much sense I know and I dare not think too much how long it’s taken to venture out of bed some days without having to worry about exposing my morning wood to family.
I suppose now I know I have it within me so to speak it only opens more doors for my denial next time (gulp). I’d kinda passed no touch/long-term chastity as beyond me as I don’t really get much sexual pleasure from other things (like anal, and only sometimes from pain) but the predicament (& to some degree humiliation) of being unable to touch my own dicklet for a week did prove that my warped mind could gain some perverse pleasure from the simple act of not doing something. I’m not sure how much longer I could manage (don’t get any ideas about a year worth Sexyred!) but I certainly did better this time than around a year ago when I got a hefty CBT penalty for each touch so maybe a year worth of denial has taught me some valuable self-control.
A week seems like such a long time when you can’t touch for pleasure. I set myself the challenge partly as I felt my self-control was really struggling after my last ruin (2 weeks ago maybe, after which I REALLY wanted to cum) but also as it’s fun to torture myself occasionally. The nearer the end of my denial gets the harder it seems to be to control my desires, but I suppose after a year that’s hardly surprising.
I wore my chastity cage for 3 of the days but it’s still rubbing awkwardly. I think I’ve decided the cage itself is just slightly too tight, leaving marks or just generally irritating after continual wear. I still enjoy wearing it though, particularly when getting aroused feeling my dicklet desperately trying to break free yet helpless to aid it’s escape.
Although my bodies not exactly been co-operating since the finish line was put in sight for my denial (ugh, suffering in a non-fun way with this cold this week) it did at least make the no-touching easier as I was just less in the mood. However browsing GetDare and the very occasional watching of porn (I watched a fair bit to get me in the mood for writing a little kink story) really made me suffer. My balls ached, dicklet throbbed and my hands twitched yet I (just) managed to get through the week untouched. I dread to think how I’d have struggled had I been actively doing more kinky things (like cam shows or active tasks).
Waking up most mornings with my dicklet pressing against either my chastity cage or panties is a slightly odd day to start the day and immediately presents a problem of trying to not touch when my mind isn’t yet up to speed. A mix of distraction (looking at news etc.) and time does the business eventually although if I start the day off looking at kink things I easily get stuck in a awkward pattern of getting more aroused looking at kink things then getting more aroused at not being to touch. It doesn’t make much sense I know and I dare not think too much how long it’s taken to venture out of bed some days without having to worry about exposing my morning wood to family.
I suppose now I know I have it within me so to speak it only opens more doors for my denial next time (gulp). I’d kinda passed no touch/long-term chastity as beyond me as I don’t really get much sexual pleasure from other things (like anal, and only sometimes from pain) but the predicament (& to some degree humiliation) of being unable to touch my own dicklet for a week did prove that my warped mind could gain some perverse pleasure from the simple act of not doing something. I’m not sure how much longer I could manage (don’t get any ideas about a year worth Sexyred!) but I certainly did better this time than around a year ago when I got a hefty CBT penalty for each touch so maybe a year worth of denial has taught me some valuable self-control.
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