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The Pet Peeve Series #5

Posted 11-06-2013 at 10:09 PM by Komodo Jones

OK so I want to try and get into the habit of posting on this again, fairly reguraly as there is still a whole lot of ground to cover. Granted it looks like nobody actually reads these things…but it’s still something I feel like I need to do. Once again, granted, I don’t think it will do a lot of good but I digress…

This is probably going to be one of the most, if not THE most, controversial complaint I have. A lot of us complain about it on a daily basis, it’s not going to change anytime soon, but anyway my fifth pet peeve is…

Pet Peeve #5-Guys Gleaning about Gaining Gayness at Ganders of Guys

Try saying that three times fast. Alliteration aside though, I will say as a disclaimer this will seem to insult one particular gender, BUT sexism is not the point of this entry, as I respect both genders and transgenders/transsexuals equally. I’m an equal opportunity defender…or offender if you’re being a jerk and constantly not following the rules. Caught someone posting an AMA thread in the truth section again…

And branching off from that everybody who can actually read, knows that AMA thread and dare me threads go in the tord online section. And this is quite possibly one of the most popular sections of the forum. I admit I have posted a few times in there myself even though I am definitely not the most daring of people. But as the game of truth or dare goes, I am not the best at giving truths or dares. I think part of that is being more of a sub at heart but I am very judgmental of myself that if I don’t give a good enough question or good enough dare I’m going to be ridiculed. That may not be the case but back to the tord online section.

Now everyone also knows that the majority of the population of getdare is comprised of males. Gay, bi, or straight I’m not sure but if I had to guess I would say straight males. Now what leads me to this assumption? Well the fact that when a guy posts something in the tord online section. It may get responses but a lot of the time it just ends up dying and being buried in the forums forever never to be seen again without a single response. Yet when girls post something in the tordonline section, it’s pretty much guaranteed a spot on the first few pages for all eternity. Now people complained about this on my first pet peeve and they have a right to.

One of my friends was an advocate for getting some of these threads posted by guys a chance, and I too am an advocate for it. I am not on getdare as often as I used to but I did give some guys dares from time to time. I even created a thread in the dare section for people who are requesting dares but aren’t getting any responses. If you’re in the same boat with me that you’re not getting any dares you should go check it out, you may find something there.

But here’s my real complaint about it. We’ll take an AMA thread for an example. Say if a guy sees a girl’s AMA thread and asks question such as: When did you lose your virginity, what is the most sexual thing you’ve done, what is your ultimate sexual fantasy. Let me ask you something. Are all these questions unisexual or am I very very confused? Why on earth will you post these in a girl’s thread but not a guy’s thread!? True you may not be interested in a guy’s opinions nor do you care about the answers but guess what; if I would take a guess most guys who start these threads are not starting them to entertain you but to entertain themselves! If you ask a question there is no law saying that you have to see what their answers are! It’s the same with dares. These are dares not tasks, they are not made to entertain you specifically, they are to entertain themselves. Now sure you may be entertained by girls doing this, but at least give the guys a fighting chance, make this an enjoyable place for them too.

Now, going back to what I said about mostly straight guys. The reason I think these are the stats is because these same guys think that because the ask a guy a truth or give a guy a dare, or assign a guy a rule…that automatically assume that they are gay.
Question, if everything that I’ve said in the above category is true (and imagine that it is) how on earth could you come up with such a ludicrous notion?! What is a truth, a question, what is a dare, a task. How is this different from an employee/employer relationship? Your boss asks you a question and tells you to do something, ohh he must be gay. All truths do not to be sexual! Some lovely girls and some awesome guys in the past have asked me questions on my AMA threads before and they were not sexual in any way, but you know what I didn’t care. I was just ecstatic that I got to answer something!

So please people just give us guys, and girls who don’t get any responses, a chance. It does not make you gay or a lesbian just because you ask a truth or give a dare to the same gender. These people just want a little entertainment and is that such a crime?
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  1. Old Comment
    StrawDog's Avatar
    While there are certain elements of your blog I agree with, there are other things I take into account when posting.

    Firstly, saying things like 'No one will read/comment on this' and 'I don't see the point/think this will do any good, but...' are real turn offs for me. I lose interest with that attitude, and when I see it, or people bumping a thread and complaining about others not posting, or guys posting, I tend not to stick around. Language and how you use it is important, even more so in a virtual community where text is relied on. If you feel so negatively about what you post, or the reasons for it, why do it, and why should I stand behind you? If you want change, be the type of poster you find interesting, post the things that you'd want to see. Noticing the problem is easy.

    Regarding your difficulty giving dares; subs tend to give great dares and tasks, because they've actually had some experience and know how things feel. Have a little more confidence in yourself; I'd find reading dares, tasks and challenges you spent time and thought creating much more pleasurable, interesting and informative than you writing things you 'don't feel will do a lot of good.' Fuck that! Also, you’ve SEEN some of the awful things that are put up and lied about. Are you telling me that you can’t do better? I bet you can. Ultimately, what do you have to lose other than some time? Having a rant is fine and healthy, at times, but you'll need a better strategy if you really want things to be different.

    As for other community members posting in threads to support; yes, absolutely. I actually prefer to post non-sexual questions, for men and women, because I like to build a sense of who I'm talking to. Also, I'm always looking for new books! A task I have given my subs is to ask questions in truth threads as a public service, and have seen others mention the same...

    I will take the time to read through an entire AMA thread. You talk about guys not getting many responses. Okay, break that down some more; look at the how the responses are given. I am curious in the extreme, and will happily question people on anything, regardless of gender. However, I’d like them to be answered with a display of thought, which gives me something to ask further questions with. Women tend to answer more fully. Oh no, I might be straight! No, I just like to see well rounded answers.

    Also, I am not here to entertain you. I owe you nothing more than the merest human respect. Even that is debateable, and hard to manage for many. I don’t even know you, will almost certainly never meet you. Yet I still care. I care for every single member of this community, want to see you do well, be happy and make some kind of connection in this world. To read posts of you enriching your life and experimenting would be a joy for me. Having said that, you need to show me that there is something there, a reason for me to get involved when the majority of indicators point in another direction.

    Talking down the community, making extrapolations simply to fit your pet peeve, pet theory pouting (say that three times fast?) does not make me feel responsive. Quite the opposite.
    Posted 11-07-2013 at 02:17 AM by StrawDog StrawDog is offline
    Updated 11-08-2013 at 04:20 AM by StrawDog
 

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