A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Not all subs are sluts
Posted 06-12-2017 at 10:22 AM by Butterfly
I am not a slut, a whore, a bitch, a c**t ... I am also not a slave. and will not answer to such. I am a sub and you may call me Butterfly.
Recently I read a blog post where the writer referred to all subs as sluts. He said something along the lines of "I try my best and you sluts just ruin it". That is a gross generalization. Not all subs are sluts!
Not all subs/slaves like being called names.
Sure, degradation and humiliation are common kinks, and a lot of people do enjoy being called names. I know a lot of people who enjoy it. The nastier the name, the wetter it makes them. However, there are still rules that need to be followed.
1. When you meet somebody in chat or wish to send them a pm, they are your equal. It doesn't matter if you are a big domly Dom and you know they are a sub/slave, you are still equals and should refer to them by their NAME! Do not call them names right away. Do not refer to them as simply "sub" or "slave". They are a person. A person who is equal to you until a relationship is formed.
2. When you are writing in threads or blogs, do not refer to the entire population of subs/slaves as "sluts" or "whores" or "bitches". Just because you enjoy calling names, doesn't mean we enjoy being called names. It is rude and ignorant.
3. Before calling somebody names, talk to them about whether they enjoy degradation and name calling. Find out if there are any names you should avoid. COMMUNICATE!!!
Just because you are a Dom, it does not give you the right to call people names. Just because I am a sub, it does not mean I am a slut, or a bitch, or anything else you may wish to call me.
So for the love of kink ....
Recently I read a blog post where the writer referred to all subs as sluts. He said something along the lines of "I try my best and you sluts just ruin it". That is a gross generalization. Not all subs are sluts!
Not all subs/slaves like being called names.
Sure, degradation and humiliation are common kinks, and a lot of people do enjoy being called names. I know a lot of people who enjoy it. The nastier the name, the wetter it makes them. However, there are still rules that need to be followed.
1. When you meet somebody in chat or wish to send them a pm, they are your equal. It doesn't matter if you are a big domly Dom and you know they are a sub/slave, you are still equals and should refer to them by their NAME! Do not call them names right away. Do not refer to them as simply "sub" or "slave". They are a person. A person who is equal to you until a relationship is formed.
2. When you are writing in threads or blogs, do not refer to the entire population of subs/slaves as "sluts" or "whores" or "bitches". Just because you enjoy calling names, doesn't mean we enjoy being called names. It is rude and ignorant.
3. Before calling somebody names, talk to them about whether they enjoy degradation and name calling. Find out if there are any names you should avoid. COMMUNICATE!!!
Just because you are a Dom, it does not give you the right to call people names. Just because I am a sub, it does not mean I am a slut, or a bitch, or anything else you may wish to call me.
So for the love of kink ....
Total Comments 15
Comments
-
You are very right about that!
And for the same reason you should not call a random Dom Sir or a random Domme Miss!Posted 06-12-2017 at 10:31 AM by Jaro 
-
Yes. I hate when people call me Miss or when they call Asslvr, Sir. He is NOT theirs! I understand that in that case people are doing so as a sign of respect, but it is a possessive thing for me.Posted 06-12-2017 at 10:34 AM by Butterfly
-
Thank you for writing this!
My owner can call me whatever he wishes. Strangers can not.
Until entering a (healthy) D/s dynamic, every party is equal. So normal standards of communication apply.Posted 06-12-2017 at 10:37 AM by little pet
-
Consent is THE basic. People need to play more Genital Jousting or drink tea to get it.Posted 06-12-2017 at 10:54 AM by CSasha
-
Nice discussion. I would urge continued recognition of the difference between "name calling" such as "you dumb purple-headed lizard" (or "dumb slut" etc.) which is what Butterfly covers in the OP, and inappropriate use of standard salutations such as "sir" or "Ma'am" which might be otherwise innocuous in day-to-day situations. I think it is a bit much to lump them together when one is flatly wrong and not OK, whereas the other is a simple mistake for those who may not be as far advanced in their thinking. The latter is a chance for discussion or perhaps even education, if that isn't too presumptuous.Posted 06-12-2017 at 12:04 PM by MarvHarvey
-
I agree wholeheartedly! I can't even count the number of times I've received kik messages, pms, fl messages, and tumblr messages that start out with "hey whore" or the like. A little bit of respect goes a looooong way.Posted 06-12-2017 at 12:48 PM by lola.fox
-
I agree. That is why I did not include giving titles in my blog post. It isn't something that would cause me harm, it is more of an annoyance and something I would explain to them. I really do think some people do it out of respect. Their intention is not to offend others.Quote:Originally Posted by MarvHarvey
Nice discussion. I would urge continued recognition of the difference between "name calling" such as "you dumb purple-headed lizard" (or "dumb slut" etc.) which is what Butterfly covers in the OP, and inappropriate use of standard salutations such as "sir" or "Ma'am" which might be otherwise innocuous in day-to-day situations. I think it is a bit much to lump them together when one is flatly wrong and not OK, whereas the other is a simple mistake for those who may not be as far advanced in their thinking. The latter is a chance for discussion or perhaps even education, if that isn't too presumptuous.
Whereas calling people names without communicating with them first is just rude and ignorant. It is offensive even to those who like being called names, because they do not have a chance to give their consent.Posted 06-12-2017 at 12:51 PM by Butterfly
-
+100000!
This is one of the things that riles me up in 0.5 seconds. If you are not AM, you can not call me insulting/humiliating/degrading names. And if you do you're going to see my psychotic bitch side! Even AM avoids specific words because of triggers, so for someone else to use them I instantly want to punch them in the face. It's the same with sub/slave...I am not 'a' sub/slave, I am HIS sub/slave. So you don't get to call me that, only he does.
The people who use Sir to AM/Miss to me annoys me too. I don't mind in a couple of threads like T&D but random pms, people who have never spoken to me before, the random whispers in chat etc they make me want to sew their mouth shut.
And the ones who use Sir to AM....I'm possessive and jealous...it doesn't go well for them.
(If it's a genuine mistake/to be respectful, I will just say please don't do that.) But the ones who continue .... arghh!Posted 06-12-2017 at 02:24 PM by IceMaiden
Updated 06-12-2017 at 02:48 PM by Butterfly (Couldn't read the writting) -
So agree with this! I've had some really horrible PM's calling me all-sorts. Like do they think I'm going to be impressed??? They just get deleted straight away.Posted 06-12-2017 at 02:44 PM by Sam~
-
I totally agree with this and I usually respond very well to name calling, but if you're meeting me for the first time and haven't taken the time to know me, I don't enjoy it. Also this is just my own personal opinion but even when you engage in a relationship I still see the two partners as equals just one choose to willingly submit to the other but that's getting off the point. For some reason people don't seem to understand that online when you start a conversation with someone it's the same as you would be doing it in real life. Unless you're a dick, you're not going to call someone a slut right off the bat. Sad to say though like usual the people who need to read these kind of things the most are not going to take the time to.Posted 06-12-2017 at 03:38 PM by Komodo Jones
-
Oh I completely agree that you remain equals throughout a relationship. However some people don't believe that which is why I pointed out that before you start a relationship you are on equal footing and have no right to call them names or belittle them in any way. I tend to think that the people who talk down and call names to people in the first conversation are the same people who feel like subs/slaves have no voice or no rights.Quote:Originally Posted by Komodo Jones
I totally agree with this and I usually respond very well to name calling, but if you're meeting me for the first time and haven't taken the time to know me, I don't enjoy it. Also this is just my own personal opinion but even when you engage in a relationship I still see the two partners as equals just one choose to willingly submit to the other but that's getting off the point. For some reason people don't seem to understand that online when you start a conversation with someone it's the same as you would be doing it in real life. Unless you're a dick, you're not going to call someone a slut right off the bat. Sad to say though like usual the people who need to read these kind of things the most are not going to take the time to.
Posted 06-12-2017 at 04:30 PM by Butterfly
-
My friend you are so right on with this!!!!!!! I am a big believer in just plain old fashion curtesy. You would never walk up to someone on the street and call them a slut or whatever. You would politely address them by name or at the very least show signs of mutual respect. I personally enjoy being called names as part of my kink but only from my Miss not just from some random person. I do have to point out one thing..... domly Dom??? Really Butterfly? Really? That just cracks me up for some reasonPosted 06-12-2017 at 05:49 PM by pt26
-
This is only partly true,Quote:Originally Posted by Sub.lucy
Thank you for writing this!
My owner can call me whatever he wishes. Strangers can not.
Until entering a (healthy) D/s dynamic, every party is equal. So normal standards of communication apply.
IN play I may call you whatever I wish, but only because you have chosen to enter your submissive state and allow me to let you drown in that knowing that I will pull you out, take the time to warm you up and let you dooze afterwards.
Outside play I probably "could" call you whatever I want but only because you trust me i won't.Posted 06-12-2017 at 06:51 PM by sir sam
-
Then of course there is cluelessness. I got this today:
Ms marvHarvey,
Please assign a punishment for me...............
He got off to a bad start from the *very* beginning. ROFL.
Maybe he thinks the avatar is me!
I did send him some introductory links that I prepared a few months ago.Posted 06-13-2017 at 12:34 PM by MarvHarvey
-
And that's exactly why I put it like that. I trust you on that because we have communicated about it beforehand.Quote:Originally Posted by sir sam
This is only partly true,
IN play I may call you whatever I wish, but only because you have chosen to enter your submissive state and allow me to let you drown in that knowing that I will pull you out, take the time to warm you up and let you dooze afterwards.
Outside play I probably "could" call you whatever I want but only because you trust me i won't.Posted 06-13-2017 at 12:36 PM by little pet
