I've had some not so fun relationships in the past. It's amazing what we keep bottled up inside of ourselves and even more amazing what finally breaks that tension.

For me, it was having an orgasm with IcyHot on my clit and then enduring the ten minutes of insane pain afterwards. I'm still not entirely sure why, but I ended up a sobbing mess. The pain wasn't too much, yes it hurt, but I've felt worse.

Sinister told me he was proud of me, I was amazing, and that I was beautiful,...

Not entirely sure why, but Sinister has recently started calling me princess (much to my embarrassment). So, when I started informing him that I wasn't a princess, he had fun teaching me otherwise.

I had to run a few errands today while Sinister would be out with friends, so he gave me some rules that would warm me up to the idea of being his princess. Nothing major. He chose my outfit for the day and made it a rule that I needed to do either 30 seconds of rubbing my clit or 5 cunt spanks...

The theme for this scene was, you guessed it, how my dom claimed to own my voice. I'll be perfectly blunt, don't remember this too well as it was more heat of the moment things instead of decided upon tasks to do in advance. Not to say I didn't love it, just that it's harder to remember.

It was a good thing I was home alone, since it involved a lot of embarrassing things being said over and over again.

I'm not very, er, vocal when it comes to play. I speak my mind, but moaning...

So, recently the boy toy and I have started doing a more goal oriented type of play. Instead of random rules given to me and giving me an orgasm when I'm horny, we set some kind of subject and make rules that teach/remind/show me about this subject.

We are also no longer playing everyday, which is nice and lets us focus on us. We've only done this new kind play three times and I feel like I should write reports on them, since they were amazing and I had loads of fun.

So,...

So, yesterday did not go as planned. The boy toy and I had a 'training day' (basically a day of all teasing called something other than a punishment), but through a series of mishaps and mistakes, we cut that day short.

I am continually surprised at how easily Sinister seems to handle my insane mood swings. How he can just drop the domly dom mode and switch into concern dom mode at the drop of a hat. At times, I feel as though he is tired of it, the constant switching. It has to be frustrating...

It's nothing really; a small silver chain around my neck. I wear it constantly because it makes him happy for me to have a reminder.

I also wear it as a reminder to myself. Not of my submission, although it gives me fun memories of that, but of the relationship that we have.

Every time I touch it, I'm reminded that there is someone who cares. Someone who has spent time and a significant amount of energy making me happy. Someone who I trust, to an extent, and who hopefully...

I've cried after scenes. Hell, I've cried during scenes. Not for the reasons that most dominants want. I never shed a tear from pain and any crying done post-scene was from a subdrop.

About, two days ago, around 2am, I decided to be a total brat to my dominant. Now, this isn't exactly news and I was doing it in a playful teasing way. So, he decided to 'express his dominance' in a playful and teasing way.

So, yesterday, after wearing my Kitty Collar for about an hour, with...