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I have a lot of things I should talk about and it is easier for me to do that on a random website to a bunch of strangers. You can comment on my stuff or not, but the majority of my blog posts will be personal things that are difficult for me to talk about out loud.
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Negotiation 101

Posted 09-19-2017 at 01:00 AM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)

A reference for people doing RL scenes and play and things they might want to negotiate. Inspired by a list taught at a negotiation and communication class at my local dungeon.

Before you negotiate a scene with someone, check yourself.
  • Are you in a positive frame of mind?
  • H.A.L.T. Am I hungry, angry, lonely, tired?
  • Is my judgement impaired somehow be it from alcohol, drugs, or simply lack of sleep?

People:
  • Does anyone else need to consent to this negotiation? (Another partner,
...
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The R Word

Posted 03-26-2017 at 12:48 AM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)

He didn't do that. It might sound like he did, but he didn't. It was just poor communication. Because that sort of thing has certain connotations. That sort of thing happens while you're unconscious or with a knife to your throat. He didn't do that.

We were both drunk and had been doing sexual stuff all night. I was at his place and our mutual friend had left, leaving us alone on his bed. He was pretty dominant with me and he knew I loved it. He made me give him a handjob, even though...
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A Series of Kinky Events

Posted 01-15-2017 at 03:02 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)
Tags kinky, rants, techie

Monsters exist in everyone's life. A shadow in the corner of your eye or a nightmare that follows your every step. Not all monsters are visible and some you haven't even met. I always picture my demons as some horrendous shapes in the darkness. Not all are physical and some were created by my own design. They are predatory, with sharp teeth and glowing eyes. They stalk me at night, clawing at my mind while they whisper atrocities in my ear.

Sometimes, to fight my monsters, I become an...
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Shame Spiral

Posted 12-23-2016 at 07:47 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)
Updated 12-23-2016 at 10:40 PM by techiegirl
Tags kinky, rants, techie

My number one advice nowadays for people is to get involved in the BDSM community. It has changed my life and I will always be grateful to the friends who convinced me to go to my first event.

As time has gone by, I've become more involved. I go to classes, I volunteer, and I try to help new people that I meet. BDSM is inclusive, or it tries to be, and so many people are welcome. As long as your kink is done consensually and safely, BDSM will include you. The people might not, but people...
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My Humanity

Posted 12-17-2016 at 04:59 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)

We've all gotten that message from a Twue Dom declaring us to be their newest slave. There are so many blogs on this subject, the ridiculous messages we'll get with orders to refer to them as Master. It's like they don't see us as human. Just another potential slave. Doesn't matter if you're a dom or a sub, they've decided that you're a slave, their slave no less, and they are the greatest master you're ever going to have.

We all know those annoying messages, but that's not my subject...
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My First

Posted 12-11-2016 at 12:46 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)

I was nervous that night, that much I remember clearly. He and his wife were nice and had watched me casually try out impact with a friend. They'd both said I had a nice ass and shortly after that, he started texting me.

They were looking for a girl to add to their dynamic and I was very new, so he talked about doing an impact scene with me, my first scene. There's a huge difference between the types of things I'd done previously and what he was asking to do. Sceneing is much more intense,...
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The Line We Walk

Posted 12-09-2016 at 11:58 PM by techiegirl (Memoirs of a Dork)
Tags abuse, kinky, techie

I have a very conservative and religious family. Sex is not discussed, ever. I was never given 'The Talk' but rather I figured out how sex worked on my own. I wasn't ever told about masturbation or why it was apparently bad (spoilers, it's not bad, masturbation is awesome). My mother hates the porn industry, hates sex scenes in movies, and hates it when women wear low cut tops on TV.

This made things a bit difficult when we started discussing Fifty Shades of Grey.

Many...
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