Self-care along with a long term DS relationship
During my first week or two here, I got totally carried away by this whole thing. I was receiving requests from all directions, trying everything with everyone - now this was inevitable cause I wouldn't have known what I wanted if I didn't try things, I wouldn't have found the right Dom for me if I hadn't played with a few, and I wouldn't even know how much I appreciated him if I didn't have other experiences to compare to.
So there is nothing I regret about how the first days went, they went the way they needed to and filled their purpose. But I just knew it wasn't all that healthy or sustainable long term. And this question quickly took place in my mind : will I find a balance in all of this ?
I was getting dehydrated, my lips started cracking, I barely ate, probably lost a few pounds... I was having fun but it's all I was doing. Sadly the body is a machine that needs more than fun to function properly. Fun will only get you so far.
But I often just go with the flow with anything I do, take a mental note of what's going on and what I don't really like, and wait for things to fall in place, and usually they do pretty much naturally - they did.
With that initial discovery stage being behind me, that and my horny days of the month (let's say the 10 days before my period happened to be when I joined this platform, and it's not a coincidence, I was horny), I started naturally cutting out the extra noise, knowing what I like more from trying things, and of course the major factor here is being with my Dom again (now my Owner) which as some readers here know, I almost lost due to life circumstances, but for now at least we're together in it again.
Not having to look for something else helps, just having a stable dominant that I work well with and wouldn't replace for anything or anyone. Him being short of the free time he used to have or wished he had happened to be exactly what I needed, it leaves me with a lot of time to focus on myself without feeling like I'm missing out on fun. I found my balance in this dynamic, at least for now, this balance that I was wondering if I would ever manage to instaure in this kind of chaotic quest for pleasure and satisfaction.
Not only that, but the very BDSM environment that first seemed like an obstacle to looking after myself, became an incentive to do so. I started focusing again on my yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, vocal exercises, physical exercises, nutrition, ... to keep myself relatively healthy, relaxed, pain free, and in shape as it makes the experience more enjoyable. So I can feel good about myself when I take a picture. So my voice is free and expressive when I make vocal reports for my Owner. So that my sensations when playing aren't clouded with all sorts of muscular tensions and restrictions, or anxiety and stress. This is how it all became an environment where I feel even more motivated about taking care of myself on the side.
All of that along with the fact that I started to get into a rythme, dare I say developing a routine, knowing when my Owner wakes up, goes to sleep or works, which kind of got me into the habit of doing certain things at certain moments, tho it's very flexible.
Just some thoughts on how things ended up falling in place and how I'm liking the current balance that I have. I don't take anything for granted, but I'm so happy with what I have right now.
So there is nothing I regret about how the first days went, they went the way they needed to and filled their purpose. But I just knew it wasn't all that healthy or sustainable long term. And this question quickly took place in my mind : will I find a balance in all of this ?
I was getting dehydrated, my lips started cracking, I barely ate, probably lost a few pounds... I was having fun but it's all I was doing. Sadly the body is a machine that needs more than fun to function properly. Fun will only get you so far.
But I often just go with the flow with anything I do, take a mental note of what's going on and what I don't really like, and wait for things to fall in place, and usually they do pretty much naturally - they did.
With that initial discovery stage being behind me, that and my horny days of the month (let's say the 10 days before my period happened to be when I joined this platform, and it's not a coincidence, I was horny), I started naturally cutting out the extra noise, knowing what I like more from trying things, and of course the major factor here is being with my Dom again (now my Owner) which as some readers here know, I almost lost due to life circumstances, but for now at least we're together in it again.
Not having to look for something else helps, just having a stable dominant that I work well with and wouldn't replace for anything or anyone. Him being short of the free time he used to have or wished he had happened to be exactly what I needed, it leaves me with a lot of time to focus on myself without feeling like I'm missing out on fun. I found my balance in this dynamic, at least for now, this balance that I was wondering if I would ever manage to instaure in this kind of chaotic quest for pleasure and satisfaction.
Not only that, but the very BDSM environment that first seemed like an obstacle to looking after myself, became an incentive to do so. I started focusing again on my yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, vocal exercises, physical exercises, nutrition, ... to keep myself relatively healthy, relaxed, pain free, and in shape as it makes the experience more enjoyable. So I can feel good about myself when I take a picture. So my voice is free and expressive when I make vocal reports for my Owner. So that my sensations when playing aren't clouded with all sorts of muscular tensions and restrictions, or anxiety and stress. This is how it all became an environment where I feel even more motivated about taking care of myself on the side.
All of that along with the fact that I started to get into a rythme, dare I say developing a routine, knowing when my Owner wakes up, goes to sleep or works, which kind of got me into the habit of doing certain things at certain moments, tho it's very flexible.
Just some thoughts on how things ended up falling in place and how I'm liking the current balance that I have. I don't take anything for granted, but I'm so happy with what I have right now.
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