Dr. Cass replies: What am I doing wrong?

Hello friends and readers,

This time a blog post caught my eye. I'll quote it in my own words. Forgive me should I get anything wrong.

My impression by your blog post is that your English is sufficient. Yes, it could improve, as could mine, but I think I clearly understood what you tried to express and I didn't get eye cancer reading it. I don't think that's the root of your problems. I'd recommend that you put into signature that you speak French (or that you are from France if that's the case). You wouldn't believe how many people from your country lurk around here as you do, and probably at least some of them even live close by.

Side note: This was good question though. Yes, that your writing is readable is important. This is a forum alias board. If you have trouble with that, I recommend finding ways to improve your writing skills. You don't have to be perfect, far from that. Even most dyslexia people I have come to get known had to tell me that they are, because they worked on it based on their knowledge that they had problems with the usual learning ways and with reading and writing in general. It's a vital skill in our world.

Yes, you are absolutely right. There are many fakes and guys who just want to jerk off. This is the ugly side of the internet (not that I have anything against guys jerking off ).

Ignore those fakes and horny disappear-jerks. Spent all your time with honest, reliable people. But how do you differ between both?

Lies are hard to remember and stick to over longer periods. It's effort to keep up one or more fakes over long periods.

Honest, reliable people share information on a frequent basis. That doesn't have to be their real name, address, face. It's the small things you get to know about them. And then, oh wonder, when they continue to talk, write, post, those details reappear, develop, and relate to each other. Then you might realize that their avatar is actually related to one or more details about them.
Finally, you see all the effort they put into their account, day after week after month. You see them having friends, other users who post in their threads or welcome posts by them in their thread. And then they refer to each other details. They comment on each others blogs and albums, and sometimes those by strangers. They greet each other in chat by name. Then by more the statistics and the threads and posts they have written, you see that if they disappeared, it would take them ages to build up that credit again with a new account.

Yes and no. Make yourself with your account differ from the fake and horny disappear jerks. I think you aren't one of them but clearly just stating so doesn't make you differ. You don't have to post at all. There's also the blog, the albums, and the chat. But take part in a good way. Let yourself be seen.

Have meaningful interaction with other people here without looking for a longterm mistress or master right away. You wrote you did dares. Have you thought about continueing doing dares? Have you thought about blogging your reports to those dares? A partner giving you dares could become a friend or even a longterm mistress or master, if you figure out how to keep them daring you and communicating.

Your faith is justified. I assure those people are here. But as I recommend to you, they filter whom they give more of their time and attention. They are sick of fakes and horny disappear jerks by bad experience. Care about that you look like a good experience (avatar, frequent activity in chat, blog, or forum threads), and then be a good experience whenever people interact with you. Be a social human being we can talk to besides your quest for a long-term relationship.

There's no club or group you enter once, just common sense and relationships.

There's no shortcut for that. It starts by having not only one but multiple relationships, not only with a partner but mainly with friends. That's where you learn the skills you need to make a longterm relationship work. And also, this is where you get support to find and sustain one.

A relationship is no miracle which happens ones you are lucky, or a treasure you find by digging everwhere. A relationship is something you construct by putting sweat, blood and tears into over time. If you want something great, then build it. If you want someone great, overcome the phase when you and your partner discover each other ugliest sides, and learn to love the whole persons, you and your partner.

Focus less on only finding a partner here, or even finding one right away. Find some friends. When it's time, they'll spread the word about you looking for a partner, they'll praise and recommend you whenever others ask, they set you up when they see a potential partner, and they push up your aging ad with wonderful words about you. At least, that's what I have seen happening.

Welcome to getDare and hopefully some consistent action from you now, mon ami.