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How does no, not mean no?

Posted 03-28-2015 at 03:31 PM by DoingMyBest

I don't really know how to explain this. But suffice to say, it's not cool behaviour. What I really wanted to say was that attitudes like this are why there's so much sexual assault and rape and so on. I feel I responded quite reserved and politely. But I do not wish to. I wanted to shout and scream and belittle - because it's beyond rude and it's assumptive and egotistical and saying I have no say in the matter, I don't deserve to be able to make a decision myself and because they'll claim they're just making a joke, when it's painfully clear they were pushing to get their jollies, not giving a crap about my inner monologue and free will.

Anyway, I am just going to post the PM transcript (and it's not the first of this kind I've received from various people - most, thankfully, politely say thanks for the well wishes, sometimes say it's a shame and often saynothing). I'll remove the member's name because... I'm not really sure why. I guess I don't want to be an arse to the guy, which seems unfair, but I don't think I'm an arse. Hopefully, if they see this, they'll think about why I've railed against it like so and maybe be grateful for me not mentioning their name, instead of angry I've shared the conversation. (P.S. I had intended to mention how it was rude and disrespectful to my other half as well [when I read the PM in my e-mails, several hours before replying onhere], but it slipped my mind as I was concerned with pointing out how disgusting such an attitude to others is.)

Hey,

Fancy a game of battlestrip?

Greetz,
"Member"


Hey,

Sorry, but I'm both straight and taken. Glad you're interested in the game though Have fun with it!

Thx, be honest, bot are no reason for shopstoppers

I am always honest. Both are excellent reasona and it's extremely disrespectful (at best) to think otherwise and, more importantly, not accept that someone is saying no. It's an atitude like that that causes a lot of (particularly women) people to be and feel uncomfortable. Enjoy your game - with a willing partner.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    LitDarkness's Avatar
    Very true. I agree. But people take no as try harder, sadly.
    Posted 03-28-2015 at 05:19 PM by LitDarkness LitDarkness is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Foxy Rose's Avatar
    DMB, I feel exactly the same. Goes the same with a blog I posted the other day urging people to READ profiles. Why bother with someone who is taken. Some people just don't show that respect to others. And clearly here you said no to them. Nowadays, I don't even bother to respond to PM's who request whatever, just because 1. I don't know them and 2. I am very happy with my someone special.
    Posted 03-29-2015 at 12:46 AM by Foxy Rose Foxy Rose is offline
  3. Old Comment
    MasterDaddy02's Avatar
    Foxy Rose, a very good point! In that if you see someone is taken, then you should respect them and who they belong too! Show that to others, instead of not caring whatsoever.
    Posted 03-29-2015 at 01:19 AM by MasterDaddy02 MasterDaddy02 is offline
  4. Old Comment
    drwarschauu's Avatar
    That was a very polite response from you, DMB. The guy should have just sent a nice reply back or maybe left it alone. No does indeed mean no. Some people seem to think that if you're on this site, it automatically means you get to dare them or set tasks, whether you're taken or not, interested or not, willing or not. It can really rub you the wrong way sometimes, huh? I hope the blog (and supportive replies) made you feel better! Keep saying no and ignore people who don't know about the word no.
    Posted 03-30-2015 at 04:12 AM by drwarschauu drwarschauu is offline
 

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