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Mushy blogs/gD couples

Posted 10-10-2014 at 07:57 PM by DoingMyBest

Well, first of all, can I just point out the sheer immensity in the number of loved up blogs going on in the last few days?

It's great, it really is (I'm aware how insincere that sounds, but it's not meant to...). I think I used most of my "soppy" words in comments replying to over a dozen in one big batch, but I really am happy for you all.

The couples in question (and several others besides: all of you know who I mean) are excellently paired and not just play partners, but all seem to be very much in love. It's quite amazing. But the point I was making in this paragraph was that you're all known as gD couples now (despite some only being together as littles 3 months now etc) and people can;t imagine it any other way and that gD wouldn't be the same if it were.



Unfortunately... It's also indirectly why I keep disappearing from gD (I believe there've been discussions about me when I disappear like that).

It's not your guys' fault, I swear. It's also not simple/basic jealousy. I hope I'm not that petty. Although, as many of you know, if I did get jealous over it - 1) I think I'd have every ritght, what you have is beautiful and worthy of that envy. 2) I don't know how to process emotions and they cause me no end of grief and problems - I basically can't cope with them.

No, in actuality, (and some of you know this or may have guessed etc) I can get very ill, very quickly. I have termed this Sirius and those that know, understand why. Those that are exceptionally savvy may be able to figure it out (although nobody has to date).

I had more of a point to make, but the problem with my noggin is that it works very fast on several lines of thought and so I often forget what I'm talking about after I start typing it out.

I think I was going to say here something about how the combination of knowing that what y'all have is highly unlikely for me, plus that illness that crops up at seeing you all in your glorious, enticing, magnificent and fantastic pairings... Well, suffice to say, I'm signing off again for a bit because I can't quite handle it all right this moment.

True friends can find me on Skype. If you think you are one and haven't my skype, ask me or another frind of mine for it... I will try to be on gD but it can be very draining and sometimes even a little upstting. But don't let that sully the happiness I have for you all x
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Ly Ph's Avatar
    I know you said you were not jealous but I know I have been in the past. There is some what of an extraordinarily high bar set when you think about these GD couples. Its one of the reasons I want to vaguely mention any issues within any blogs I am made to post. I wont go into details but knowing they are there and life is not all rainbows seems to give a better interpretation.

    I do like the term GD couples.

    Any way you are awesome and GD is for the worse without you when you leave.

    I know you are about to argue against me so to that I say "Shut up and take my compliments!" *throws compliments as hard as she can at your face*
    Posted 10-10-2014 at 08:17 PM by Ly Ph Ly Ph is offline
  2. Old Comment
    DoingMyBest's Avatar
    Ah, I said it wasn't basic jealousy. There have been moments and those are the worst because I freak out AND feel bad on top of everything else. Entirely right re: the stupendously high bar though - how could one ever compete with it Not that we're competing etc, but y'all now what I mean.
    I appreciate you trying to be honest and balanced (scientists, eh? :P ). I don't doubt the others have problems on occasion as well. That being said - I am also painfully aware I won't be at that level in my life.

    Good It is now the correct term.

    Not. No matter how many people are in on that conspiracy! But you are kind for saying it's worse without me - sure it's not all that different

    *dodges and politely collatees compliments to return them* I like your pie. I mean face. I face your pie. I think I didded it wrong...
    Posted 10-10-2014 at 08:25 PM by DoingMyBest DoingMyBest is offline
  3. Old Comment
    kittenlyss's Avatar
    There have been a lot of lovey blogs going up. I've mostly just given up on keeping up with them. (Side note: To anyone reading this, that posts love blogs. You are all completely awesome and I wish I could just draw hearts around your blogs to show you how much I love them.)

    And I do not think jealousy is specific to you at all. I think we all get jealous of someone.

    I get jealous of masochists when they talk about all the fun they have doing pain things. Because I don't think pain is much fun, but I feel like I'm missing out on so much by not liking it.

    I get jealous of people who have their playmates/SO near enough to have a physical relationship.

    I get jealous of people who are able to bond with others easily.

    I get jealous of people who have the motivation to pursue their dreams.

    I get jealous of people who have the courage to push past their fears.

    I get jealous of tall people because... they're tall and I'm not.

    And I don't think it's bad to take time off from immersing yourself in things that you need time to handle. That's healthy. It's just that we're all bothered by different things.
    Posted 10-11-2014 at 04:38 PM by kittenlyss kittenlyss is offline
  4. Old Comment
    DoingMyBest's Avatar
    Total agreement. But now I've caught up, it's easy enought o keep up. It's just taking a toll on me.

    I never meant to claim it was specific to me. I'm all too aware that everyone here gets jealous of each other in the most polite way.

    All of those things, Wigglyss. But you also know I'm speaking of something more and how little I really experience jealousy. For how you've felt, imagine what it's like for me - the one who feels that way in comparison to you (this all being re: our earlier discussion).

    It's less that I'm not immersing myself and more I'm retreating within myself. I fought SO VERY HARD to come out and to come onto gD and I have done a few times and keep being rebuffed, not by anyone's will or intention. I just can't deal with it all and it's in an insanely unhealthy manner at the moment.

    Normally, I retreat and disappear from FB (which kills my work) and e-mails and forums and everything and nobody knows where I am. but living in the same house as Paul means this never quite succeeds, so I can't brood and destroy myself and try to rebuild and come out afresh. I have suffered entropy, but can't allow myself the total collapse I need, let alone the rebuilding.

    I am painfully aware of the implausibility of me looking after myself, taking care of myself and yet I know, in pure logic, not even just self-deprecation, I will never have someone both willing AND capable (let alone either) to be able to do it for me and I would wish that burden upon no-one.

    But that's not really what this is about. This post was meant to be about how I am really quite glad you all have each other. I wish you all to stay happy together and to not take it for granted.
    Posted 10-11-2014 at 05:09 PM by DoingMyBest DoingMyBest is offline
 

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