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A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
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Race to 50 edges

Posted 06-10-2022 at 07:13 PM by Butterfly (The Butterfly Effect)

Yesterday I had the day free from work and had planned to stay in bed as long as I could. I have been feeling pretty burnt out and needed some self care time. This plan had originally included porn, edging and some a few orgasms, but when I mentioned this to the Dom that I have been casually playing with, he teased me with the idea that he might prohibit me from touching myself all day. Of course this made me very pouty and also even more horny. I was instructed to check in with him when I woke up and...
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Old

Being a Toy

Posted 06-09-2022 at 02:50 PM by Butterfly (The Butterfly Effect)

I have been playing casually with a Dom for the last few weeks. One of the things he has imposed is the name "Toy" for me. It hasn't been something that is easy for me. I have fought against it at times and because of this, I was given an assignment to think about the characteristics that describe a toy and explain how I share the same attributes.

Here is what I came up with:

A toy is fun to play with.
I am a ball of fun. I love to make people laugh and
...
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Old

Just a few submissive fantasies ...

Posted 05-22-2022 at 08:33 PM by Butterfly (The Butterfly Effect)

Breath play
Breath play has always been something that I have said was outside my risk profile, however, I have always found porn with themes of breath play really hot. Lately I have been fantasizing about exploring breath play just a bit irl. Maybe I would be sitting at my computer, doing some work, and he would appear and with the simple command "hold your breath", I would stop breathing and wait desperately for him to allow me to take a breath. An even more exciting scenario is being
...
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Old

I got a puppy!!!

Posted 05-22-2022 at 09:13 AM by Butterfly (The Butterfly Effect)

For anybody who knows me to any degree, probably knows that I have always wanted a puppy. I even wrote a blog about it here.

However, for some reason the grown ups in my life have always voted against me and told me that I am not old enough (even though that is complete BS since I am a responsible grown up!) Instead, I have been blessed with three kitties, out Pasta Cats.


(Spaghetti, Fettucine & Penne)

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A Butterfly Princess <3
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Old

Heartbreak

Posted 05-21-2022 at 12:42 PM by Butterfly (The Butterfly Effect)

I have struggled to write this blog for over a week now. I am still numb but also very deeply hurt. After 2.5 years, Gerbil.boy and I are no longer together.

I don't regret loving him. I don't hate him. I don't think I ever could. But knowing that I had invested more in the relationship than he ever could, and that the decision to walk away from me seemed to come so easily to him ... it hurts.

I wouldn't change the fact that I gave my heart to him. It's what I do. I wear
...
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Old

Release

Posted 05-08-2022 at 11:10 PM by Butterfly (The Butterfly Effect)

*trigger warning - self harm*

Sometimes life can feel overwhelming. It's been a bumpy road - as life is. The beginning of this year has been extra bumpy.

I have had to be brave, strong, dependant, responsible and all adulty for a long time. The emotions have built up. Between work and home it seems to be never ending. I am constantly in the driver's seat. I crave release.

Today is Mother's Day and it is such a hard day for me. But I haven't shared that with...
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Old

A Fun Play Session: Edging

Posted 03-26-2022 at 08:47 AM by Butterfly (The Butterfly Effect)

Sir warned me earlier in the week that our play session for this weekend was going to leave me horny and wanting. I donít typically handle denial too well, but I do like being edged and teased. The problem is it takes over everything and my throbbing princess parts is all that I can think about. But I guess this was the goal of the day Ö

Sir had me start by gathering my wand, a dildo and a smaller vibrator (I chose my little bullet vibe). I laid in the bed and made the first call to Sir.
...
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