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Coming out

Posted 04-22-2018 at 09:54 AM by Cassandra

Thanks to sockless74's blog post, I have seriously asked myself how I came along. I think partly, I didn't try to fool anyone, but on the other hand, I have meddled and struggled with how others conceive me.

I am transgender. I thought it didn't play a role too much that I was, and still do, but on the other hand: society. That's the whole trouble it's about.
Originally Posted by wikipedia
Transgender people are those who have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their assigned sex.
My gender identity or expression differs from my assigned sex. If society wouldn't assign a sex, or wouldn't discriminate at all, then many people including me wouldn't have a problem at all. We wouldn't need vocabulary like gender, man, women, transgender. We wouldn't need laws for it. And nobody needed to "come out". But we do.

I guess I didn't make much of a deal about it because so far asking myself if I was the opposite sex I was assigned to, my answer is "No". I love the benefits of both sides, like the confidence and object trouble-shooting, as well as the empathy and the relationship trouble-shooting and care. I don't want to miss any of those. But also, I hate being labeled, because it means I am treated differently, positively or negatively discriminated by sex.

So far, most people put me in a gender box, and as soon as I mention my husband, in a sexuality box. It's a whole lot of effort to correct them, since many people aren't really aware that gender as well as sexuality aren't binary.

It makes me angry. So angry that I changed to pick up the predjucides and play with them. "Boys can add/Girls can add"? Fuck it. Than I am a boy or a girl now, whatever suits me.

For example, due to my user name alone, people assume. They don't know me. They could read my blogs, or at least my profile. They could take seriously what I write. Or maybe they just don't understand. As it is, being seen as a woman here as on many other occasions means that plenty of "men" frequently approach you for a) being their mistress b) giving them a dare or a "punishment" (while they actually mean funishment) c) being their slave/sub. And many other sexist things. I think all people suffer, no matter which binary gender or sexuality they are assigned to. There are plenty of discriminations against men, too.

Now recently on the commuter train, I have been asked if I was a man or a woman. Partly, I think they were a bit confused, but on the other hand it's discriminating right away. What other reason would anybody has to ask that question, especially a stranger? I wasn't prepared for that. So far, I have only been asked that in a space where we talked about gender, and people were so careful to ask how I wanted to be addressed, out of respect and courtesy.

That means for me, the things I had started to change regarding my physical appearance, like clothes, hair style, and now recently I also started working on my voice and body movement, work out to shift how I am perceived. My kind of transition has started to significantly show. I am not sure yet how I want to answer the questions raised in the future by the people around me.

Well, first of all, I am transgender. I am what I am. I define my identity, and nobody else. If you like it or not.

Thank you for your attention
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Total Comments 2


  1. Old Comment
    Golden_Throw's Avatar
    I feel you. Being Trans on Getdare is tough. I don't get as much "attention" as you do, but that doesn't mean I don't have to deal with idiots. Sometimes it just hard to enjoy sexual pleasure when you always feel like you're sombody's target.
    Posted 04-23-2018 at 03:50 PM by Golden_Throw Golden_Throw is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Cassandra's Avatar
    Thank you. Being Trans on getDare seems easier for me than in the real world. I haven't had a Coming out anywhere else yet and don't know if I will.
    Posted 04-24-2018 at 03:48 AM by Cassandra Cassandra is offline
    Updated 04-24-2018 at 03:56 AM by Cassandra

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