I love getDare!

I used to be a lesbian.
Not just like “I kissed a girl, and I liked it!” But like a full on lesbian avenger, activist, “I am really really really gay.” kind of lesbian. I spent 20 years of my life in gay and lesbian bars, spoke to large crowds about what it is like to be gay.
I never really looked the part, but I sure did not want anything to do with a penis, and loved loved loved the women!
(and in case you are worried: this is not some like “christ cured me of my love for women” kind of story)

How I used to be
I also saw BDSM as this very dark thing. I had a lot of experience; my wife of 10 years was kinky. She was a domme who kept saying she wanted to try subbing sometime, but every time it happened she would call her safe word before I even did anything. Our safe word was “pickle” and before I even got her hands held down on the bed she would yell, “Pickle! Pickle!”
She would sometimes specifically torment me and hurt me for hours in an attempt to get me to say it. I never did actually say pickle.
I did a lot with her, and for her. We had sex everywhere we could, we both loved public sex. We had threesomes and foursomes (sometimes involving a guy). We did all kinds of bedroom BDSM, and I even served her 24/7 for short periods.
The longest 24/7 stint was 3 weeks. During that 3 weeks I went way outside of my comfort zone, but it seems safe right? She was my wife of 10 years after all.
At some point, I think a week in, I told her I was getting uncomfortable, and that the 24/7 was making me feel insecure. She got pissed. I acquiesced and told her I would continue.
A few weeks later she took a week long drive out to the country with one of our friends, a woman I now fondly call psychoMcWifeStealer. PMWS introduced her to speed while they were gone. I knew something was off, and asked my wife about it, and she reassured me.
Horny one evening, I dug in the sex toy box for a toy to masturbate with and noticed the strap on (well, technically the feeldoe) was missing.
It was over then. Except, apparently speed makes people crazy assholes who fall in love with other crazy people, and then alternately stalk their exes, fall back in love with them, send death threats, and then fall madly (back) in love with crazy people again over and over and over for a year.

And getDare
After I had a few months to recuperate I found getDare again. I was mostly just really really really really horny. To go from 10 years of regular sex to nothing (ZERO SEX), for a woman in her late 30’s, is HELL. My pussy aimlessly throbbing, and no amount of masturbation would fix it.
Back in the day (12-13 years ago) I used to have women on my AIM who would role play with me if we both happened to be online at the same time. I thought I could find something like that on getDare, make my masturbation more fun and... successful?
So, I put up an ad. I thought I was looking for the dark form of play that my ex and I had. I didn’t know anything could be different.

And craigslist
I was horny (did I mention that?) but really not wanting to get in another relationship, so I posted up an ad for a FWB on craigslist. I said I was looking for a woman, but if there was a guy who was really patient, it could possibly work. I only got responses from guys. The first guy I met up with was really kind of perfect. He was gorgeous, and really really really patient. We met several times over the next few months. For the first few weeks we would sit on his couch, watch the nature channel, and I would poke him and giggle… “You are a BOY! Tee hee!”
Eventually we made it to the bed, hand jobs, blow jobs and the like. I was definitely not gay. It turns out I have an incredible fondness for giving head!

The creeps
I got a lot of responses to my ad on getDare (truthfully the creeps came out as soon as I signed up), and a lot of guys who really really creeped me out. One guy, I talk to on ym for a few hours, and was actually considering, sent me an email the next day telling me that I will be expected to send him a fully nude photo within the first week of us playing. I never replied to that email, and then I got a nasty email from him telling me I disgust him. A lot of other guys asking me to do things I am clearly going to hate, right off the bat, and not backing down at all. A lot of entitled jerks, who think just because they say so, I should choose them.

And everything changes
But... one reply was just amazing!!! He was so much younger than me, but wise, and fun. He starts to explain to me that BDSM doesn’t have to be dark, that it can be joyful and fun. My whole life I struggled to match up the BDSM side of me with my personality, it just didn’t seem to fit at all, but here was this 19 year old guy explaining to me how it could be done.
We only played for a little while, something happened in his rl that made him have to stop. He was super mild, amazingly gentle, but also… FUN.
I bumped my ad. Got another amazing response, and started again. This guy was 23, so 14 years younger than me. The play with him was amazing. He was kind, but really expected a lot of me. I would get random emails during the day ordering me to do things at work in the bathroom. We started talking on the phone, slowly I realized his favorite thing is getting me embarrassed. I do all kinds of crazy things, breast bondage to work, spankings, sleeping totally bound up, clothespins, and I never ever feel as insecure and unsafe as I did with my ex-wife that day. And all of it is fun, even the hard stuff, and it makes me feel happy!
Note: our safe word was tropical fruit.

A Switch?
And one day, he tells me, he would really like it if I would domme him sometimes. Somehow the act of him asking gets him subby instantly, and next thing I know he is begging me to domme him. We were on the phone at the time, and I didn’t understand what he wanted me to have him do. He said, “Anything you want.” and my head went whirling. Anything? Really anything? For the next few days I stewed on that, thought about how I expect that when I am a sub, so why wouldn’t he? And then started to think about what I would want, and my mind goes crazy.

In person
All of that happened only a little while before we met up in person. For a 4 day amazing wonderland of kinky happiness. We did every kinky thing we could think of, and laughed a lot, and had a really wonderful time.
I also had my first PIV sex in over 20 years. And yeah. Totally not gay.

Fast forward
I had another dom between now and then, who actually helped me focus on my school work to graduate college. I am certain that if he hadn’t been there, I never would have graduated college. I have also had a few subs.

Sadist does not equal Asshole
Right after I graduated I posted a new ad. And that is when I met deschut. I have no idea how in the world this happened, but we are coming up on 9 months of playing. In my mind, that means that for 9 months I have done every single crazy thing that his crazy evil mind has come up with. He is a sadist, which used to mean to me “asshole.” But it doesn’t actually mean that as it turns out! I do think a lot of assholes use the word to explain away their asshole-ness, but asshole is just asshole, it doesn’t matter if you can paint a pretty picture.

The idea that playing with a sadist can be fun, playful, joyful and filled with kindness just throws my mind for a loop every single day. My pain tolerance has skyrocketed over the past 9 months, but I have heard nothing but kind words, and felt nothing but care. I have done things that were so difficult they made me cry, and felt pain so intense it made my eyes water, and never felt anything but totally protected and cared for. I have never in my life felt the total surrender that I feel with him, I have never completely given in to someone before, trusting them to be there when they push me to tears, and to protect me from emotional and physical harm always. I really just do everything, sometimes questioning, but never saying no.
Note: our safe word is zucchini.

OMG. It is all so amazing. And the path that led me here was fucking sketchy ass getDare. Who in the world knew this place could be so great?

Anyway, that is kind of the story about how getDare changed my life, and brings me amazingly wonderful joy. There is a lot missing, like I could write for days about my friends: naked_lego, Straw Dog, Shadowice, drwarschauu, and the rest of them. getDare is amazing.

TLDR: is how you end up with fakers.