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You are okay

Posted 08-10-2017 at 04:20 PM by Cassandra

I consider having had two major, untreated depressions. Maybe add plenty of minor ones because I don't know how to count them. Sometimes I notice certain patterns from myself in the sayings and actions of other people. I still have doubts in what I do, even in being able and meaningful in working in my dream job as I do right now, and to a certain degree quite successful. Also, I have many plans and ambitions what to do and achieve, but then in daily life, I even struggle to work on those at all. Sometimes a day just goes by like nothing.

But, that's okay. It's probably easier and more successful to tell you than when I tell it to me. I have seen so many friends starting big projects, just now I remember a great guy going for over 10,000 edges before being allowed to cum again, with plenty of restrictions and rules how to do the edges and how to behave while not having completed them. Or another great friend, my shadow-shiny knight in my head, who looks to struggle from the same sky-high ambitions in contrast to what he actually reaches of that. My experiences of those contrast are always quite sad and depressing.

Only when I shrug off what I wanted and failed to do, the relation of ideals and goals to the actual change and little accomplishments, and get happy and satisfied about the small absolute steps and tiny changes that I managed to do, that I solve my dilemma and misery, and get over it and on with life. Easy to say, hard to live by every single time.

I have a great lust, and I follow it to a certain extent. Ice cream, chocolate? When I have an appetite, I guess it's for a good reason. At least, I know I cannot resist it all the time, so I give in plenty of times. Despite I like to lose some weight, although I know the effect of carbs very well, especially the sweet, tempting sugar. For sure, I also eat some more than I need, but then that's for another good reason, a compensation of something my soul needs.

Personally, I don't have a good degree of self-discipline, but there are others ways I have found that work for progress and change to a complete self. Everyone is different. Everything works for some and doesn't work for others. Most importantly, I am okay the way I am. Guilt or shame don't help me at all (and still I have them ). But most importantly, YOU are okay. Yes, you! I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I mean especially you, who just failed a task you set yourself or asked for, or even the one I gave you. It's okay. We both get over it.

You are important. You might not feel like it right now. I might have missed another chance to tell you and make you feel that you are. No matter how little you think the changes you make to the world might be, you change the world. You make a difference! Keep on being. Keep on walking. Take a rest whenever you need. Don't push yourself too much. When it's time for you to walk again, when you are ready to do so, you will make the steps you change the world with. It's hard to notice the footprints you leave while standing in it.

Many thanks for all the compliments I have received over the past month. Every single one meant a lot to me. I didn't see how helpful it was for so many people back when I created something. It always takes so much time until I recognize.
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Total Comments 5


  1. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar
    What a positive post this is!
    I'm sure we all make a difference in more ways then we think.
    It also reminds me of a great quote attributed to Winston Churchill:

    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts!"
    Posted 08-11-2017 at 05:22 AM by Jaro Jaro is offline
  2. Old Comment
    sir sam's Avatar
    Wonderfull post,

    here you go....


    i just realize I probably did not give you that enough. In reality you are a very frequent, reliable poster. I always read your blogs, they are always nice and insightfull, you always contribute in meaningfull ways to threads of people who try to achieve something or set something up for their sub or pet.

    Personally I think "failing" can very easily happen on the casual play threads. 9 out 10 times one will get tasks that are NOT curved to the person, very often tasks that are complete bullshit. So,.. feeling bad about not completing them is a sad thing.
    When having a stable dom one can (hopefully) expect tasks that are doable. Probably pushing, but doable. A dom will even protect towards the overambitious horny self-ideas and adapt them towards capability.

    Well,.. those are my 2 cents
    Posted 08-11-2017 at 07:26 AM by sir sam sir sam is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Cassandra's Avatar
    Great contribution, Jaro and sir sam. Many many thanks for the compliments both of you.
    Posted 08-11-2017 at 07:42 AM by Cassandra Cassandra is online now
  4. Old Comment
    nina@'s Avatar
    Great blog Cass.. Deep and thoughtful.

    While we are generally preoccupied with our broader life goals we often fail to realise and undermine the important role that seemingly smaller things like the people we interact with, the positivities we can absorb from our surroundings, the negativities that we can remove and the smiles that we can bring to someone are what really affect and shape our lives qualitatively.

    And for me the key to inner peace and happiness is to absorb only what makes me stronger (like Godric Gryffindors sword from the HP series..lol) and block the rest as noise and I apply this philosophy in everything.. work or play! In fact I feel once we achieve inner peace we are at a much better position to comprehend our goals, revise them to realistic levels and not only be content with it but also be motivated and more self disciplined towards it's fulfilment and may even end up surpassing them.

    Thanks Cass for this great blog. Hope people read it and get inspired!
    Posted 08-11-2017 at 03:00 PM by [email protected] nina@ is offline
    Updated 08-11-2017 at 03:15 PM by [email protected]
  5. Old Comment
    Cassandra's Avatar
    Many thanks, Nina.
    Posted 08-12-2017 at 04:51 AM by Cassandra Cassandra is online now

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