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memoires of a depraved primate - part II: rape

Posted 06-06-2012 at 04:01 PM by RST

As I'm a bit above the average age on GD I read stuff younger people are up to and what's on their minds. Sometimes this takes me back to my own younger years and I've decided to make a few blog posts about my own past depravities to share some truths with you all.

part II: rape

Before I start this of properly I would like to state that I am aware rape fantasies are a big taboo even on GD. Girls can get a lot of negative feedback if they say they have and like rape fantasies so I will one up them and tell you about some I had. Just to be clear we are only talking about fantasies here:

I hate rapists. I would never do it IRL and I would probably be able to kill the purpatrator if I ever witnessed it.

Now what made me remember was an RP session I did with a girl in chat. I was curious about RP since I never did it and the girl told me she liked violent and rape scenarios. We discussed a few and settled on her being trapped in an elevator and me being the abusive repairman taking advantage. The funny thing about RP is you both start free associating and getting into character. Then you start feeding each other reactions and options to explore and the play will start to lead a life of it's own. The scenario went on to be very disturbing and ended badly. Strangely enough I think we both kind of liked it but I was also pretty disturbed by what 'my character' did. Here's a small snippet to give you an idea:

[00:09:32] RST: *pull you up by the hair*
[00:09:47] XXXX: *I scream again, holding my nose*
[00:09:57] RST: * stand you on trembling legs in front of the broken mirror again*
[00:10:14] RST: "scream all you like girl"
[00:11:19] XXXX: *I place one hand on the handrail, tryin to keep myself up, my other hand and most of my body are covered in blood
[00:11:25] RST: *grab you from behind and squeeze your tits as I press you to the mirror and shove my cock in your ass again*
[00:12:25] RST: *look you in the face in the mirror over your shoulder and whisper*
[00:12:35] XXXX: *I scream again*
[00:12:54] RST: "tell me you love my cock bitch or else..."
[00:13:23] RST: *pump in and out grunting*
[00:13:30] RST: "FUCKING TELL ME!"
[00:14:21] XXXX: *I sob, trying desperately to pull away from you*
[00:15:08] RST: *grab your hair and slam your face into the mirror once*
[00:15:16] RST: "FUCKING"
[00:15:20] RST: "TELL"
[00:15:23] RST: "ME"
[00:15:28] RST: "NOW"
[00:16:12] XXXX: *I scream as my nose smashes again* "I-I l-love your c-cock"
[00:16:58] RST: *pull out and step back*
[00:17:15] RST: *turn you around and force you on your knees*
[00:17:42] XXXX: *I fall to the ground* "p-pleas no more, I am begging y-you"
[00:17:56] RST: "since you fucking love it so much why don't you suck it?"
[00:18:45] XXXX: "p-please no"

I still don't know if I will ever do this kind of play again even though I have to admit I found it at least a bit exciting and so did my chat partner. The main thing is it made me remember having rape fantasies for a while when I was younger.

The time I'm talking about I was in high school probably about 16 years old. The usual story: virgin, shy, horny, masturbation addict and frustrated. Mind you kids I didn't have internet access then so you had to close your eyes and fantasise. Now at some point I started to enjoy the following scenario for a while. It always involved one of a few girls I was obsessing about at the time. In some way I would have gotten them tied up in their clothes on my bed. I would then talk to them and slowly cut off their clothes. They would struggle and plead of course but I would suss them and continue gently. Then I would kiss them all over, finger and eat them over and over. The struggling and anger would eventually go away and through some kind of Stockholm syndrome they would eventually come to love me.

Even though these fantasies are relatively sweet and innocent to the above scenario I knew they were wrong at the time. They were probably a reaction to my total inability to do anything sexual with girls at the time. After not too long other more wholesome scenarios started replacing these as they always came and went and I never entertained the thought again until just recently in chat.

Think of me what you will. This is who I was and am.
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  1. Old Comment
    LOVE it! would love to read the rest?
    Posted 06-30-2012 at 01:24 PM by katie-lou katie-lou is offline

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