I recently became involved in the local scene and I've been going to munches, buying toys, and playing with strangers. One thing I seemed to have forgotten, and I think people just tend to let this slip their minds, is that submission is fucking hard. Yes, dominating/topping/owning someone is difficult too, but I'm going to talk about the strength needed to relinquish control.

People submit for a host of reasons. For me, one of the main forces that draws me towards the S side of a D/s...

Ask anyone. 0/10 would recommend. Unfortunately, I'm an extremely emotional person. Didn't use to be, but over time I can easily become a sobbing mess, over ice cream no less (don't ask).

BDSM lets me forget about those feelings. Maybe that's not the healthiest thing in the world, but I'm extremely done with being constantly anxious and upset. It's exhausting. So, for the first time in two months, I play with someone who makes me forget everything. It's awesome I'm telling you.
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I've had some not so fun relationships in the past. It's amazing what we keep bottled up inside of ourselves and even more amazing what finally breaks that tension.

For me, it was having an orgasm with IcyHot on my clit and then enduring the ten minutes of insane pain afterwards. I'm still not entirely sure why, but I ended up a sobbing mess. The pain wasn't too much, yes it hurt, but I've felt worse.

Sinister told me he was proud of me, I was amazing, and that I was beautiful,...

The past few weeks have been very difficult. Emotions flew all over the place. My ups were mountains and my downs chasms. I'm an extremely emotional person. It's pretty exhausting.

In contrast, Sinister is not very emotional. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's not. Just as sometimes my insane reactions are good and sometimes they aren't.

I'm also very needy. Which can have horrendous results when paired with my emotions.

My dom puts up with a lot...

The worst is when the call ends. When you've got those few moments of silence right after you both exchange the 'have a great day, bye, I love you's. That is the hardest part. Even though you know you have to leave or you'll be late to class or you know he is falling asleep as you talk. Hearing that silence after static, after his breathing, after saying goodbye like it's the last time you'll ever be able to speak, it's rough.

Long distance is the worst, 0/10 would recommend. The time...

I have an extremely sensitive gag reflex. I despise drooling and I hate having things in my mouth. For these reasons, gags/putting things in my mouth has been a limit for a while.

Guess who just bought a bit gag. This bitch. (found here http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...ilpage_o01_s00)

It was a surprise for the boy toy and at least half of GD knew I was buying it, but it finally arrived and it's so pretty.
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Self bondage is hard. It's basically the worst thing on the god damn planet, but kind of necessary if you're unable to play in person and your dom really likes bondage.

Don't get me wrong, I love bondage too! Well, I love tying knots (I'm a knotty girl). But loving to tie knots does not make tying rope into your hair any easier. And knowing that it's going to look amazing doesn't make tying the rope from your hair around your ankles any less complicated.

Everything would...