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Being a Toy

Posted 06-09-2022 at 02:50 PM by Butterfly

I have been playing casually with a Dom for the last few weeks. One of the things he has imposed is the name "Toy" for me. It hasn't been something that is easy for me. I have fought against it at times and because of this, I was given an assignment to think about the characteristics that describe a toy and explain how I share the same attributes.

Here is what I came up with:

A toy is fun to play with.
I am a ball of fun. I love to make people laugh and feel good. If I can make my Dom chuckle, then I am happy. I am essentially 5 years old at heart. I have stuffies, glitter and live in a world of rainbows. What could be more fun than that? On a more literal note, I am very expressive, so it is fun to tease me. I am easy to embarrass and make blush, which I am sure you find fun.

A toy exists to satisfy
A toy should have few limits and should do what it can to please its owner. I like to obey. I like to please. I want to make my Dom proud. I donít feel like I have few limits. However, I do want to push my boundaries. I want to be pushed outside of my comfort zone. I want to explore my soft limits, and hopefully shrink that list. I want to continue to grow, and learn.

A toy is always available.
Obviously this isnít always feasible. I canít actually be available 24/7. However, I pride myself on always being able to manage my time and my relationships. I really enjoy being used and receiving attention from my Dom, so when he is ready and able to use me, I am eager to prioritize my time and make myself available as often as possible.

A toy is happy being a toy.
Being called a toy over the last few days has been difficult. It has pushed some buttons, and even triggered me at times, however, it has also turned me on. The humiliation of being just a toy, owned by you, existing for your pleasure, has made my clit ache. However, I think the part that has turned me on the most is that you control me. But either way, I canít deny that I have been turned on being called a toy.


The last one is the one that I had the hardest time with ...

A toy is an object

I originally wrote:

I am not an object. I am not brainless. I am a smart woman. I donít do things without question. I donít do things quietly. I overthink. I am stubborn and feisty and have worked so hard in my life to build my confidence to be able to counteract the negative image that others have imposed on me. I have also worked hard to learn to stand up for myself and have a voice. Being called brainless or having to call myself brainless really triggered something for me.

I think this is something that I really struggle with. On one hand, I do want to give in and submit without thinking. I want to trust and give myself to you. I want to not think and just do. Honestly, that sounds amazing. It sounds relieving. But it is too early. It is scary. I am not there yet. Also, I have fears and worries and I need to be able to share those. I know you are a big, mean, scary Dom, but I need to be able to share those things because I need a bit of softness at times. I need encouragement. I need reassurance when I am being pushed.

Also I am a brat, I am a little and I canít just turn off those parts of me. And questioning and complaining and bantering is part of who I am, and is something that I really enjoy. I have always loved to banter and I donít want to give that up. Maybe there is just a time and place for it but I canít give it up completely.


After he read it, the Dom pointed out that the above explanation really didn't fit within the spirit of the assignment. With more discussion, he pointed out that I could be both a smart, intelligent woman, and still an object and a Toy for him to control and use for his pleasure. I was given a chance to redo the last portion of my writing assignment in order to please him.

This time I wrote:

I am an object. Within our dynamic, I am yours to control and do with as you wish. I am yours to use and humiliate as you please. I will listen to your orders without question. I will not overthink. I will submit quietly and obediently.

Being called a Toy is not something I have ever considered. However, upon reflection, I have learned that it really does suit me in many ways.

Over the past week I have been given the task to speak in third person and refer myself as "Toy" to further drive the name home. This is something that I absolutely hate doing. I find it obnoxious and annoying when people speak in third person, so to have to do it myself is awful. It has been intense and has taken a lot of will power and strength to not rebel against it. Doing it is humbling, it is humiliating, it turns me on so freaking much .

And honestly I couldn't see myself doing this for just anybody but I am doing it for him. I want to be his Toy.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    aussiedom's Avatar
    You should go edit this to be in third person as toy
    Posted 06-09-2022 at 08:39 PM by aussiedom aussiedom is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Butterfly's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by aussiedom View Comment
    You should go edit this to be in third person as toy
    Nope, I was given permission to write this in first person. It was hard enough without adding that.
    Posted 06-09-2022 at 08:41 PM by Butterfly Butterfly is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Jaro's Avatar
    I know this is a huge step for you but I am super happy for you that you can do it and it turns you on.
    Yay for toy-ness!
    Posted 06-09-2022 at 08:46 PM by Jaro Jaro is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Manarus's Avatar
    Quote:
    I am a smart woman. I don’t do things without question. I don’t do things quietly. I overthink. I am stubborn and feisty and have worked so hard in my life to build my confidence to be able to counteract the negative image that others have imposed on me.
    This is a really good trait. Keep this for real life! Nevertheless, in game mode, you can still be a toy without betraying your personality
    Just make sure you are able to draw the border like "This is real life, now I am a smart woman", and "This is a fun game, now I am a brainless toy". I think a smart woman can switch between those two. A brainless toy certainly can't

    Oh, and I like brats, they are fun
    Posted 06-13-2022 at 01:02 PM by Manarus Manarus is offline
 

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